解析新托福综合写作

朗阁海外考试研究中心 黄晓晶

在很多托福考生的心里，都认为写作是相对简单的拉分项，至少也是不需要花太多时间的平分项。实际上，考生在大作文上容易拿到相对稳定的得分，但考生在应答综合写作时会由于听力和阅读等方面的原因使得得分限制在limited的分阶。因此，朗阁海外考试研究中心的专家，根据综合写作的考试形式和评分标准，在本文中为各位考生解析考点并给出应对方案。

一、解题技巧

1. 考试基本介绍

综合写作是托福写作考试的第一部分。该部分要求考生在3分钟内阅读一段学术短文章，然后再听一段长度在2分钟左右的针对于同一学术话题但从不同视角讨论的听力材料。考试要求根据阅读和听力材料是如何一一对应的为内容写一篇150字至225字的学术短文章。文章中不应体现作者的主观意见。

2. 阅读与听力练习

托福综合写作的听力和阅读是整个考试的核心部分。这里笔者建议考生多加练习。在开始的一段时间里专攻听力和阅读的主旨把握，也就是写main idea。练习的时间需要保持在2周左右，然后第三周则开始练习阅读听力的改写。具体练习形式如下：

Reading: Additionally, water treated with fluoride is much purer than untreated water.

Listening: While fluoride does purify water, it can still lead to harmful side effects if taken in large amounts since it is a toxic chemical.

组合信息：

Although the writer of the reading passage thinks _______________________, 写完后最好请老师批改，从词语选用和句式选择上均可以在原文的基础上进行相应的改写。如上文可以组合成：

Although the writer of the reading passage thinks that fluoride water must be clearer than common water, the professor claims that it indeed purer in treated water, but detrimental side effect may also come into bodies if people over take it.

3. 笔记

许多考生认为，在写作的过程中，阅读会重新出现，因此没有必要记笔记。事实上，笔者想强调，笔记不仅需要认真记录，而且需要作为听力内容的重要依据。阅读笔记有以下几点好处：一是理顺阅读文章中的逻辑思路，对阅读内容保持熟悉度；二是为听力内容做个铺垫，通常情况下听力内容以反对或者加强阅读材料为主，因此我们可以猜测听力的内容；三是形成听力和阅读的对应框架以便对照行文。

4. 应对技巧

写作部分考试的开始首先是3分钟的阅读时间。此部分需要考生做一个2次阅读的步骤。第一步先抓取主要观点也就是MAIN ARGUE和3个TS句。这个步骤大约在45秒内可以完成。同时做好框架的笔记结构，找到文章的论点是什么，从哪几个方面入手等信息。第二遍再读细节，找出关键词，将论据用一些符号联系起来。这样阅读部分的完成时间一般在2分钟30秒之内。如果还有剩余时间，考生可以思考一下听力可能从哪几个方面来进行反驳。这样建立一个假想的听力体系，我们在听听力的过程中就能够对号入座，大大提高正确率和关键词的提取速度，以及定位的准确度。

二、场景分类

事实上，考生最头疼的是如何进行更有效率的备考。笔者认为，没有听力和阅读的正确性，综合写作的高分就完全成为奢望。在这一点上，朗阁海外考试研究中心的专家们认为，考生受到限制和分数不够高的原因在于话题难度，因为该部分的学术话题中涉及了人类学、生物、物理、商业、考古学、文学、艺术等多类专业性话题。考生们经常都会因为要记忆写作单词、阅读单词、听力单词和口语单词而觉得时间不够。不仅工作量大，而且记忆难度也大，所以最后就放弃了记单词，一味刷题。其实在备考的过程中，如果考生能够根据现有听力材料中出现的单词对症下药，于听力阅读练习中增加单词记忆，这样就会比单纯背单词起到更好的

效果。下面，笔者以一篇TPO 13的听力阅读文章为例，挑选篇章中适合记忆以及在听力考试中出现频率较高的词汇作为范例，来引导考生的提词能力。

READING MATERIALS:

Private collectors（这类名词性短语的提取效率较低，其他题目不一定用到，可作为非重点）have been selling and buying fossils（“化石”，人类学、考古学的重点单词，一定要掌握）, the petrified（专业词，“石化”，但是有时在独立写作中也可以表示“惊呆”） remains of ancient organisms（专业名词，“有机物”，生物、化学、考古学都可以用到）, ever since the eighteen century. In recent years, however, the sale of fossils, particularly of dinosaurs and other large vertebrates物”，其中可以重点记忆vertebrate, 独立写作写到身体损伤时也能用到）has grown into a big business. Rare and important fossils are now being sold to private

ownership for millions of dollars. This is an unfortunate development for both scientists and the general public.

The public suffers because fossils that would otherwise be donated to museums where everyone can see them are sold to private collectors who do not allow the public to view their collections. Making it harder for the public to see fossils can lead to a decline in public interest in fossils, which would be a pity.

More importantly, scientists are likely to lose access to some of the most

important fossils and thereby miss out（“错失”，此短语需要重点记忆！两部分作文都通用，且能够非常到位地表达意思）on potentially crucial discoveries about extinct life forms. Wealthy fossil buyers with a desire to own the rarest and most important fossils can spend virtually limitless amounts of money本”，表示花了相当多的钱。可以用于独立写作和综合写作）to acquire them. Scientists and the museums and universities they work for often cannot compete successfully for fossils against millionaire fossil buyers.

Moreover, commercial fossil collectors often destroy valuable scientific evidence

associated withunearthfossil collectors are untrained or uninterested in carrying out the careful field work and documentation that reveal the most about animal life in the past. For example, scientists have learned about the biology of nest-building dinosaurs called oviraptors（“产卵管”，不理解这类词语并不影响考试，并且可以完全照抄在写作内容里，因此可以算作非重点。）by carefully observing the exact position of oviraptors fossils in the ground and the presence（presence=existence, 替换词，重点记忆。）of other fossils in the immediate surroundings. Commercial fossil collectors typically pay no attention to how fossils lie in the ground or to the smaller fossils that may surround bigger ones.

在听力材料的处理上，朗阁专家建议考生做题后，再精听几遍，尽量把argue的点都写清楚，然后把关键词重点标注。如有没听清楚的，再对照听力原文，最后把听力原文里有用的词语抠出来。

LISTENING MATERIALS:

First of all, the public is likely to have greater exposure作中非常常见的词，且考生容易误解） to fossils as a result of commercial fossil trade, not less exposure. Commercial fossil hunting makes a lot of fossils available for purchase, and as a result, even low-level public institutions like public schools and libraries can now routinely（表示“例行公事地”，虽然对阅读和听力的内容把握没有大的影响，但可用于独立写作） buy interesting fossils and display them for the public.

As for the idea that scientists will lose access to really important fossils, that’s not realistic either. Before anyone can put a value on a fossil, it needs to be scientifically identified人类学、地理等多类话题都会用到）, right? Well, the only people who can identify, who can really tell what a given fossil is or isn’t, are scientists, by performing

detailed examinations and tests on the fossils themselves. So, even if a fossil is destined to go to a private collector, it has to pass through the hands of scientific experts first. This way, the scientific community（“科学组织”，其他同义词等在考试中经常会出现，诸如association, organization和institution等） is not going to miss out on anything important that’s out there.

Finally, whatever damage commercial fossil collectors sometimes do, if it weren’t for them, many fossils would simply go undiscovered because there aren’t that many fossil collecting operations的时候在医学类话题中还表示“手术”，考生通常会反应不过来，可以引起重视） that are run by universities and other scientific institutions. Isn’t it better for science to at least have more fossils being found even if we don’t have all the scientific data we’d like to have about their location and surroundings than it is to have many fossils go completely undiscovered?

按照以上挑选单词的方法，不管是在做TPO还是其他的综合写作练习，考生都能够从文段中总结出一些单词和短语作为记忆的内容。持之以恒下去，就算不去记忆专门的单词，对话题和单词的熟悉度也会有显著的提高。

三、准备模板

除了听懂和看懂材料外，如何行文是相当关键的部分。准备一套有特点的模板，是拔高分数的关键。这里朗阁海外考试研究中心的专家们提醒各位考生，模板的形成是非常有必要的，考生们可以自由选择或者混搭形成自己风格的模板，切勿照搬现有模板，改造模板才是出路。接下来，笔者示范一些模板的改造：

The reading passage explores the issue of… The professor’s lecture deals with the same issue. However, he/she thinks that…, which contradicts what the reading states. And in the lecture, he/she uses three specific points to support his/her idea.

以上模板稍显啰嗦，有凑字数嫌疑，许多考生都会照搬。如果我们稍作修改，则会简洁且具

有考生的个人风格，如：

The reading passage states the author’s opinion by… The professor concerns the same topic but delivers a controversial state, which is….

这样，就不会与其他考生的作文雷同。当然，考生一定不能把文章的重心放在模板上而忽视了对听力阅读材料的改写和重组。写作考试依旧重点考察考生的组织和表述能力。

 

第二篇：20xx.11.23托福独立写作范文+解析

2014.11.23托福独立写作范文+解析

2014-11-24 谢侃 Kevin英语课堂 文/谢侃（公众号: kevinenglishclass）

关于今天（2014.11.23）的托福考试，我只能说，ETS真是很懒，完全重复2014.4.27的考题。算是给我放假了，因为今天的独立写作我之前就已经写过了：工作和社交生活哪个一个对你的影响更大。范文水平不高，仅供参考

【题】Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Yourjob has more effect on your happiness than social life does.

题型分类：选择题

论证角度：原因挖掘

观点选择：让步

开头：跟社会生活相比，工作对我们幸福的影响更大。（话题引入+他人观点+明确立场+过渡）

It is one of human beings’ basic rights to be in pursuit of happiness. Among all factors that can affect our happiness, jobs and social life are the most talked about ones. Thus, an interesting discussion arises on which one of them on earth exerts more influence on our wellbeing. As far as I am concerned, jobs have more correlation with our happiness instead of social life. My reasons and examples are given below. (74words)

中间段1：工作能让人实现自我，充满有成就感。（主题句+说理论证+细节例子） Firstly, jobs make us feel valuable and fulfilled, which is an important reflection of happiness. It is because everyone is born to this world with a mission. Apart from rudimentary physical demands like eating and sleeping, we also need to seek the meaning of life, and working plays a critical role in helping us to find the answers, from which their happiness is derived. For example, Steve Jobs, as we all know, is a workaholic who almost devoted all the time to his career without much social life.

However, from his biography I can feel that it is his career that defined his happiness. (102 words)

中间段2：工作带来财富，而财富是幸福感的物质保证。（主题句+说理论证+细节例子） Secondly, jobs provide a stable income that is the material guarantee of happiness. We have to admit that happiness without the material foundation is not a real one. In other word, a happy life should be based on a decent financial strength that can be achieved through working hard. A good case in point is my uncle who built up a

renowned enterprise from scratch in my hometown. My uncle and his family now live in an extravagant villa and own a limousine, he supports my cousin to study overseas financially, andmy auntie appears stunning everyday by wearing expensive cosmetics and ornaments.It is money that brings them a sense of happiness. (113 words)

让步段：当然，社会生活对一个人幸福感的提升也有作用，比如我们可以经常和朋友在一起，交流思想，互帮互助。但是，社交生活的前提是物质得上得到保障，所以从这个意义上说，工作对我们的幸福的影响是根本性的。（承认漏洞+堵漏）

In some extent, it is true that social life can boost our wellbeing. For instance, one advantage of having a social life is to make our life more enriched and enjoyable because we can hang out with friends, exchange ideas or help each other. However, we cannot depend our wellbeing on others. Only by working can we feel a real and solid sense of happiness. (65words)

结尾：重申观点，归纳理由/升华主题

In conclusion, compared with social life, jobs play a more important role in influencing our wellbeing. They not only enable usto enjoy a sense of achievement, but also provide a stable source of finance that lays the groundwork for our wellbeing. (42 words)