托福高分作文,满分范文

For the development of a country, it is more important to spend money on education of very young children than to spend on universities.

Education plays an increasing fundamental role in our days. We tie the future of our country to the level of education standard and government is projecting to increase the funding for students. But there is a substantial divergence of opinion. Some say that the significance of educating our young children outweighs that of elder students and the government should elevate the investment on the former. In my opinion, spending more on universities is a great deal.   

First, through the investment on university we can harvest an instant result on the improved employment rate. The USA is suffering the aftermath of economy crisis in 2008. Countless companies are shrinking their salary and cutting employees; highly educated graduates are anxious for hunting an ordinary job. Therefore the request of new job opportunity is increasing correspondingly. To fill the unemployment rate gap, government can invest more money to enhance the education level in the universities, whose teaching qualities link to the employment rate directly. For example, the university can make use of the money into the extension of library and purchase of more books, motivating more students to engage into library marathons. Or investing the money on the recruitment of senior professors, who can not only deliver more practical knowledge to students, but also use his/her strong personal network to recommend some excellent students to some positions.  

Second, numerous scientific research achievements come from universities labs. Doing experiments is not so cost-efficient but brings many progressions to our lives and our society, which is closely related to everyone. So labs need more funding. For example, enjoying a good reputation in the domain of physics, Stanford University uses her linear accelerator, which is the largest in the world, to accomplish many researches. But starting up the machines needs electricity much enough to light up a town for a whole year.  Is that worthy? Certainly it is. Seemingly not environmental-friendly at first sight, these researches in Stanford are exceedingly important; without them, the nuclear power cannot get its proper and safe use on generating electricity, which prohibits many trees from being cut down and cuts the potential carbon emissions invisibly. There is no doubt that the government should pay the bill, providing solid funding for universities to explore the science.  

Admittedly, scientists are more mindful of the preliminary education for young kids. According to research, 5-10 year-old is the golden time to cultivate children’s intelligences. Kids are unconsciously influenced by environmental elements such as the sophisticated teaching facility. But we should take it with a grain of salt. Young children are prone to be distracted in multi-media classrooms because their brains are not mature enough to resist temptations of online games, which can be played secretly on the class. So, spending too much money on young children is merely an exercise in vain.  

In sum, although educational funding on young children cannot be left on the sidelines, only the universities can live up to the great funding and make best use of it. Put more money on the latter when facing limited budgets.

预估分数:4.5

论据展开的推理不错,叙述也清晰,说服力强

积累不错,单词量等都挺大的,但叙述的时候要注意细节

用词方面,有的地方不必那么正式。

We need tohave different sources of news and information to know which one is the realone or who is telling the truth. 

The ability of independent thinking, virtually symbolizes the [the去掉]intelligence, is treasured nowadays. Lazy modern people tend to be misled by some  single-sourced news, because the same event can be reported in different versions which may either agitate public anger or reassure their anxiety. Therefore, limited information will encumber people to dig the truth. In my point, grasping varies sources of news are the cornerstone to explore and identify the reality. 

We are in the maze, the seemingly shortcut to the truth may be the deliberate pitfall.  To bury the truth or cover the crime, the government will control the public opinions and exert influences on people. [这里可以说take advantage of 就不用这么累赘地说两个短句了]So the sole source of news is not trustworthy. For example, in North Korea, numerous dissidents are being muzzled by the leader. Kim Jong Eun cuts the connection to the outside world and instills his extreme thought to citizens, making them believe that they are the “happiest man” [men] in the world. Under such totalitarianism, it is difficult for people to know their real life. But there are still some people who can secretly surf the Internet, knowing their life and the truth of their nation from CNN or BBC. Increasing number of citizens are escaping[加from] North Korea currently. That exemplifies how different sources of news help people to find the truth.    朝鲜的例子举得很不错]

Although diverse sources of news may perplex people, they are the cornerstone for in depth truth exploring. [加连字符]One-sided news reports make it easy for North Korean to know the truth. On the contrary, in the countries with freedom of speech, it is grossly tough for people to identify the reality. Nonetheless, different sources of news provide different perspectives toward the same events. By comparison of the news, we can survive from the overwhelming information. For example, Reuters, Times and The Wall Street journals, they chose different point [复数] to report the Mh370 accidents. Finding the contradictions and common points in these reports, we can ensure that the plane has deviated its airline and the oil had been consumed up.  But whether the plane exploded or directly sank into the sea needs further information. [结合时事很好,而且也和前面一段有自然的衔接]

Admittedly, it is time-consuming to collect the information and analyze them. For example, in order to find the truth of WWII, historians just [just去掉] have to search not only the formal history but also countless unofficial history. But the project is worth conducting because the truth is all that we chase for our life. Conscientious people want to know whether their country was at fault for the war; many dead people urged for a fair judgment of their life. So we need abundant information to find the truth. 

In sum, the more diversified sources of news we get the truth, the closer we are to the truth. [结尾不宜过于简洁]

预估分数:4.5

时事结合分析很不错,例子选的很好。总体来说,展开是很好的了

还是同样的建议,不建议用特别正式的词语,总体来说和谐就好

结尾还要再想想,太过简洁显得突兀。

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Physical exercises are much more

important to elderly people than young people.

Physical exercises are undoubtedly of great importance for both the elderly and young people since they can provide the people with optimistic emotions and healthy bodies. Based on my own experience and personality, compared with the effects physical exercises have on the elderly, I think exercises are much more vital for young people.

To begin with, undoubtedly, physical exercise can assist young people to keep fit, which is tightly relevant to their performance on both their study and work. Yu Qiuyu, one of the most influential and greatest writers in China, has insightfully commented that, “Nothing is more important than a good body.” Only by having a healthy body can people put all their attention to the work they are doing,[加逗号] as once they get sick, it is difficult for them to concentrate on the work. I can think of no better illustration that people who are ill will probably ask for leave. Even if they are on duty, their working results might be less than satisfactory. Hence, in order to make better achievements without delay, it is important for young people to do some exercise to remain healthy.

Further lending credence to my position is that for young people, the more physical exercises they do, the higher working efficiency they can have. That is because not only can physical exercises offer young people healthy bodies, they can also encourage young people to have a good mood. First, during the process of exercising, they can release all their emotions and pressure, and somehow get a temporary escape from the work and study. Second, they can do exercises in the locations such as beaches, which are far from the city. On the beach, they are able to watch the beautiful sea and feel the wind, which will make them feel comfortable both physically and mentally. With better mood, clearly, their working efficiency can be largely promoted as well.

What’s more, no one can deny the fact in the contemporary society, young people, especially girls, care more about their shapes than elderly people do, so doing physical exercises is their best choice. I do admit that going on a diet is helpful for losing weight, but it will probably result in some bad consequences like dystrophia. Thus, doing exercises seem more effective for them. Apart from losing weight, they do not have to eat less during meals.

Based on the analysis above, we can hardly ignore the great influences physical exercises produce on young people’s growth. Therefore, I can safely draw the conclusion that exercises are much more essential for young people.

预估分数:4.5

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