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懒惰是很奇怪的东西，它使你以为那是安逸，是休息，是福气；但实际上它所给你的是无聊，是倦怠，是消沉;它剥夺你对前途的希望，割断你和别人之间的友情，使你心胸日渐狭窄，对人生也越来越怀疑。

—罗兰

分析比较5分和7分作文

Topic

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the disadvantages?

A Poor Essay - The following is a band 5 essay.

　　International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

　　In my opinion advantages outweight the disadvantages. Firstly, many countries like Egypt or Tailand live from tourism Lots of people work there as a seilsmens or tourist guides. These countries without support of tourists wouldn’t be able to funtcion properly.

　　Secondly, in countries visited by tourists are plenty of places where people just can’t pass because of rare animals or plants.

　　Another thing is that people like traveling and seeing new exotic places. They like lie on the beach or swim in ocean.

　　Furthermore, tourism is now more growing industry highering tousands of people. There are makeing new places to work and to have fun.

　　But on the other hand, people often forget that they aren’t the only beings on the planet.

　　Many tourists are living garbage just anywhere. Some of them wan’t an exotic souvenir so they pay for illegal things like dead or live animals or some sculpture.

　　To sum up I think international traveling is a good thing but people must realise that there is something else besides them. They need to know that flora and fauna needs to be protected. People have to enjoy their holidays but also protect environment.

Below is an analysis of this essay.

Task Response.

　　The essay question has been copied and used as the introduction (paragraph 1). Once these 34 words are taken off the word count, the response is under length at 194 words and so loses marks. Nevertheless, the topic is addressed and a relevant position is expressed, although there are patches - as in the third paragraph - where the development is unclear. Other ideas are more relevant but are sometimes insufficiently developed.

　　Coherence and Cohesion.

　　The candidate’s ideas are clearly organised, and there is an overall progression within the response. There is some effective use of a range of cohesive devices (e.g. connectives like “Secondly” and “Furthermore”). Referencing is also sometimes used effectively (e.g. in paragraph 4, the use of “they” in the second sentence to refer to “people” in the first sentence). However, there is also some mechanical over-use of linkers in places (e.g. “But on the other hand,” paragraph 6). As well, paragraphs are sometimes rather too short and inappropriate.

　　Lexical Resource.

　　A range of vocabulary is attempted, and this is adequate for a good response to the task. However, control of the vocabulary is weak, and there are frequent spelling errors which can cause some difficulties for the reader (e.g. “seilsmens” instead of “salesmen,”paragraph 2). This lowers the mark.

　　Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

　　The candidate uses a mix of simple and complex structures with frequent subordinate clauses. Control of complex structures is variable, and although errors are noticeable, they only rarely make it difficult to understand the message.

　　

A Good Essay - The following is a band 7 essay.

　　Tourism is a very big industry in the modern time and is growing quite rapidly. Thousands of people travel everywhere to various destinations every year. Arguments have come up regarding the benefits and negative impacts of tourism in places and on its local inhabitants and environment; however, I believe there are more advantages than disadvantages of international tourism.

　　People travel for various reasons; we travel for business purposes, holidays, visit friends and relatives etc. Travelling is mostly seen as a recreational activity. Tourism has many advantages. Tourism can play a tremendous part in a countrys economy, the more tourists visit a country and spend money there, the better it is for the country; that way more money is circulated within the country and even the stability of their currencys rate of exchange persists if not improve. Vendors and shops get to sell more goods and make an income. Tourism also has its non-monetary advantages; it brings cultures and people closer. People from all around the world get to share their culture with each other and even learn more. This is a good opportunity in education.

　　Tourism seems to have some disadvantages too; However, I believe the problems caused by tourism are not something that cannot be solved or prevented. A lot of people believe that tourism can destroy or deviate culture and causes quite an impact on visited locations, such as pollution and littering. People can adhere to their own beliefs and way of life if they want to; no one can really forcefully influence someone to change from their morals and ethics. Pollution can be avoided by increasing usage of environmental friendly vehicles used for tours and rents, warnings and visual education on littering and smoking, specific times can be allocated for tours to certain areas, such as peak times where local inhabitants feel uncomfortable due to too many foreigners.

　　Where there are problems there can always be solutions. Tourism brings great amount of advantages for any place in many ways and is a “win-win” exchange process. The very few problems caused can always be avoided or taken care of. I believe tourism should be highly promoted, specially in traditional and poor countries with natural beauty such as Thailand.

　　Below is an analysis of this essay.

　　Task Response.

　　The candidate addresses both aspects of the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. Main ideas are generally clear and relevant,although some supporting ideas lack focus, as in the opening of paragraph 2.

　　Coherence and Cohesion.

　　Ideas are generally wellorganised, and there is a clear overall progression with only minor lapses where points are not well-integrated into the argument. A range of cohesive devices is used effectively, although there is some under-use of connectives and substitution, and some lapses in the use of referencing.

　　Lexical Resource.

　　A good range of vocabulary is used with some flexibility and precision. The candidate has a good awareness of style and collocation, although occasional awkward expressions or incorrect word choices and word form lower the mark.

　　Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

A good range of sentence structures is used with a high level of accuracy resulting in frequent error-free sentences. Minor systematic errors persist, however, and punctuation is unhelpful at times.　

20##年3月1日

Most countries spend much money on education, because they realize the importance of education. Among the following courses, which two in your opinion are the most important and which one is the least important?

Literature, sports, mathematics, economy, physics, music, history, geography, philosophy, foreign language.

分析：命题是分析事物利弊的，考生自由选择，无论考生选择什么，分数都不会受到影响，重要的是考生选择后，对自己选择的理由进行符合逻辑地，令人信服地陈述。这个题目所列举的课程本身并没有优劣之别，只是考生自己的判断来决定优劣。陈述社会生活和学习中某些现象或者事物的利弊，是雅思考试的一个基本技能。

要陈述一个事物的利弊，首先必须有对象，就是考生需要假定“观察者”的角色。这是考生应该做的第一步。至于考生确定谁作为观察者，是没有限定，没有制约的，考生可以假定自己是学生，是老师，或者是雇主，或者是家长，或者是其它社会成员。

当你确定了一个观察者之后，你必须具备一个有条理的，系统的分析利弊的思路。就是你分析对这个观察者的利弊，是从哪些方面进行分析。有些事物对一个人的身体有好处的，未必对一个人的事业或者职业有好处，反之亦然。那么怎样建立一个适应多个命题的利弊分析的体系呢？这个问题并不困难，只要问一问每一个人最关心的问题是什么。把这些不同人的观点归纳起来，就是你分析不同命题对不同人的利弊的思路。

对于利弊分析，两个步骤：

1) 确定观察者角色   2) 思考作为观察者的个体，利弊分析的具体方面

01. 身体健康physical health

02. 职业发展潜势 potential career opportunities

03. 学术成功的促进因素 contribute to academic success

04.  心理的综合平衡 comprehensive psychological balance

05.  伦理和道德以及审美情操的培育

ethic and moral cultivation and aesthetic value construction

你选择任何两个课程，作为最重要的，可以从以上五个方面来分析，这些课程为什么重要。所以利弊分析转变到了原因陈述。这是雅思作文考试命题测试的第二个语言技能。/比如，如果选择文学比较重要，那么可以说文学课程对学生或者“我”重要是因为这个课程培养了我的道德伦理，借着文学，我可以更加深刻地理解任何社会，从而使自己的生命更有价值和意义。文学还可以间接地促进我的职业发展，尽管我的职业和文学表面上每有直接的相关性，正是因为如此，我把文学当作业余的兴趣和爱好，丰富了的生命。/比如音乐不仅可以调节我的情绪，而且陶冶了我的情操。一个人孤独的时候，音乐给我希望和憧憬；和老婆在一起的时候，我们可以一起弹琴，一起听音乐会，分享对音乐中蕴含的历史人文和不可知的神秘和美丽。有人说音乐不能给人们带来直接的幸福，但是他们错了，正是聂耳的义勇军进行曲鼓舞了无数身处绝望和死亡境地的士兵、军官奋起拼搏，为了民族独立和人类的尊严进行抵抗野蛮的外族入侵。正是阿炳的一曲二泉映月的二胡曲，真实描绘了神州九百六十万平方公里人生的凄婉悲凉和无奈无常。也正是奥运会竞技场上的国歌，标志了一个民族的强盛和尊严，汇聚了一代又一代的英豪为之努力和拼搏。其实音乐还有很多价值。

这个题目的背景铺垫是国家认知到教育的重要性，所以我确立的观察者是“国家”。就是对国家而言，哪两个课程在我看来是最重要的。注意，这里面依然没有标准答案。你可以随便选择。重要的是你从哪些方面来证明你的选择是令人信服的。那么我们要研究一下，一个国家最重要的是什么。

你可以根据你自己的理解，不断地补充这个表格。勤思考，多锻炼。注意每一个段落之间的逻辑关系和语言形式上的起承转合，并且高度关注每一个段落内部句群关系。

第一段 The importance of an academic course depends not only upon when, why, and how the course is offered but also on such factors as to whom this course is provided. Listing the importance of some courses to a country or a state, I have sufficient evidence to demonstrate that literature ranks first, followed by history, and that mathematics is the least important.