美国大学文书申请范文

I guess it was inevitable that I’d be on hockey skates at some point in my life, but I did not expect that I’d become one of a rare group of female ice hockey officials before I even reached high school. Being born into a family of hockey players and figure skaters, it seemed that my destiny had already been decided.

Right from the beginning, my two older brothers and my father strapped me up and threw me onto the ice. I loved it and, in my mind, I was on my way to becoming a female Gretzky! But my mom had to think of something fast to drag her little girl away from this sport of ruffians. Enter my first hot pink figure skating dress! That was all it took to launch fifteen years of competitive figure skating. Even though figure skating soon became my passion, I always had an unsatisfied yearning for ice hockey. It took a great deal of convincing from my parents that competitive figure skating and ice hockey didn’t mix.

My compromise became refereeing ice hockey; little did I know that I was beginning an activity that would influence my character and who I am today. When I began, I would only work with my dad and brothers. Everyone was friendly and accepting because I had just started. I soon realized though that to get better I needed to start refereeing with

people I wasn’t related to, and that’s when my experience drastically changed. An apologetic smile and an “I’m sorry” wasn’t going to get me through games now. As I began officiating higher-level games and dealing with more arrogant coaches, I suddenly entered a new male-dominated world, a world I had never experienced before. My confidence was shot, and all I wanted to do was get through each game and be able to leave. Sometimes I was even too scared to skate along the teams’ benches because I would get upset by what the coaches would yell to me. “Do you have a hot date tonight, ref?” was a typical comment that coaches would spit at me during the course of a game. In their eyes, I did not belong on that ice, and they were going to do whatever they could do to make sure no women wanted to officiate their games. I was determined not to let them chase me off the ice.

I made the decision to stand up for myself. I never responded rudely to the coaches, but I did not let them walk all over me and destroy my confidence anymore. I started to act and feel more like the 4-year certified Atlantic District Official that I am. There were still a few situations that scared me. One time I called a penalty in a championship game during the third overtime and the team I penalized ended up losing because they got scored on. I knew I had made the right call, even though I was unnerved when I saw the losing

teams’ parents waiting for me at my locker room; for the moment I wished I hadn’t called that penalty. Although it was scary at the time, I stood my ground and overcame my fears. That was an important stepping-stone in my officiating career and in my life.

After four years of refereeing, I still can’t say it’s easy. Every game hands me something new and I never know what to expect. Now I have the confidence and preparation to deal with the unexpected, on and off the ice. I now also know to take everything with a grain of salt and not let it get to me. I have learned that life is just like being out on the ice; if I am prepared and act with confidence, I will be perceived as confident. These are the little lessons that I’m grateful to have learned as a woman referee.

Things to Notice About This Essay

1. The author tells an interesting story about her experiences as a referee.

2. A sense of her personality—determination, flexibility, good humor—comes through in the narration.

3. Details like “Do you have a hot date tonight, ref?” make the narration memorable (we’d love to hear more of these kinds of details).

4. The essay needs a faster start. The first paragraph (three sentences) says the same thing in both the first and third sentences—and gives away the essay’s surprise in the second! A good revision would delete all of paragraph one and start at paragraph two.

5. There’s too much frame here and not enough picture. The essay needs further development, especially about the difficulties of becoming and being a ref, to keep it vivid.

6. The author should “dwell” in the meaning of the experience a little more at the end—“I wonder about…I also think…Sometimes I believe….” Significant experiences like this one, woven through many years of the author’s life, don’t mean just one thing—there are more insights and lessons to explore here.

 

第二篇：美国大学申请文书的5个写作技巧

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美国大学申请文书的5个写作技巧 每个学校都要求申请人写规定了主题的美国大学申请文书。有的学校只需提交一篇文章，有的更为谨慎，要求提交两篇，有的则要交三篇。

写美国大学申请文书的意义是帮助录取委员会通过课程、学业等级、考试分数以及其他客观数据以外的方面熟悉你。它也将证明你组织思想、语言表达的能力。这说明美国大学申请文书是重要的。那么美国大学申请文书到底意味着什么，应该怎样写?

为你总结名校申请经验，《谁说申请高手没有秘密》名师为你解开申请密码

上网参考：为了了解申请文章，你可以在美国的网站上寻找有关申请文章的内容。有些网站专门刊登免费的样文，都是申请成功者的杰作。

简洁明快：美国大学申请文章以简洁明快为好。申请文章都有字数限制，一般为250到500个词。500个词的文章，翻译成中文，也就千字左右。能用一个词的，不用两个词，能用短词的，不用长词，不要超长。

要有表现力：申请文章要具有表现力，把想表达的东西展现给别人，而不是告诉别人。对以英语为外语的申请人来说，最奏效的方法是多用动词，少用形容词和口头语。“动作”永远是最具有表现力的。

句式要多样：避免通篇使用短句，短句固然简洁清新，但用多了略显幼稚。中国学生不比美国学生，可以随意运用语言，没有人会认为美国学生不会使用长句。而中国学生使用复杂长句，更能体现其英语的成熟。

文章风格：文如其人，申请文章的风格应该充分体现自己自然的风格和写作手法。总之，成功的申请文章会把一个血肉丰满的人展现在阅读者的面前。这就是申请文章的意义所在。

留学签证季悄然来袭，《玩转留学签证》帮你从容应对

当然，在厚厚的申请材料中，美国大学申请文书不过是薄薄的一页或几页纸。既不能奢望一篇石破天惊的文章打动招生人员，把你选进你原本考不上的学校，也不用担心一篇平淡无奇的文章让录取委员会倒了胃口，把你拒绝在原本是十拿九稳的学校之外。

更多关于美国本科留学的相关问题大家可以咨询天道的在线专家。

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