中美家庭教育对比中英结合版

The Defferent of Family Education between

China and America

1st, emphasis is laid on family education. No matter which country you come from, what nationality you belong to all think the family is a person's first school, and the parent is the first teacher. Either China or Western countries, either the ancient times or the modern times, family education is always in the most fundamental position.

2nd, family education should be started since childhood, perform the duty promptly.

Family instruction of Yan said that,“ The parents should do the missionary work, when the infant is young. Judging from his facial expression, we know whether he is angry or happy, then give instructions.”[ “Family Instruction of Yan” , Zhitui Yan, Southern and Northern Dynasties] Because “it’s easy to concentrate a child’s attention. After he grows up, his attention is easily dispersed, so a child must be caught early.” Dewey also thought the family education should be executed early.

3rd, parents' unsuilable role division in education brings about some bad results. Either in China or in the West mother is almost described in many cultures as the main fosterer, and then father plays only

a part. The father is the main undertaker who teaches the child to know the rationality education. Mother is responsible for child's food and drink in daily life, the material guarantee, the emotional satisfaction and so on, is also the main undertaker of child’s emotional cultivation. Its result is that the child holds his father in awe and veneration and causes the poor relation between child and father, and thus affects child's perfect development.

5th, attach importance to teaching by personal example as well as verbal instruction.

The parents are child's models, usually a simple movement is more effective than the inculcation of ten thousand instructions. However, the traditional family education in China, on account of the respective differences in more aspects is different from that in the West . They have their own characteristics between regions andcultures.

To begin with, the tendency of education is different.

The Chinese parents lay emphasis on social enlightenment, ignore the growth of children. The Chinese parents take the social compatible enlightenment seriously, but often neglect the development of children's characteristics, they often train the children under established forms , and lay down the broad road for their growth.

中国和美国之间的家庭教育Defferent

第一,重点是放在家庭教育。

无论你来自哪个国家,你属于什么国籍,都认为家庭是一个人的第一所学校,和父母是第一任老师。无论是中国还是西方国家,无论是古代或近代,家庭教育始终是最根本的位置。

2,家庭教育应开始从小,及时履行职责。

家庭指令燕说,“父母应该做的宣教工作,当婴儿是年轻的。从他的面部表情来看,我们知道他是否是愤怒或快乐,然后给予说明。焉“[”家庭教学“,Zhitui燕,南北朝],因为”很容易集中孩子的注意力。他长大后,他的注意力很容易分散,所以孩子必须早期发现。“杜威也认为应执行早期的家庭教育。

第三,家长在教育unsuilable角色分工带来一些坏的结果。

无论在中国还是在西方的母亲几乎是描述在许多文化为主体的鼓励者,然后父亲只起到一部分。父亲是谁教孩子知道理性教育的主要承办单位。母亲是孩子的食物和饮料,在日常生活中的物质保证,情感上的满足等,也是孩子的情感培养的主要承担者。其结果是,孩子持有敬畏和崇拜他的父亲和导致贫困孩子和父亲之间的关系,从而影响孩子的完美发展。

5,重视教学,通过个人的例子,以及口头指令。

父母是孩子的模式,通常是一个简单的动作比近万指令的灌输更有效。 然而,在更多的方面各自的差异,在

中国传统的家庭教育是在西方的不同。他们有自己的特色区域和文化之间的

首先,教育的倾向是不同的。

中国家长强调注重社会教化,忽视对孩子的成长。中国家长的社会兼容的启蒙运动的重视,但往往忽视了儿童的特点的发展,他们往往根据设立形式培训的孩子,放下他们的成长的康庄大道。

The western parents provide the children a environment for growth resistant to them, and foster their tenacious individuality and the good conduct, and they choose their idea and way of cultivation according to the change of society and the characteristic of children physical and mental.

Secondly, the value of family education is different.

The function of China’s family education is forced by the China’s traditional culture. The Chinese traditional Confucian culture emphasize “the cultivation of one’s moral character, the running of one’s family, the administration of a state, the peace and security of the world”. In this directional thought, the family education is bestowed on the direct social significance. In addition, the Chinese traditional culture also regards the family education and children's individual growth as the direct correlative cau

ses and effects. The Chinese parents care about the reputation in educating the child, thinking educating the child to become a useful person is their achievement, but if not, the parents feel shameful. The education's goal is for earning their living, for honor.

The western family education is different from china in the educational goal. Education is not the preparation for earning their living, but for survival. “The learned education” they emphasize has the value of molding one’s mind, one kind of value which has nothing to do with the utility or the occupation consideration.

In fact, Western family does not make the comparison painstakingly, but the Chinese family’s comparison has brought about a serious problem: Competing

Thirdly, the view of who is the main body of the family and the reciprocity of education are different.

The Chinese traditional family culture is following the dominant pattern, displays the family’s internal authority consciousness. It emphasis obedience and respects, takes the external control serious. The chief educator is parents in china’s traditional culture. The Chinese parents' guardian-consciousness is extremely intense. They regard the child as their own private property, regard him as their accessory. Therefore, the parents think highly of shaping the child unlaterally, affects the child's individualit

y construction. They pay attention to their own image, has neglected the child and adult's interaction, its process and comprehensiveness, so it causes the child to be in the passive position, disregard of the child's individual existence.

The western parents think of the child as an equal member in the family, respect the child's personality and dignity, can let the child think independently and choose freely. They respect the child's right, do not do the compulsory education. They respect the child's self-respect, advocate child's instinct development, and the natural development. Parents' responsibility only lies in discovering and guiding the child's interests and potential ties, creating the advantageous environment for the child, paying attention the communication with the child, and the educational reciprocity. In the western home education, the parents are not child's dominations, but his friends.

Fourthly, the focal point of education is different.

What the China’s traditional culture grasps is life and morals, so the Chinese value life and the human relations extremely. Therefore, the Chinese parents have regarded the morals as the highest value orientation in the education. Especially, in the Chinese mind, “the good child” is a child w

ho is obedient and sensible at first, aims at the community, liked at first sight. In that case, the guardian trains the child to practice the moral culture, cultivates mental poise, self-restraining, emphasizes reservation, and the idea of social rank. The main connotation of Chinese family education is “the mercy, righteousness, the ritual, the wisdom, the honesty, loyalty, forgiveness”, and the Chinese child was taught by historical story, ethics, loyalty, filial piety and integrity when he was young. The child was influenced by the ice-cold moral law and the rules and regulations, and studied 3-character classic and Younger brother Cuckoo since childhood.

Yet, what the western culture grasps is knowledge, the family mainly arouses the child’s the curiosity about and the imagination of nature. As we all know knowledge creation comes from curiosity. So parents by making children interested in the nature and fairy stories, let the children have a broader imagination space, so as to help the knowledge creation. In addition, they regard the psychological development as the highest direction, so the cultivation of child's interest and the creativity is the main point of Western family education.

een family and the individual.

The China’s traditional culture takes the family as the focus, pays great attention to individual responsibility and duty. This is performed in the value orientation: (1) family education function is strengthened. I

n the Chinese tradition of society, family shoulders many kinds of social functions. It has the bright characteristics of building the country and family with concerted efforts. But the children education is a part of family life's extension, so the home education's vital role also lies in achieving the goal“the family education is lasting”. It is a tool with which the positions of family and social politics are maintained and developed family culture is presented and carried forward. (2) Education takes family benefit as the main value orientation. “Bring honor to ancestors”, “the illustrious family status” are scholar's goal to pursue . The personal interest and the family benefit are merging into one organic whole. It is closely related to “the view of immotality” of Chinese traditional culture.

The western culture takes individual as a focus paying great attention to individual freedom and right. And in education, the westerners’ place the educated in prominent status, with the emphasis of the cultivation of individuality. The Individuals standard and family transforms are closely correlative. This educational tradition was established, which experienced “Renaissance movements” from the 14th to the 16th centuries, “Franch bourgeois ideology Enlightenment” in the 18th century as well as the “ideological trends” and so on at the beginning of 20th century. Then, Rousseau initiated the natural and free education. Dewey proposed that education is growth, education is life, individual is the main body who grasps his own experience construction. But the individual standard is not eq

ual to individualism, does not equate itself to taking the child as the center. The family needs the individual of rich individuality, who can tame himself, control himself, surpass himself, a modern man with perfect moral quality, stead of a selfish and dependent utilitaria

Sixthly, the cultivation of independent consciousness is different.

The Chinese guardians think the value of education is studying for entering a higher school, they only ask the child to study attentively, without bothering about other things. So the children’s consciousness of all-round development is faint. So the child has no opportunity to develop and enhance his qualities in many aspects. The Chinese parents place their hopes on the children, the sense of responsibility for education is nding of guardian role, the replacements the development direction. Therefore, the child becomes all dependent individual, lacks independent character. It causes the child to be able to do nothing but knowledge study. The meticulous concern, helps to form the habit of relying on others. So when facing the storm, he is unable to do anything. Being unable to get the help, he will blame everyone and everything but himself.

The western parents pay great attention

to raising children's independent consciousness since childhood. In the Western family, you may see the child addresses his visit relatives and friend by name, bolds expresses his own opinion, participates in family discussion as adults do. He solves some problems all by himself. The parents do not reprove the child casually. They leave the child an opportunity of undergoing a process of tempering. All this enables the child to dare to rush, dare to do, dare to take a risk, dare to display himself. Let the child learn how to make a living since childhood, have the strong physique,the quality of bearing hardships and standing hard work, and good psychological quality, thus moves towards life with perfect composure. Such independent individuality causes the child to pay great attention to individual ability and the struggle when he moves towards the society.

Seventhly, the difference in emotional education and corporal punishment

Why family education is different from school education? An important characteristic is that family education is love education. However, maybe he Chinese traditional culture emphasizes “reserve”, the Chinese family is not good at expressing love, and the emotional education is very weak. The communication between Chinese parents and the child is characteristic of China. And in the Chinese family , such characters as “no”, “cannot”, “won’t do”, “do not ”appear repeatedly, the Chinese collective education is accustomed to saying to the child “should” besides using the negative ter

m to instruct the child's behavior. This is the manifeslation of guardian authoritative colouring. Such raw and cold order phrases cause the emotional education to be blocked. But “one can not become a useful person without being beaten”, “the club helps the child to be loyal son” bring about the difficulty in strengthening the emotional education.

According to the investigation, in the Western family, parents show their appreciation to the children by using the encouraging language. The western parents pay great attention to individual quality and the emotional communication. The family lays emphasis on the construction and the cultivation of emotion. They can vacate their time to talk with the child, listen attentively to the child's aspirations, and emphasize heart to heart communication. In Western countries, the corporal punishment also offends the law. Moreover, the Western parents are very happy praising their own child in front of others, they think that this may raise child's self-confidence. But the Chinese modest attitude causes the guardian not to be glad to do this, because they think that it can cause the child to be arrogant, they like nitpicking and strengthening child's weakness.

Eighthly, education method is different.

The Chinese traditional education method is a type of education in, which people repeat what the book says and imbue the child with it. It emphasizes mechanical me

morizing. That is to say, the child receives the study. There is an ancient proverb. If the book is read hundreds of times, its meaning is shown naturally”. Zhu Xi also said “read frequently then read again, if you can’t recite, until you can”. Therefore, the Chinese guardians most like seeing the child sit in front of the desk, either reciting with his head wagging, or bending over the desk doing exercises. The eyes do not leave the books; the hands do not leave the books. “Dig into books of saints oblivious of what is happening outside”. Load the stomach with ancient's knowledge and sage's experience without knowing whether they can be digested or not.

The west emphasizes the child’s “power of understanding”. They like letting the child practise by himself, going to the nature, seeking the knowledge from life. Their study resides in many kinds of forms. The western family has the special cooking class, the hardwork class and the playroom. They do not think that play and study are conflicting with each other, and encourage the child to study outside, pay great attention to the child’s ability to ponder. The parents usually lead the child in seeking the nature’s mystery, help them know about the society. They carry out Dewey’s “education is life”, “school is society”. They encourage the child to go to the library, the museum to read the books he is interested in, and participate in the social practice.

About fight, Chinese parents and teachers are act as “ pacificator”, “judge”, Americ

an parents and the teachers are act as “teacher”. The thought of dealing with fightst in Chinese families, is based on the Confucianist idea of “frendly and farmonious relations are valued ”; That the American guardians may stand by, or “instigate” the child “to fight back”, is based on the ideal of maintaining the personal interest prominently, achieving and safeguarding individual rights and interests from any injuries ; China's family thinks it's all right if one stops to compromise, so beg as there's peace. The American thinks only individual rights and interests are protected and respected, then there will be the harmony in society and equality of each person.[ “the Difficult Problem of Child's Education,” XiaoFeng, People's Military Doctor Publishing House, June 25th,2004]

Next, education in managing money matters is different.

The Chinese gentleman does not care about fame and fortune. fixed the thinking type of being loyal to others causes the Chinese parents simply to not have the idea of financial transaction. In China, earning money to support one's family and managing the wealth are adult's matter. When having no money they can ask the parents for some. Even if after getting married, they can also do this. The Chinese parents always render economic assistance gratis to the children, and try every means to satisfy the children with the money, and indulge the child's excessive consuming desire.

In the West, especially in US, the educati

on of financial transaction is one of the family educational branches. Therefore, the Western parents extremely focus this. They do not supply the money for the child regularly, but issue the child a fixed fund regularly. And they help the child to set up the correct consciousness of managing finances, foster a good habit of managing money matters, besides these, they also pay great attention to raising basic quality of managing money matters. The western parents teach the child to make plans for budget items, learn to spend money reasonably; They encourage the child to work outside to gain income by themselves; They educate the child to store up the wealth, not to spend money freely; They help the child learn to donate, help other people; They educate the child to be honest, have the self-respect facing money; They tell the child saving money is a virtue; And they teach the child to hold the opportunity of managing money matters and make the correct decision, and be ready to serve others.

Lastly, religious thought and scientific education

Although the Chinese culture begins with religion, we emphasize the scientific nature in education. The People's Republic of China’s compulsory Educational law stipulates explicitly that, education and religion must be separated.

The western religious tradition still retains the formidable influence even in modern times. It permeats through each aspect o

f educational activities. It not only has the strong religious coloring, but also it entrusts Western education with the internal spiritual value. Because of this, the western missionary schools have had a great vogue. The parents also focus this spiritual belief religious very much in the home education. For example, they must thank God before eating, when doing anything, they must judge from the God's standard, and every weekend, all members of the family must go to the church to make the Mass, so as to, maintain the pure land of mind forever. Therefore, this intense religious idea often causes some educationalists to think religion education may be in harmony with each other.

From what has been discussed above, we may see that either the Chinese tradition of family education or that of the Western family education tradition has its own strong points, they all take root in respective traditional cultural soil. At present, the undesirable phenomenon we meet in the family education lies mainly in the incorrect teaching method.[ /dispbbs.asp?boardid=22&ID=1326]

Therefore, in my opinion, on the one hand, we need inherit and develop the fine educational tradition of ancient China, on the other hand, we need derive the essence from Western family education, and promote the reform family education characteristic of China. So Chinese family education should be adjusted reasonably, it mainly include the following 4 aspects:

(1) First of all, family educational idea should be modernized, we should reject obsolete educational idea, keep pace with the times. The modern home education content and method in modern family education need science, and educational method needs modernization. Establish modern family educational mechanism, make family educational management standardized. Establish family educational service system, lay down the institution for ensuring the implement of measures.

(2) Establish guardian's concept of law in education, and solve the problem of the parent's doing educational work in accordance with the law; Enhance family educational consciousness of democracy, respect child, equal communication, change the set of bad style of educating the child in an oversimplified and crude way or in concisemeasure or even in corporal punishment;

(3) Set up the new family educational idea, take “teach the child to live straight” as the most important of family education; Make use of the advantage of love education, develop personalization education, develop child’s individuality, and raise different kinds of useful talent for the country;Adopt the scientific method of encouragement, guidance, and tolerance, develop the patient education, enhance the child’s self-respect, the self-confidence and the desire to do better unceasingly;

(4)Follow closely development of the knowledge economy and the information age, further open up the family educational mentality, enhance opening consciousness, enhance the family educational compatibility; Solve the education tendency - “regard wisdom and belittle morality”, promote organic synthesis between intelligence factors and the non-intelligence factors, and educate the child to learn to study and seek knowledge; Inherit Chinese outstanding family educational tradition. Meanwhile the child must also face the world, absorb and introduce the quintessence foreign ideology and culture, and carry out the communication between Eastern and Western family education.

【Conclusion 】 All in all, there are many differences between China and Western family education and each has its strong points and weak points. We should reject the dross and absorb the cream of them, advance the family educational modernization instantaneously.

1、教育倾向不同。

中国父母重社会教化,轻儿童成长。中国父母十分重视社会适应性的教化,但却常常忽视了从孩子达到身心发展的特点出发来促进其成长,他们往往按照既定的模式来培养子女,为他们的成长铺设康庄大道,外铄各种品行于子女。

西方父母更重视为子女提供一个可以与之抗争的成长环境,并养成他们坚韧的个性和良好的品行,根据社会的变化和子女身心的特征不断的调节、选择自己的培养观念和方式。 2、家庭教育价值观不同

中国家庭教育职能是为中国传统文化所强迫,

传统中国几千年的儒家文化强调“修身、齐家、治国、平天下”。在此家国同构的思维定向中,家庭教育被赋以直接的社会意义。此外,中国传统的文化又将父母教育跟子女的个体成长与成就看作是直接相关的因果。中国父母十分看重人们对他们的教子方面作出的誉毁,认为教子成材是他们的成就,而教子不善则脸面无光。教育的目的是为了谋生,为了脸面。

西方家庭教育则认为教育的目的不是准备谋生,而是准备生存。他们所强调的“博雅教育”是具有一种塑造心智的价值,一种与功利的或职业的考虑无关的价值。

3、家庭主体观与教育的相互性不同

中国传统的家庭文化因袭着统治的模式,表现为家庭内部的权威意识。强调服从和尊重,重视外部控制。在中国的传统文化中,家庭的主要教育者是父母。中国父母的家长意识十分强烈。他们把孩子视为自己的独有私人财产,看作是他们的附属物。因此十分看重他们单方面的塑造,影响孩子的个性建构。他们注意到自身的形象,忽视了孩子与成人的相互作用,忽视了相互影响的过程和全面性,使幼儿处于被动地位,无视幼儿个体的存在。 西方文明是以儿童为主体的,更强调个人的奋斗,强调平等、民主并尊重个人权利。西方父母把孩子视为家庭中的平等成员,尊重孩子的人格和尊严,能让孩子独立思考,自由选择。他们尊重孩子的权利,不搞强迫教育。尊重孩子的自尊,主张孩子的天性发展,自然发展。父母的责任只在于发现并引导孩子的兴趣和潜能。为孩子创造有利的环境,重视与孩子的交流,重视教育的相互性。西方家庭教育中父母不是孩子的主宰,而是孩子的朋友。

4、教育的重心不同 5、家庭本位与个人本位

中国传统文化是以家庭为本位的,注重个人的职责与义务。这在加以价值取向上呈现出如下特点:(1)家庭的教育功能强化。在中国传统社会,家庭肩负多种的社会职能。其具有家国同构的鲜明

特性。而子女教育是家庭生命延续的一部分,因此家庭教育的重要作用还在于达到“家教持久”的目的。它是维持发展家庭社会政治地位,保存弘扬家庭文化的重要工具。(2)教育以家庭利益为主要价值取向。“光宗耀祖”、“光耀门第”是读书人的追求与目标。个人利益与家庭利益是融为一体的。这与中国传统文化的“永生观”紧密相关。

西方文化以个人为本位,注重个人的自由和权利。在教育上表现为将受教育者放在突出地位,强调个性的培养。个人本位与西方的家庭变革密切相关。这种教育传统历经14至16世纪的文艺复兴运动,18世纪的法国资产阶级思想启蒙运动以及20世纪初的实用主义等思潮而确定下来。卢梭倡导自然和自由的教育。杜威提出教育即生长,教育即生活,个人是掌握自身经验建构的主体。但是个体本位并不等于个人主义,更不等同于以孩子为中心,家庭呼唤有丰富个性的个人,是能驾御自我,控制自我,超越自我的,拥有完美人格和健全个性的真正现代意义上的现代个人,而不是自私自利,依赖性强的功利化的个人。 6、独立意识的培养

7、情感教育与体罚

8、教育方法的不同

中国传统的教育方法是照本宣科的灌输式教育,强调死记硬背。孩子们是接受学习。古谚之“书读百遍,其意自现”。朱熹也说“读书记遍数,足而未诵再读,虚而已诵至满”。因此中国家长最喜欢看到孩子坐在书桌前,或摇头晃脑地背诵,或趴在书桌上演习。眼睛不离书本,手不离书本。“两耳不闻窗外事,一心只读圣贤书”。把古人的知识,圣人的经验,一股脑的装进肚,而消化不消化则不闻不问。 西方更强调孩子的“悟”。他们喜欢让孩子亲身厉行,去大自然中,去生活中探求知识。他们寓学习于多种形式。西方家庭有专门的烹饪课、手工课和游戏室。他们不认为玩和学习是对立的,更鼓励孩子出去学习,更注重孩子会思考。家长会主动带孩子去探求大自然的奥秘,去认识社会,他们奉行杜

威的“教育即生活”,“学校即社会”。他们鼓励孩子去图书馆、博物馆阅读自己感兴趣的书籍,并参加社会实践。

孩子在成长过程中,打架不可避免。中国和外国的家庭对待打架的态度截然不同。 如果孩子打了架,中国的父母,首先会赶快制止,因为中国家庭和中国的教育认为“打架不是好孩子”。家长看到自己的孩子被打,或是孩子被打伤,在打架现场,肇事孩子的双方父母就会身不由己地“参战”。因为,家长教育孩子的底线是“容忍是有限度的”,“挨打,打不过对方,有失尊严,是一种无能的表现,将来如何在社会立足?”事后,被打孩子的家长往往会找到学校,去评理,去要求老师严厉惩处打人的孩子。打人一方的家长,或者说打架占了便宜的一方,往往沾沾自喜,偷偷在家里表扬孩子,因为他的孩子没吃亏,有些家长就是这样公然教唆孩子的。中国的家长多数怕自己孩子吃亏,也有怕打坏别人的。像申先生的父母那样,明明知道那所学校是个“火坑”,反而偏偏把孩子往那里送,让孩子挨打受罪,这简直不可思议。

美国的家长看到孩子打架,会在一旁袖手旁观。我的朋友在美国工作,移居加拿大,他的孩子也曾挨了打,他对孩子说:“挨打了?打他!”我朋友回来探家,谈起孩子打架的事情,他说:“你应该这样教育孩子:谁打了你,你就打谁。”“这不成了打群架、教唆犯了吗?不行,绝对不行。”我表示了强烈的反对。西方国家的老师遇到孩子打架,也常常在一旁仔细观察,除了有危险,一般不加制止。事后,才找学生谈话,分析打架的得失利弊。如果孩子打了架,只要事后跟老师汇报了,就算完了。如果打架后没有汇报,即使挨了打,有理,也要受到老师的批评和惩罚。

对于孩子打架,中国的家长和老师认为打架是一场武力争斗,担心自己的孩子或是他人的孩子受到伤害,美国的家长和老师认为打架,打个痛快,只要不出事,它是锻炼孩子依靠自己的力量,培养将来面对复杂社会事物能力的一种机会;中国的家

长和老师是作为仲裁者、“法官”的姿态出现;美国的家长和教师则作为“导师”的姿态出现,中国家庭处理孩子打架的思想基于数千年来孔子的“和为贵”的儒家理念;美国家长或是袖手旁观,或是“教唆”孩子“返打”,是基于突出维护个人利益,争得和保障个人的权益不能受到任何伤害的观点;中国的家庭认为为求和,即使自己委曲也要求全,美国人认为只有个人的权益得到保护和尊重,社会才能和谐,人人才能平等。 9、理财教育

中国人的君子作风是淡泊名利。“君子喻于义,小人喻于利”的思维定式使中国父母根本没有理财教育的观念。在中国,挣钱养家和管理钱财是大人的事,孩子离这些还很远。他们没钱时便伸手向父母要。即使是成家立业后还是可以的。中国父母总是无偿的向子女提供钱财,一味无条件的满足子女的花钱要求,放纵孩子过分的消费欲望。 在西方,特别是美国,理财教育是家庭教育的一个分支。因此对此十分重视。西方父母一般不会不正规、无计划的给孩子钱,而是定期发给孩子一份固定基金。并帮助孩子树立正确的理财意识,养成良好的理财习惯,还注重对金钱的基本品质的培养。西方父母教孩子制定预算计划,学会合理的花钱;鼓励孩子出外打工,靠自己的劳动获取收入;教育孩子储存钱财,不乱挥霍;帮助孩子学会捐赠,帮助他人;教育孩子在金钱面前应当诚实,金钱面前要有自尊;简朴节约是美德;正确决策把握理财机遇,乐于为别人服务。

综上所述,我们可以看出中西家庭教育传统各有千秋,他们都是扎根于各自的传统文化土壤中的。我们当前遇到的家庭教育中的不良现象有很大一部分是由于具体教法的不妥而造成的。 因此,我们要一方面继承和发扬中国古代家庭教育的优良传统,另一方面汲取西方家教的精华,促进有中国特色的家庭教育的改革。在吸取我国优秀民族文化的基础上,将现代科学育人知识和方法,大力普及到千家万户,转变家长的观念,提高家长的自身素质。

在这里我有几点建议,主要包含4个方面:(1)首先是家庭教育观念的现代化,摒弃陈旧教育观

念,与时俱进,跟上时代发展步伐。现代家庭教育的内容和方法科学化,以及教育手段的现代化。建立现代家庭教育的机制,实现家庭教育管理的规范化。建立家庭教育的服务体系,做到保障措施制度化。

(2)确立家长在教育行为中的法制观念,解决好家庭教育中依法治教的问题;增强家庭教育的民主意识,尊重孩子,平等沟通,改变简单粗暴、压制体罚等不良作风;

(3)树立新的家庭教育理念,把“教子做人”作为家庭教育的重中之重;利用亲情教育的优势,开展个性化教育,发展孩子个性,为国家培养各种有用之才;采取鼓励、引导、宽容的科学方法,耐心教育,不断提高孩子自尊心、自信心和上进心; (4)紧跟知识经济和信息时代的发展,进一步拓宽家庭教育思路,增强开放意识,提高家庭教育的适应性;重视和解决“重智轻德”的教育倾向,促进智力因素与非智力因素教育的有机结合,教育孩子学会学习和求知;继承中华民族优秀家教传统同时,也要面向世界,吸收引进外国思想文化精品,开展东西方家庭教育的交流。

【总结】 总之,中国的家庭教育和西方家庭教育有很大差异,各有优劣,我们应该祛除糟粕,取其精华。不失时机地推进家庭教育现代化,使教育世界化,各自取长补短,共同发展。

Yet, what the western culture grasps is knowledge, the family mainly arouses the child’s the curiosity about and the imagination of nature. As we all know knowledge creation comes from curiosity. So parents by making children interested in the nature and fairy stories, let the children have a broader imagination space, so as to help the knowledge creation. In addition, they regard the psychological development as the highest direction, so the cultivation of child's interest and the creativity is the main point of Western family education.

Fifthly, the difference in proportion between family and the individual.

The China’s traditional culture takes the family as the focus, pays great attention to individual responsibility and duty. This is performed in the value orientation: (1) family education function is strengthened. In the Chinese tradition of society, family shoulders many kinds of social functions. It has the bright characteristics of building the country and family with concerted efforts. But the children education is a part of family life's extension, so the home education's vital role also lies in achieving the goal“the family education is lasting”. It is a tool with which the positions of family and social politics are maintained and developed family culture is presented and carried forward. (2) Education takes family benefit as the main value orientation. “Bring honor to ancestors”, “the illustrious family status” are scholar's goal to pursue . The personal interest and the family benefit are merging into one organic whole. It is closely related to “the view of immotality” of Chinese traditional culture.

The western culture takes individual as a focus paying great attention to individual freedom and right. And in education, the westerners’ place the educated in prominent status, with the emphasis of the cultivation of individuality. The Individuals standard and family transforms are closely correlative. This educational tradition was established, which experienced “Renaissance movements” from the 14th to the 16th centuries, “Franch bourgeois ideology Enlightenment” in the 18th century as well as the “ideological trends” and so on at the beginning of 20th century. Then, Rousseau initiated the natural and free education. Dewey proposed that education is growth, education is life, individual is the main body who grasps his own experience construction. But the individual standard is not equal to individualism, does not equate itself to taking the child as the center. The

family needs the individual of rich individuality, who can tame himself, control himself, surpass himself, a modern man with perfect moral quality, healthy individuality . Instead of a selfish and dependent utilitarian.

Sixthly, the cultivation of independent consciousness is different.

The Chinese guardians think the value of education is studying for entering a higher school, they only ask the child to study attentively, without bothering about other things. So the childern’s consciousness of all-round development is faint. So the child has no opportunity to develop and enhance his qualities in many aspect. The Chinese parents place their hopes on the child, the sense of responsibility for education is overloaded. The unsuitable extending of guardian role, the replacements of the child to arrange everything in daily life, to stipulate the study content. and to settle the development direction. Therefore, the child becomes all dependent individual, lacks independent character. It causes the child to be able to do nothing but knowledge study. The meticulous concern, helps to form the habit of relying on others. So when facing the storm, he is unable to do anything. Being unable to get the help, he will blame everyone and everything but himself.

The western parents pay great attention to raising children's independent consciousness since childhood. In the Western family, you may see the child addresses his visit relatives and friend by name, bolds expresses his own opinion, participates in family discussion as adults do. He solves some problems all by himself. The parents do not reprove the child casually. They leave the child an opportunity of undergoing a process of tempering. All this enables

the child to dare to rush, dare to do, dare to take a risk, dare to display himself. Let the child learn how to make a living since childhood, have the strong physique,the quality of bearing hardships and standing hard work, and good psychological quality, thus moves towards life with perfect composure. Such independent individuality causes the child to pay great attention to individual ability and the struggle when he moves towards the society.Seventhly, the difference in emotional education and corporal punishment.

Why family education is different from school education? An important characteristic is that family education is love education. However, maybe the Chinese traditional culture emphasizes “reserve”, the Chinese family is not good at expressing love, and the emotional education is very weak. The communication between Chinese parents and the child is characteristic of China. And in the Chinese family , such characters as “no”, “cannot”, “won’t do”, “do not ”appear repeatedly, the Chinese collective education is accustomed to saying to the child “should” besides using the negative term to instruct the child's behavior. This is the manifeslation of guardian authoritative colouring. Such raw and cold order phrases cause the emotional education to be blocked. But “one can not become a useful person without being beaten”, “the club helps the child to be loyal son” bring about the difficulty in strengthening the emotional educaton.

According to the investigation, in the Western family, parents show the their appreciation to the children by using the encouraging language. The western parents pay great attention to individual quality and the emotional communication. The family lays emphasis on the construction and the cultivation of emotion. They can vacate their time to talk with the child, lis

ten attentively to the child's aspirations, and emphasize heart to heart communication. In Western countries, the corporal punishment also offends the law. Moreover, the Western parents are very happy praising their own child in front of others, they think that this may raise child's self-confidence. But the Chinese modest attitude causes the guardian not to be glad to do this, because they think that it can cause the child to be arrogant, they like nitpicking and strengthening child's weakness.

Eighthly, education method is different.

The Chinese traditional education method is a type of education in, which people repeat what the book says and imbue the child with it. It emphasizes mechanical memorizing. That is to say, the child receives the study. There is an ancient proverb. If the book is read hundreds of times, its meaning is shown naturally”. Zhu Xi also said “read frequently then read again, if you can’t recite, until you can”. Therefore, the Chinese guardians most like seeing the child sit in front of the desk, either reciting with his head wagging, or bending over the desk doing exercises. The eyes do not leave the books; the hands do not leave the books. “Dig into books of saints oblivious of what is happening outside”. Load the stomach with ancient's knowledge and sage's experience without knowing whether they can be digested or not.

The west emphasizes the child’s “power of understanding”. They like letting the child practise by himself, going to the nature, seeking the knowledge from life. Their study resides in many kinds of forms. The western family has the special cooking class, the hardwork class and the playroom. They do not think that play and study are conflicting with each other, and

encourage the child to study outside, pay great attention to the child’s ability to ponder. The parents usually lead the child in seeking the nature’s mystery, help them know about the society. They carry out Dewey’s “education is life”, “school is society”. They encourage the child to go to the library, the museum to read the books he is interested in, and participate in the social practice.

In addition, the western family education differs from china's in many aspects. From instance, Some time ago, there was a program from“Shi hua Shi shuo” of CCTV about family education. A South Korean youth, named Shen **, and his mother were invited to the scene of the program, talking about his life in America. During the talk, we know, his parents sent him to an American military academy to study. There were many “the question students” in that school. Mr. Shen said that when he just arrived there, he was looked down upon and beaten frequently with no reasons by strangers. Therefore, he and his schoolmates fought with each other frequently, the fiercest of all was that his bridge of the nose was broken 13 Times. The Chinese audience present all felt astonished, some one asked his mother, “Why did you send the child to such a school to study?” His mother said, the child had to be tempered.

Of course, when the child is growing, fight is inevitable. The Chinese and the foreign families’ attitude towards it is entirely different. If the child fight, Chinese parents will stop it at once, because the Chinese family and the Chinese education think that “a good child will not fight”. If the parents see that their own child is beaten, or injured. At the scene of fighting, the child's parents will take part in the “war” involuntary. Because, the parents educate the child “the tolerance has the limitation”, “fi

ght with others, if he fails in fighting he will lose the dignity, it is a kind of incompetent performance, showing he won't have a foothold in the society in the future?” Afterwards, the parents, whose child was beaten, often go to the school to have it out and ask the teacher to punish the child who beats their child. However, the parents, whose child beats others or you can say, wins others, are often pleased and praise the child secretly at home, because his child had not suffered a loss, some parents instigated the child to the action openly like this. Most of Chinese parents fear their own child will suffer losses, and also fear hurting others. However some parents like Mr. Shen’s parents, they knew obviously that the school is “a fiery pit”, and still sent the child there, letting the child get beaten. It is simply inconceivable.[ “Mother's Management Art”, Sunqing, Chongqing Publishing House, May 1st,2005, P32]

When American parents see the child fight, they will stand by. My younger uncle works in US. His child once came under attack, he said to the child: “Came under attack? Hit him!” Once my younger uncle returned to visit the family, and mentioned the matter about the child's fights, he said: “You should educate the child like this: “Who hits you, you will hit him.” “Can you instigate the child to mass fighting? Absolutely, that won’t do!” I expressed the intense opposition.

When the child is fighting, the Western teacher will also stand by, observing carefully and they do not stop usually unless there is the danger. Afterwards, they will talk with students, and analyse the gains and losses of fighting. If the student fight, so long as he reports to the teacher afterwards, this is OK, if not, even if he comes under attack, and is reasonable,

he will also receive teacher's criticism and the penalty.

About fight, Chinese parents and teachers are act as “ pacificator”, “judge”, American parents and the teachers are act as “teacher”. The thought of dealing with fightst in Chinese families, is based on the Confucianist idea of “frendly and farmonious relations are valued ”; That the American guardians may stand by, or “instigate” the child “to fight back”, is based on the ideal of maintaining the personal interest prominently, achieving and safeguarding individual rights and interests from any injuries ; China's family thinks it's all right if one stops to compromise, so beg as there's peace. The American thinks only individual rights and interests are protected and respected, then there will be the harmony in society and equality of each person.[ “the Difficult Problem of Child's Education,” XiaoFeng, People's Military Doctor Publishing House, June 25th,2004] Next, education in managing money matters is different.

The Chinese gentleman does not care about fame and fortune. fixed the thinking type of being loyal to others causes the Chinese parents simply to not have the idea of financial transaction. In China, earning money to support one's family and managing the wealth are adult's matter. When having no money they can ask the parents for some. Even if after getting married, they can also do this. The Chinese parents always render economic assistance gratis to the children, and try every means to satisfy the children with the money, and indulge the child's excessive consuming desire.

In the West, especially in US, the education of financial transaction is one of the family educational branches. Therefore, the Western p

arents extremely focus this. They do not supply the money for the child regularly, but issue the child a fixed fund regularly. And they help the child to set up the correct consciousness of managing finances, foster a good habit of managing money matters, besides these, they also pay great attention to raising basic quality of managing money matters. The western parents teach the child to make plans for budget items, learn to spend money reasonably; They encourage the child to work outside to gain income by themselves; They educate the child to store up the wealth, not to spend money freely; They help the child learn to donate, help other people; They educate the child to be honest, have the self-respect facing money; They tell the child saving money is a virtue; And they teach the child to hold the opportunity of managing money matters and make the correct decision, and be ready to serve others. Lastly, religious thought and scientific education

Although the Chinese culture begins with religion, we emphasize the scientific nature in education. The People's Republic of China’s compulsory Educational law stipulates explicitly that, education and religion must be separated.

The western religious tradition still retains the formidable influence even in modern times. It permeats through each aspect of educational activities. It not only has the strong religious coloring, but also it entrusts Western education with the internal spiritual value. Because of this, the western missionary schools have had a great vogue. The parents also focus this spiritual belief religious very much in the home education. For example, they must thank God before eating, when doing anything, they must judge from the God's standard, and every weekend, all members of the family must go to the church to make the Mass, so as to,

maintain the pure land of mind forever. Therefore, this intense religious idea often causes some educationalists to think religion education may be in harmony with each other.

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