6 Sentences You Should Never Tell Your Good Friends 不能对好朋友说的6句话

1.―Let me just check my cell phone‖

“我看看电话”

Cell phones ruin many relationships and friendships. If you are always

checking your phone, your friend may get the signal that he or she is not worth your time. Give your friend your full attention while you are together — switch off your phone!

电话能是感情破裂、友尽。如果你总是玩手机，你的朋友就会觉得他自己是在占用你的时间。给你的朋友足够的注意，你们在一起的时候---关掉电话。

2.―I can’t tell you – it’s private‖

“我不能告诉你---这是个人隐私”

Telling your good friend this means that you do not trust them enough with confidential information. True friendship is about sharing our real selves and that will include private stuff. Start something confidential with ―I know I can trust you with this.‖

对朋友说这句话就说明你对他还不够信任。真正的好朋友就是来分享我们的秘密的，当然也包括我们的隐私。从说“我知道我能相信你”开始吧。

3.―I never have enough time‖

“我时间不够了”

In ancient times, friendship was such a high calling and a privilege that it was often more valued than marriage. Time is an essential ingredient in nurturing friendships. Telling a good friend you have not enough time is a real turn off. Try saying, ―I’ll always have enough time for you.‖

在古代，友谊是一种高于婚姻只有少数人才能拥有的。时间是维系友谊最基本的。对你的朋友说你没有时间就是一种拒绝。试着说，“对你一直都有时间。”

4.―I am going to be late‖

“我会迟到”

This shouldn’t sound like a chronic condition. A lack of punctuality can mean missed restaurant bookings or walking into a film that has already started. If you are unpunctual, it might be time to start getting more organized. You should say, ―I really am going to get my unpunctuality under control.‖

这听起来不应该是长期问题。不准时也就意味着要错过订餐或者看电影。如果你不准时，那就是该学着更有安排。你应该说，“我真的会改改不准时的毛病。”

5.―You could have asked me for advice or help‖

“你本可以找我帮忙的”

The truth is that good friends know when to be there and when to lend a shoulder to cry on. You should not need to be asked or told. You should say, ―You know that I am always around, if you need help with anything.‖

好朋友就知道到什么时候在你身边，什么时候借个肩膀给你依靠。根本不必言说。你应该说，“你知道的只要你需要帮助，我一直都在。”

6.―I told Y all about your problems‖

“我把你的问题告诉了某某”

Gossip and betrayal will damage a friendship irrevocably. A true test of

friendship is communicating fully with each other. You can rely on each other

not to gossip and this adds a great sense of security and serenity to your friendship. With a good friend, ―You can trust me, I won’t tell anyone else.‖ 八卦和背叛都会让友谊陷入万劫不复之地。经过考验的友谊就是你们之间有足够的交流。你们可以彼此依赖不互相八卦，这样会给彼此一种安全感，祥和感。好朋友之间，“你可以相信我，我不会告诉别人。”

 

第二篇：不要对别人说的6句话

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不要对别人说的6句话

You have just said something wrong. The other person is looking at you with a red angry face, but the issue is not about what you‘ve said, it‘s about what they‘ve heard.

你说错话了，对方正怒火中烧的看着你，往往这类问题的关键不是在于你说了什么，而是他们听到的东西。

There are some sentences that act like deadly silent ninjas, killing self-confidence and antagonizing your friends, family and colleagues—the worst thing is that you might not even realize it.

下面这几句话可以看成是致命的沉默忍者，抹杀自信，敌对朋友，家人和同事——最糟糕的的就是你甚至都意识不到。

Here are 6 things you should never say to someone:

下面这六句话你千万不要对别人说：

1. ―I don‘t care‖

―我无所谓‖

What they hear: ―Leave me alone. I have better things to do than listen to you.‖ 他们听到的是：―别管我，我懒得听你们说，我有更好的事情去做。‖

Explain why you would love to hear about that subject, and why ―right now‖ is not the best time for you. Everybody matters. Not caring about someone is denying their existence: If people matter for you, you will matter for them.

解释一下你对这些其实很感兴趣，只是现在不是最好的时机去倾听。每个人都很重要。不关心别人就是忽视他们的存在感，如果别人在意你，你也需要在意他们。

2. ―You‘re wrong‖

―你错了‖

What they hear: ―You are stupid. You know nothing. You‘re worthless.‖

他们听到的是：―你是个笨蛋，你知道什么啊，你简直一文不值‖。

Prefer more tactful sentences. ―I would have thought that…‖, ―My understanding is that…‖ Ask questions to make sure you and the other person are working on the same assumptions.

不如换成更加隐晦的句子：―我早就应该想到...‖ ―我的理解是...‖ 问问题能保证你和其他人在商榷同一个假设。

3. ―You can‘t do it‖

―你做不到的‖

What they hear: ―You don‘t have what it takes to do it, no matter how hard you try; So why do you even try?‖

他们听到的是：―无论你多努力，都没有能力做到，那干嘛还要去尝试呢？‖

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Why would you set someone up for failure? I understand that you don‘t want your friend to have delusions, and you could feel that it is your duty to stop that person before they hurt themselves, but I would like to ask you: how can you judge what is good for somebody? And what if failure was the best path for growth? Encourage people who have chosen a challenging path.

为什么总把别人和失败绑在一起？我懂你其实不希望你朋友产生幻觉，你觉得阻止他们是你的责任，可以使他们免于受伤，但我还是想问问你：你凭什么替别人去判断事物的好坏？失败难道不是成长最好的途径吗？对那些走在充满挑战道路上的人一丝鼓励吧。

4. ―This should be easy‖

―这个应该不难‖

What they hear: ―It‘s easy for most people. If you have trouble doing it, there is probably something wrong about you‖

他们听到的是：―这对大部分人来说都很简单，如果你觉得难，那就是你有问题了。‖ The level of difficulty is perceived differently by everyone, and everyone has their own Everest. If you‘re telling somebody that their job is easy, then you‘re

undermining their contribution to society and you‘re telling them they don‘t deserve the salary they have.

难度标准对于每个人而言是不一样的，每个人都有自己珠穆朗玛峰。如果你告诉别人他们的工作很简单，其实无形中你在低估他们对社会的贡献，你就是在告诉他们不配拿到那么高的工资。

If someone is struggling and coming for help, then they have trust you enough to show you their weakness. Don‘t rub their face in it by saying ―This should be easy‖. 如果有人遇到问题需要帮助，他们正是因为信任你才会向你展现出自己的弱点。别再说‖这不难啊―这样的话啦，跟扇他们耳光没啥区别。

Acknowledge the challenges that people encounter and value their commitment to overcome them.

了解人们面对的挑战，根据他们的能力帮助他们去克服。

5. ―I told you so‖

―我早就告诉过你了‖

What they hear: ―You did not listen to me. That‘s all your fault. I‘m so much better than you.‖

他们听到的是：―你不听我的，都是你的错，我比你优秀多了。‖

This one is a common no-no. It‘s useless to shoot a dead horse, especially when other person needs your help more than ever. Don‘t keep tabs on who‘s right and who‘s wrong. If it were a competition, the one keeping tabs would be the one losing. 这句话真心不要说。马后炮真的一点意义都没有，尤其是别人无比需要你的帮助的时候。不要再去纠结于谁是对的谁是错的。如果有个比赛，那个总是纠结的人绝对是输家。 ------------------------------------------ROBIN 2

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Help the other person, and don‘t add insult to injury.

帮助别人，不要再在别人的伤口上撒盐。

6. ―As I just said before…‖

―就像我之前说过的‖

What they hear: ―You don‘t listen to me. You‘re making me repeat myself. You‘re so annoying and dumb.‖

他们听到的是：―你不听我的，你让我重复说，多烦人多笨啊。‖

This is a very sneaky conversation killer. If someone asks you a question and you point out that you‘ve already answered it, then you‘re killing their willingness to learn, or even to have a slight interest in what you say.

这绝对是对话杀手。如果有人问你问题，你指出已经回答过了，那么其实你已经扼杀了他们想要学习的欲望，甚至是对你话语的一丁点兴趣。

Say the same thing in another way and by illustrating it differently.

换个方式表达，这样才能与众不同一点。

五招助你建立职场人脉

Successful businesses are built on strong relationships. Business leaders often need to step into the shoes of a diplomat, developing and managing complex relationships with many diverse groups.

成功的职业生涯是建立在强大的人脉基础上的。商界领袖们常常需要用外交的眼光和各种各样的人发展和维持复杂的人际关系。

"There is a lot of common ground between diplomacy and business," says Carey Cavanaugh, a professor of diplomacy at the University of Kentucky and a former U.S. ambassador stationed all over the world for over two decades under both the Clinton and Bush administrations. "Entrepreneurs can draw from the diplomatic tool box to be more effective," he says.

―外交和商业之间有很多交际，‖肯塔基大学外交学教授，曾在克林顿总统和布什总统在任期间担任美国驻多个国家大使的加里·卡瓦纳表示，―企业家们可以从外交手段的宝库中获取很多能帮助他们变得更有效率的东西。‖

Try these tips from a seasoned diplomat's toolbox to help you build solid business relationships that last.

以下技巧来自一位老练外交家的思想宝库，它们能帮助你建立稳固的人际关系。

1. Be honest about what you can reveal.

1.对于你能透露的东西要坦诚。

Diplomats are known as "people who lie for their countries," and corporations are often seen as equally deceitful. But in both cases, telling the truth is essential for success. Truth builds a solid reputation, It's the key to establishing long-term relationships that you can rely on in a crunch.

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外交家们是那些―为了自己的国家而说谎的人‖，公司也常常被认为同样具有欺骗性。但两者之间相同的是，说真话对于成功来说都是不可或缺的。真话能建立起稳定的声誉，这对于建立你能在危急时刻倚靠的长期稳定的关系是非常重要的。

When secrecy is essential, with an upcoming product launch or a private personnel issue, don't compromise honesty. You can keep secrets and still tell the truth, Just be honest about what you can and cannot say.

当你必须保密时，比如面对一个即将发行的产品或是私密的个人文件，不要违背诚实。你可以继续保守秘密，同时说些真话，你只要坦诚地说明什么是你可以说的，什么你不可以说。

2. Do your research.

2.做好研究。

Just as a diplomat would learn about a culture's customs before a visit, learn as much as you can before you try to connect with a customer, peer, or potential

partner. Learn what they value, how they behave, what their long-term interests are, and what they need or want.

就像一个外交家会在出访前研究好该国的文化一样，当你要和一位客户、同僚或是潜在的伙伴联系时，你也要尽可能地做好研究。要知道他们的价值观，行为准侧，兴趣以及他们需要什么。

Use that knowledge to help you craft your message or product, address specific needs, and show that you understand their values.

利用这些知识来构造你的语言和产品，处理特殊需求，并向他们表明，你了解他们的价值观。

3. Listen more than you talk.

3.多听少说。

Diplomats and business people have a reputation for being pushy, but the best take time to listen. Half the job is about saying what you want or need, but the other half is listening, It's as important to listen as it is to speak.

外交家和商人都被认为是非常咄咄逼人的人，但你最好多花些时间去聆听。―工作的一半是表达你的需求，另一半就是聆听。听与说一样重要。

Listening makes the other party feel valued, helps you identify their needs, and allows you to respond more creatively. When you listen, you can often find solutions that evade others, making you more likely to reach your goals.

聆听能使对方感觉受到了重视，能帮助你了解他们的需求，还能帮助你作出更富有创造性的回应。当你聆听的时候，你常常可以找到逃避对方问题的方法，这样能让你离成功更进一步。

4. Don't discount the little guys.

4.不要忽略那些不起眼的人。

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The relationships you're building today, even those that seem inconsequential, are worth attention and care. Relationships that don't seem important now will come back to you later, though you won't know when or how.

你今天所建立的人际关系，即使是那些看起来无关紧要的人，都是值得你关注的。今天看起来不重要的关系有可能在日后会变得很重要，即使你不知道会在何时何处。

A casual acquaintance may be the key to your next innovation, just as a tiny

country may be the next major oil source for a diplomat. Build lasting relationships by treating others with integrity and giving your full attention when you're with them.

今天一个普通的熟人或许会是你下一项创举的关键。这就好像在外交上，一个不起眼的小国家很可能会是下一个重要的石油产地。诚信待人，并在和别人在一起的时候给他们充分的关注，才能和他们建立起长期稳定的关系。

5. Stay true to your values.

5.坚持你的价值观。

In any negotiation or business decision, choose solutions that fit your values, even if they're not the easiest or cheapest options. When you deviate from [your values], there‘s a hard price to pay. It takes a long time to get a reputation back.

在做任何谈判或商业决定时，要选择符合你价值观的解决方案，即使那不是最简单，最便宜的方案。一旦你背弃了你的价值观，你就要付出巨大的代价。你要花很长时间才能把失去的声誉赚回来。

It's easiest to lose your values when you're getting impatient or growing rapidly, so in those moments, remember what you stand for. The more you act on consistent values, the stronger your business will be in the long run and the more your consumers will trust you.

当你失去耐心或者进展迅速时是最容易放弃你的价值观的。所以在这些时候，你一定要记住你代表的是什么。你越是能够坚持一贯的原则，你的公司就能发展得更长久，你的客户也就会更相信你。

老板希望你明白的8个道理

Want to get on your boss's good side and do better at work? One way is to

understand her perspective, and the perspective of a manager can be very different from yours as an employee. Here are eight things your boss probably wishes you knew.

你想要讨老板的欢心让你的工作扶摇直上吗？一个办法就是去了解老板的期望。但是老板对你的期望可能和你自己以为的相差甚远。以下八件事就是老板希望你能知道的。

1. Bring solutions, not just problems.

1.带来解决方案，而不仅仅带来问题。

If you just bring your manager problems, she has to solve them, but think how much more valuable you'd be (and how much time you'd save her) if instead, you ------------------------------------------ROBIN 5

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brought proposed solutions. Even if your manager wants to respond differently, having a proposal to react to is easier than having to start figuring it out from scratch.

假如你只是给你的经理带来问题，她就需要去解决它们，但你想象一下，假如你带来的是已经想好的解决方案，你该会变得多有用（给她也节省了多少时间啊）。即使你的经理想要一些不同的答案，有现成的方案来供她选择也比从一团乱麻中理出头绪要简单得多。

2. Everything has a trade-off.

2.每件事都有代价。

When you're responsible for only one piece of the pie, it's easy to think that

solutions are obvious. But when you're responsible for the whole pie, it gets far more complicated; decisions that seem easy for you may require a trade-off

somewhere else. For instance, you might not understand why your manager won't approve your request for new software. But approving your request might mean that she has to cut her budget somewhere else, plus explain to a different employee why she can't have the training course she requested.

当你只是对事情的一部分负责时，很明显想出解决的方案是很容易的。但假如你需要对整件事情负责呢？事情就变得复杂起来：那些对你来说看起来很容易的决定往往需要你付出些代价。比如说，你或许无法理解为什么你的经理不能同意你对于新软件的要求，然而假如同意了你的要求或许就意味着她要在别的地方减少预算，为此还要向另一位员工解释为什么她没能得到她所要求的培训课程。

3. Your attitude matters almost as much as your work.

3.你的态度和你的工作表现几乎一样重要。

Managing a team can be exhausting, and it's significantly harder when a team member is resistant to feedback, difficult to work with or just plain unpleasant. Even if your work is good, many good managers will refuse to tolerate poor

attitudes, and you could find yourself without a job or hampered significantly in your current one.

管理一个团队可能会非常累人，而当其中的一位团队成员拒绝作出反馈、难以共事又或是总是抱怨不满时，事情就会变得更加困难。即使你的工作表现很好，但很多优秀的经理仍然不会容忍你糟糕的态度，你甚至会因此丢掉工作或是在现在的工作中受到极大的阻碍。

4. If we say yes to you, we'd have to say yes to others.

4.假如我们为你破例，或许我们也不得不对别人破例。

It might be just fine for you to work from home two days a week, but not for the

whole department to do it. And if your manager allows you, it's likely that others will want to also. Managers can make exceptions for individuals, but in many cases, it will cause morale problems or even prompt accusations of treating one group differently than another.

对你来说每周从家里来工作两天或许正好，但并不意味着全部门的人都适合。而假如你的经理容许了你这么做，非常可能会有其他人也想要这样。经理们可以为一个人破例，但在许多案例中，这会对士气造成影响，甚至还会导致有关歧视的投诉。

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5. Feedback is meant to help you.

5.给你反馈是为了帮助你。

Really. It can sting to hear what you're not doing well enough, but imagine if your manager never bothered to tell you: You wouldn't progress in your career or get merit raises, and you might wonder why others were getting better assignments and promotions while you were passed over. Managers (most of them, anyway) don't give feedback to make you feel bad or put you down; they do it because they want you to do well at your work – both for the company's sake and your own.

确实，听到老板说你在工作中做得不够好确实挺难受的，但想象一下你的经理这样告诉你吧：你永远不会在你的工作上有什么进步，也不会得到福利的提升。而你或许会想，为什么其他人可以得到更好的任务和升职机会，而你却总被忽视。经理们（当然不是所有的）不会为了让你难过而给你反馈，他们之所以给你反馈是因为他们希望你在工作上做得更好。——这既是为了公司的利益也是为了你自己。

6. Taking ownership is huge.

6.要有主人翁的意识。

It might be fine to merely execute a project that someone gives you. But it's far better when you can truly own the work – meaning that you're the one driving it forward, obsessing over it, spotting problems before they arise and addressing them and generally taking the same sort of responsibility for it. Approaching your work like this can be what takes you from a B-player to an A-player and can pay off dramatically in the course of your career.

或许仅仅去执行一件他人交给你的任务是很不错的。但如果你能够真正地成为工作的主人，那就更好了。拥有主人翁意识意味着你是那个驱动着工作前进、为了工作魂牵梦绕、不停地发现问题，解决问题，并且负起责任的那个人。像这样对待你的工作能让你从优秀变为卓越，也会为你的职业生涯带来巨大的收益。

7. We expect you to be a grown-up.

7.我们希望你能成长。

That means that we expect you to try to find the answer yourself before asking us for help, to resolve your own interpersonal issues with co-workers, to have a work ethic that means your work doesn't change when we're not around, to avoid

causing drama in the workplace and to otherwise behave like a professional adult who doesn't need to be told to do these things.

这意味着我们希望你能够在来询问我们的帮助之前自己去找到问题的答案，自己去解决和同事之间的人际关系问题，能够拥有一种职业道德，即使我们不在你身边也不会影响你的工作态度，能够避免在办公室惹麻烦，能够表现得像个不需要被指派任务的专业的成年人。

8. We want you to ask for help when you need it.

8.我们希望当你需要帮助的时候能提出来。

Most managers do want to hear when you're struggling, whether it's with a

particular problem on a project, a difficult client or an overwhelming workload.

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you're struggling and ask for advice. Good managers will welcome it.

大部分经理都希望知道你何时陷入了麻烦，不管是因为某个项目中的某个特定问题，还是因为一个难缠的客户，或是因为工作量过多。不要总是把你的问题藏起来希望它们不会被察觉到。——当你遇到困难时勇敢地说出来，并且寻求别人的建议。好的经理会很欢迎你这么做的。

惹别人生气了怎么办？

was running late. My wife Eleanor and I had agreed to meet at the restaurant at seven o'clock and it was already half past. I had a good excuse in the form of a client meeting that ran over and I wasted no time getting to the dinner as fast as possible.

迟到了。我跟老婆埃莉诺约好7点在饭店见面来着，现在已经7点半了。我的理由还算充分：因为跟某个客户有约，所以只能先忙完再马不停蹄赶来一起吃晚饭。

When I arrived at the restaurant, I apologized and told her I didn't mean to be late. 赶到饭店后，我急忙跟老婆道歉：我不是故意要迟到的。

She answered: "You never mean to be late." Uh oh, she was mad.

她回道：―你什么时候故意迟到过？‖呃，看来老婆生气了。

"Sorry," I retorted, "but it was unavoidable." I told her about the client meeting. Not only did my explanations not soothe her, they seemed to make things worse. That started to make me angry.

―对不起，‖我说，―但事情真的推不开。‖接下来就是我要跟客户见面如何如何……可是，我越解释越是火上浇油，最后连我自己也气得不行。

That dinner didn't turn out to be our best.

自然，那顿晚饭也吃得不开心。

Several weeks later, when I was describing the situation to a friend of mine, Ken Hardy, a professor of family therapy, he smiled.

几个星期后，我把这件事告诉了朋友肯-哈迪。肯是家庭治疗方面的专家。听完我的诉说，他笑了。

"You made a classic mistake," he told me.

―你可真是犯了一个典型的错误。‖他说。

"Me? I made the mistake?" I was only half joking.

―啥？是我做错了吗？‖我半开玩笑问道。

"Yes. And you just made it again," he said. "You're stuck in your perspective: You didn't mean to be late. But that's not the point. The point is that you were late. The point — and what's important in your communication — is how your lateness impacted Eleanor."

―当然是你错了，刚才就是。‖他说。―你一直从自己的立场强调?我不是故意迟到的‘，但这不是问题的关键，关键是你确实迟到了，而且你的迟到确实影响到了埃莉诺。‖

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In other words, I was focused on my intention while Eleanor was focused on the consequences. We were having two different conversations. In the end, we both felt unacknowledged, misunderstood, and angry.

这样说来，我只一味强调我的本意，而埃莉诺看重的却是结果。所以，我俩讲的话根本就风马牛不相及，最后自然都会因为分歧和误解而生气了。

The more I thought about what Ken said, the more I recognized that this battle — intention vs. consequences — was the root cause of so much interpersonal discord. 肯的话，我越想越觉得这种―本意VS结果‖的争论正是很多人际关系不和的根本原因。 As it turns out, it's not the thought that counts or even the action that counts. That's because the other person doesn't experience your thought or your action. They experience the consequences of your action.

事实表明，争吵的根源不在于你怎么想或你做了什么，毕竟别人体会不到你的想法或行为，别人体会到的是你的行为所带来的后果。

Here's another example: You send an email to a colleague telling him you think he could have spoken up more in a meeting.

举例来说：你给同事发了封邮件，说你觉得他本可以在会议上多做点发言。

He replies to the email, "Maybe if you spoke less, I would have had an opportunity to say something!"

他回复邮件说：―或许，要是你能少说一点，我就有机会插上两句了吧！‖

That obviously rankles you. Still, you send off another email trying to clarify the first email: "I didn't mean to offend you, I was trying to help." And then maybe you add some dismay at the aggressiveness of his response.

这种话显然激怒了你，但你又发了一封邮件进行解释：―我不是要找你茬，只想提点意见罢了。‖又或许，因为同事的回复太过分，你在邮件里也添油加醋了一番。

But that doesn't make things better. He quotes the language of your first email back to you. "Don't you see how it reads?" He asks. "BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!" You write back, IN CAPS.

可这么一来，事情反倒更糟。他把你第一封邮件的原话拷贝给你，反问道：―那你这是写的什么？‖你特地用大写字母回邮以示强调：―我不是那个意思！‖

So how do you get out of this downward spiral?

如此恶性循环……怎么办呢？

It's stunningly simple, actually. When you've done something that upsets someone — no matter who's right — always start the conversation by acknowledging how your actions impacted the other person. Save the discussion about your intentions for later. Much later. Maybe never. Because, in the end, your intentions don't matter much.

其实，办法超级简单。当你惹别人生气了，甭管谁对谁错，先主动开口为自己的言行向对方道歉。至于你本意如何，以后再说，或者永远都别罗里吧嗦地解释，因为最后你的本意并不那么重要。

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What if you don't think the other person is right — or justified — in feeling the way they do? It doesn't matter. Because you're not striving for agreement. You're going for understanding.

要是你觉得完全是对方做错了或有失偏颇呢？那也没什么大不了的。又不是非得意见完全一致，只要能相互理解就行了。

What should I have said to Eleanor?

那我该怎么跟埃莉诺解释？

"I see you're angry. You've been sitting here for 30 minutes and that's got to be

frustrating. And it's not the first time. Also, I can see how it seems like I think being with a client gives me permission to be late. I'm sorry you had to sit here waiting for so long."

―生气啦？等了半个钟头，很不开心吧？唉，我老让你这样等我，老是因为客户而耽误你，让你等我这么长时间，真心对不起啊。‖

All of that is true. Your job is to acknowledge their reality — which is critical to maintaining the relationship. As Ken described it to me: "If someone's reality, as they see it, is negated, what motivation do they have to stay in the relationship?" 这么说也都句句属实，还能保证俩人关系和好如初。就像肯告诫我的那样：―如果人们觉得自己被忽视了，那还有什么理由相信这段关系呢？‖

In the email back and forth I described earlier, instead of clarifying what you meant, consider writing something like: "I could see how my criticizing your performance — especially via email — feels obnoxious to you. How it sounds critical and maybe dismissive of your efforts in the meeting."

再看我前面提到的―邮件拉锯战‖。与其不断强调你的本意，不如试着这样写：―我在邮件上指正你的表现显然让你感到不爽了。这些话带有批评意味，可能还抹煞了你在会议上的付出。‖

I said this was simple but I didn't say it was easy.

我说这很简单，但并不表示这做起来很容易。

The hardest part is our emotional resistance. We're so focused on our own

challenges that it's often hard to acknowledge the challenges of others. Especially if we are their challenge and they are ours. Especially when they lash out at us in anger. Especially when we feel misunderstood. In that moment, when we empathize with them and their criticism of our behavior, it almost feels like we're betraying ourselves.

最难的就是我们会从情绪上产生抵触。我们总是专注于自己的挑战，常常忽略他人的困境——特别是当他人的困境就是由我们造成、我们又因此被激怒时，更难以承认。这时，如果我们认同对方的立场以及对方对我们的苛责，那就等于扇自己耳光了。

But we're not. We're just empathizing.

所以我们不会认同对方，而只会一味强调。

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Here's a trick to make it easier. While they're getting angry at you, imagine, instead, that they're angry at someone else. Then react as you would in that situation. Probably you'd listen and let them know you see how angry they are.

下面这个方法可以让事情变简单一点。当对方向你发火时，试着想象他是在向其他人发火，然后你设身处地体会一下，或许你会倾听并发现双方真的很生气啊。

And if you never get to explain your intentions? What I have found in practice — and this surprised me — is that once I've expressed my understanding of the consequences, my need to justify my intentions dissipates.

要是一直没机会解释你的本意呢？事实上，我意外地发现，一旦我理解了结果造成的麻烦，也就不再想去解释我本意如何如何了。

That's because the reason I'm explaining my intentions in the first place is to repair the relationship. But I've already accomplished that by empathizing with their experience. At that point, we're both usually ready to move on.

原因在于，我一开始急于解释本意不外是为了弥补俩人关系，但通过站在对方立场考虑，我不已经达到这个目的了嘛？如此一来，俩人也都尽释前嫌了。

And if you do still feel the need? You'll still have the opportunity, once the other person feels seen, heard, and understood.

要是你还想作出解释呢？那么，机会也还是有的——只要对方看上去已经明白并理解你的处境。

If we succeed in doing all this well, we'll often find that, along with our relationships, something else gets better: our behavior.

如果我们能做好这一点，不仅人际关系会变好，我们的言行也会渐渐改变呢。

After that last conversation with Eleanor — after really understanding the

consequences of my lateness on her — somehow, someway, I've managed to be on time a lot more frequently.

自从上次跟埃莉诺争执后，我切身体会到了自己的迟到给她带来的麻烦，正因如此，不知不觉间，我竟变得越来越准时了！

如何原谅伤害你的人

Man is a social animal and ought to socialize, but with company around, there are times when egos tend to mingle along as well. This could result in exchanges of words that could put a strain on relationships. Continuous bashing of words with an individual could turn ugly and lead to hatred.

人都是社交动物，无法离开社会而生存，然而一旦周围有了同伴，自尊心往往会作祟，这就会导致言语交际时引发的紧张关系。持续用言语打击别人可能会导致关系恶化，甚至招来仇恨。

The impact of hatred

仇恨带来的影响

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Hating someone is injurious to one‘s own health since it causes anger within, and this annoyance can take a toll on one‘s health if it builds too high.

讨厌一个人对自身的健康也有坏处，因为体内总有一股怒气，如果积压的怒气过多就会对身体带来伤害了。

Why Forgive?

为什么选择原谅？

Mental balance applies towards good health. Since health is wealth, forgiveness is the way to go. Forgiving someone is like having a mental balance by letting go of any resentment or grudges towards an individual, which will help to clear the conscience and is very crucial for resolving relationships.

精神的平和对可以带来健康。健康是无价之宝，那为何不选择原谅呢。原谅别人就好比放下一些怨恨，达到精神的平和，可以净化心灵同时解决关系危机。

There are a couple of C‘s involved in burying the hatchet:

下面这些C字关键词是你―放下仇恨‖时应该做到的：

Categorize

归类

Many a time, we are not aware of why we hate someone and continue to walk on a path that disturbs one‘s mental and physical well-being. We should be able to recognize the pattern that arises when we come across a certain human being. Once we are able to categorize the pattern, we can move to the next step.

很多时候，我们都没有意识到到底为什么讨厌这个人，却仍固执的怨恨着，扰乱着自己的精神和身体健康。遇到某个人的时候我们需要能够归类到底该采取何种方式对待他，一旦能够归类了，我们就可以到下一个步骤。

Cause

缘由

We should try to search within ourselves with regard to what and how the

individual has hurt us, and why we hate them. Finding a cause helps us to bring closure within ourselves, and we can open up to discussion within the self, and even with the person whom we hate.

我们要从自身出发找出到底这个人是如何以及怎么伤害到我们的，以及我们为什么讨厌他们。找到根源能让自己停止纠结下去，我们可以和别人甚至和讨厌的那个人去开诚布公的讨论。

Confront

面对

Coming face-to-face with the person whom one hates is a challenge, but

confronting the individual will lead to peace of mind and a sound sleep at night. Brave up and face that person.

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和讨厌的人面对面的确是个挑战，但面对别人时，头脑会趋于冷静，晚上也会睡个好觉。所以鼓起勇气去面对这个人吧。

Conversation

对话

Once in the presence of the person who is hated, start a conversation and

communicate about what bothers you. Being frank about what and how that

person‘s behavior irks oneself will help both discuss issues, and will eventually lead to clarification.

如果你讨厌的人出现了，不妨两个人好好聊聊，一起说说到底什么惹到你了。坦白的说说这个人的什么行为如何惹到了你，这对讨论以及最终解除误会都有很大的帮助。

Contrite

悔悟

Apologizing to the disliked person can do wonders for one‘s physical and mental being, bringing happiness and contentment. Keeping one‘s egos aside and expressing remorse is the key to forgiveness.

对不喜欢的那个人道歉对人的精神和身体会带来幸福和满足感，很神奇的哦！把什么自尊放到一边去，表达出悔恨才是原谅的核心。

Be Compassionate with yourself

对自己有恻隐之心

Once you forgive a person, be patient and kind to your self. Time is a big healer, thus give time to heal—physically and emotionally. Express your pain and anxiety, and do not keep it bottled up. Appreciate the goodness of people around you, and visualize a new life with positive energy each day. This will help to shape each day free of pain and suffering.

一旦原谅了别人，对自己有点耐心，也对自己好一点。时间是伟大的治愈师，会慢慢治愈你身体和精神上的创伤。把自己的痛苦和焦虑都表达出来，不要憋在心里。感激周围人对你的好，每天用积极的态度看待新的生活。这样能有效帮助你慢慢从痛苦中解脱出来。 Caution

谨慎

Once you made amends, set your boundaries to avoid repeating history so that you do not get hurt again. Be sure to keep a good distance from the person who triggered chaos in your mind and made you lose your sleep at night. Since we cannot change an individual, it‘s smart to keep away from them.

一旦有了教训，你需要设定底线来避免历史重演，这样才能保证你不会再受到伤害。和那些会让你头脑发晕失眠的人保持点距离吧。既然我们无法改变一个人，不如聪明点远离他们。

Humans want to walk on the forbidden path, and there are chances that we can get attracted to people who have raised our blood pressure previously. Thus, retrain ------------------------------------------ROBIN 13

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your thinking by wishing well about the person whom you just forgave. Hope the best for him while being intelligent and making wise decisions with respect to your mental well-being.

人们总喜欢选择走不该走的路，也有可能我们会爱上先前让我们血管爆棚的人。不管怎样，换个思考方式，祝福那个你刚刚原谅的人吧。为了自己的精神健康，真心去祝福他真的是智慧和明智的决定。

7个职场信号暗示：你要被炒鱿鱼了

These days, it seems that everyone is worried about getting fired. Being alert and proactive is the key to dodging the proverbial pink slip. If you remain oblivious for too long, at a certain point, you can do anything, you can do jazz hands, and it's still over.

现如今似乎每个人都在担心自己会被炒鱿鱼。避开收到解雇通知书的关键是时刻警惕并保持主动。如果你老是漫不经心的，到了某一程度，你就可有可无了。这就完蛋了。

1.You are out of the loop.

1.你被排挤出了权力圈。

When you are being kept out of decisions and news that normally you would be involved in, it could be a sign that you are being phased out. It is recommended asking what changes your boss or team leaders would like to see and writing them down. Take immediate action to make these changes with enthusiasm and a positive attitude.

当你不能参与平时你能着手的决策和信息发布时，可能说明你正逐步被淘汰出局。你可以问问你的老板或团队领导希望看到什么样的变化并写下来。立即采取行动，以饱满的热情和积极的态度实现这些转变。

2.Your boss is visibly frustrated.

2.你的老板一脸沮丧。

You don't think you did anything wrong, but your boss is acting agitated and annoyed. Glass, a body language expert, said that signs of a boss's irritation

include leaning back from you, not making eye contact, and pointing his or her feet away from you when seated. I recommend asking for a performance review and then acting immediately to make improvements. If your company doesn't have a formal review process, you should regularly request feedback from higher-ups. 你不认为你做错了什么事，但你的老板却是焦躁和生气。肢体语言专家格拉斯说，老板的愤怒的迹象包括没有靠向你，和你没有眼神交流，当Ta坐着的时候，Ta的脚尖没有指向你。我建议你向领导请求一份绩效考核反馈，然后立即采取行动做出改进。如果你的公司没有正式的审查过程，你应该经常向上级请求反馈。

3.Your responsibilities are reduced.

3.你的职责缩减了。

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Unless your boss is helping you out because you are breaking under the weight of work two or three people would usually be doing or you are being given bigger and more challenging tasks, getting projects taken away may signal a lack of faith in your abilities. Request the opportunity to do the work, and make sure your efforts are stellar. It's a great time to go the extra mile and demonstrate your initiative and value.

除非你的老板在帮助你分摊压力，因为你在承受通常是两三个人在承受的工作压力，或者分配给你更艰巨和更有挑战性的任务。着手的项目被人接手可能预示着老板对你的能力缺乏信心。请求一次完成工作的机会，确保你的努力是有目共睹的。这是一次极好的时机，付出额外的汗水向别人展示你的主动性和价值。

4.You have made a major mistake.

4.你犯了一个很大的错误。

You blew it and you know it. Apologize and acknowledge the impact on your boss and organization. Demonstrate a clear path for how you plan on preventing future mistakes and improving your overall performance in general. Offer a timeline and stick to it.

你搞砸了，你也知道这件事。道歉并承认这个错误对上司和组织造成的影响。清晰地说明你会在将来如何避免错误并且提升你的整体能力。递交一份时间表，并坚持履行。

5.You receive an unexpected poor performance review.

5.你的绩效考核出乎意料地不理想。

Especially if you are blindsided, this could mean your company is building a case for letting you go to avoid a wrongful termination suit in the future. Ask for

coaching or mentoring from your boss, which may help bring your work back in line with his or her expectations and save your job.

特别是如果你还愣头愣脑的，这可能意味着你的公司正在着手解雇你以避免在未来卷入非法解雇诉讼。向你的老板请求指点或指导，这可能有助你提升工作成效符合他或她的期望值，从而保住工作。

6.Your boss's assistant treats your poorly.

6.老板的助理冷淡地对待你。

It's a kind of animal-kingdom behavior, and does not bode well for your position's future. It is recommended that you be proactive about asking your boss how you could improve your performance and volunteer for projects. If you feel you are going to be fired imminently, have a frank, respectful conversation instead of avoiding the issue.

这是一种动物王国的行为。这对你将来的职业发展来说不是一个好兆头。建议你主动向老板询问你要如何改善你的表现，并且自愿参加项目工程。如果你觉得你很快要被解雇，那就来一次坦诚和尊重的谈话而不是回避这个问题。

7.ometimes there is nothing you can do to turn things around and save your position.

7.有时候在扭转时局并保留职位上你无能为力。

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You are better off directing your energy toward finding a new job. If you suddenly find your communication switching from phone calls to emails, for instance, HR may be building the documentation to support letting you go. It's also a bad sign if your superiors are suddenly aloof and you notice that conversations change when you enter a room. Finally, if you have an unexpected meeting scheduled with your boss and an HR representative on a Friday, brace yourself—that's the time people are most often fired.

你最好是把你的能量导向到去寻找一份新工作。比如说，如果你突然发现人力资源同你的交流方式从打电话转换成发电子邮件，那么人力资源可能决议同意放手让你走。还有一个糟糕的信号是如果你的上司突然对你有所冷淡，而且当你走进办公室时，你注意到人们的谈话内容发生变化了。最后，如果你要参加一次意想不到的会议，一次你的老板和人力资源代表在周五都会出席的会议时，安慰自己一下——这种时候通常是解雇员工的时候。 And if you are fired? Remember that respectful communication is key, no matter how rejected and upset you may be feeling. It's really important to leave on gracious terms - you never know if some boss you had two or three years ago might want to rehire you.

如果你被解雇了？记住，不管你有多沮丧，你有多烦躁，有尊重的沟通是关键。在离别时要用词委婉，这是很重要的——你永远猜不到也许两三年前的老东家想重新雇用你。

夜间工作有诀窍：如何做个高效的夜猫子

Being an early riser has its benefits, but it isn‘t for everyone. Some of humanity‘s greatest minds (Voltaire for example) were renowned for sleeping in. Depending on personality, environment, and work schedule, beingan early riser may not be practical.

做一名早起者有它的好处，但并不是每个人都适合。一些伟人（比如说伏尔泰）因睡懒觉而闻名。根据性格、环境和工作安排的不同，做一个早起者可能并不现实。

A few months ago I gave early rising a try. I was able to wake up 1-1.5 hours earlier, but I couldn‘t adjust to the early bed time. Each night around 10:00, no matter how tired I‘d felt that day, my mind became active and I was unable to shut down until after 12:00. After a few weeks, sleep deprivation set in and I went backto my normal sleep pattern.

几个月前，我尝试着早起。我能够比之前早起1-1.5个小时，但是我不能调整早睡的时间。每晚约10:00，不管我那天多累，我的头脑变得活跃，而且在12:00前无法停止。过了几周，我开始感到睡眠不足，开始回到正常的睡眠模式。

For those of us who experience a late night surge of mentally activity, waking

before 6 a.m. can lead to exhaustion. Sleep schedule depends on many factors and is subject to change, but it‘s important to findwhat works for you. Fortunately, those of us who aren‘t suited to early rising can be just as productive byutilizing those quiet evening hours.

对于我们这种深夜心理活动激增的人来说，六点之前醒来会导致疲惫。作息规律基于很多------------------------------------------ROBIN 16

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因素并很容易改变，但是找到适合自己的很重要。幸运的是，我们这些不适合早起的人可以充分利用深夜的安静时光来使自己富有成效。

Late rising isn‘t automatically beneficial. It has a negative connotation because, if poorly managed, sleeping late leads to perpetual grogginess and wasted days. Here are few strategies I‘ve developed for effective late rising.

晚起一般是没好处的。它有负面作用，因为如果时间管理不善，晚睡会导致长期浑浑噩噩和浪费光阴。这里是我为了高效的晚起列的几点策略。

1. Don‘t Over Sleep

别睡过头

The biggest temptation with late rising is to over sleep. Too much sleep is a bad thing. Rather than feeling more rested, it makes you lethargic. Having a regular wake up time is just as important for night owls as it is for early risers. If you don‘t set a schedule, you‘ll have a hard time being productive.

晚起的一个副作用就是导致过度睡眠，睡得太多不是好事。它不会让你感觉休息充分，只会让人头昏脑涨。对夜猫子来说，保持一个有规律的起床时间就像早起者一样重要。如果你作息没有规律，那你就很难保持高效。

2. Don‘t Sleep Too Late

不要睡得太晚

Along the same lines, I‘ve found that late rising is best in moderation. Sleeping until mid-afternoon can ruinan entire day. It throws off your biological clock, leaving you mentally dull, and makes it harder to get to sleep at a reasonable hour the following night. For me, the ideal wake up time is between 8:00 and 10:00a.m. This gives me a chance to get the 6-8 hours of sleep that I need without oversleeping or losing toomuch of the day.

同样的，我发现晚起最好要有节制。一觉睡到中午会废掉一整天的时间。这会毁掉你的生物钟，导致你反应迟钝，并且会使你在第二天晚上不能正常入睡。对我来说，最好的起床时间是早上8点到10点之间。这可以让我得到6-8小时的充足睡眠，并且除了不让我睡眠过多外，还不会让我损失很多白天的时间。

3. Set a Cut Off Time

设置一个截止时间

The challenge with being productive at night is that it‘s hard to wind down. This can lead to late nights that throw off your schedule. The way to manage this is setting a cut off time. I set my cut off time for an hourbefore bed time, usually around 11:00-11:30.

要在夜间保持高效的另一项挑战是你很难平静下来，这可能会导致作息不规律的午夜时间。处理这种情况的方法是设置截止时间。我的截止时间在就寝时间之前一小时，一般在11点到11点半之间。

After the cut off time I stop working and wind down. I switch to mentally relaxing activities like minor household chores and light reading. I‘d also recommend ------------------------------------------ROBIN 17

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avoiding television and the computer completely. The brightness of the screen can trick your brain into thinking it‘s day. Although there will always be those nights when I ride a rush of creativity until 3:00 or 4:00 a.m., it‘s better to make that the exception.

在截止时间过后，我停止工作放松一下。我会切换到一些放松大脑的活动，比如做家务或者读点闲书。我还要劝大家，不要看电视或者玩电脑。荧幕的亮光会让你的大脑认为现在还是白天。不过现在总是有一些晚上，我的创造力井喷到凌晨三四点才停止，最好把这种情况作为例外处理。

4. Schedule around Your Energy Cycle

调节精力循环

To maximize productivity it‘s important to leverage the natural peaks of your

energy cycle. Late rising works best for people who peak in the evening. If this is the case, you should create a schedule that lets you work at night. I‘ve found mid-mornings to be productive, so I‘ve built my schedule around a morning and evening shift.

为了使效率最大化，调节自身的精力循环高峰期很重要。晚起适用于精力高峰在晚上的人。如果出现这种情况，你可以设置作息表，让你在夜里工作。我发现每天上午工作很有效率，因此我建立了作息规律，使我可以在晚上和上午都能工作。

After getting up around 8:00 or 9:00, I eat breakfast and work for 3-4 hours. By early afternoon my energy fades and I switch from creative work to less demanding tasks like responding to email, reading feeds, and running errands. Around 8:00 p.m. I have another energy peak and work the night shift until my cut off time at 11:00. 在8:00或9:00起床后，我吃点早餐，工作三到四小时。但在下午早些时候，我的精力较差，我就把工作从创造型的转换成要求较低的工作，比如回复邮件，阅读摘要，并且做些琐碎的事。在晚上8点左右，我有了自己的另一个精力高峰，并在11:00的截止时间前加夜班。

Although it can be tough to schedule around a 9-5 job, you can probably figure out a way to take advantage of your evening energy peak by working from home or on side projects.

尽管对于朝九晚五的工作来说这样的作息很艰苦，但你可以通过在家工作或做辅助项目的方法来利用你的夜间精力高峰。

5. Take Advantage of Distraction Free Evenings

利用无干扰的夜

Early risers rave about the productivity of the wee morning hours before the rest of us wake up. Late risers have a similar advantage on the other end. By working in the evening we can avoid the distractions of meetings, email, and other demands. For me, the evening is when I‘m able to break free from the outside world and immerse myself in mentally challenging work. Some people can‘t concentrate at night, but I‘vefound it‘s the easiest time get into creative work flow without

interruption.

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在我们起床前，早起的人会达到他们的效率高峰。晚起者也在其他方面有所优势。晚上工作能使我们不受会议、邮件和其他事情的干扰。对我来说，夜晚能使我从喧嚣的外部世界摆脱出来，是我完全沉浸在有挑战性的脑力工作中。有些人在夜里无法集中精力，但是我发现这是进入连续创造性工作流程的最简单的时间。

It‘s all about finding what works best for you. As a night person in his early 20′s with roommates who tend to keep late hours, I found early rising problematic. As I get older and my living situation evolves, it‘s entirely possible I‘ll join the 5 a.m. club. Until then I‘ll continue to take pride in being a highly productive night owl. 最重要的是找到最适合你的。作为一个20多岁多岁的小年轻，室友也多是夜猫子型，我觉得早起有困难。随着年龄的增长和生活状态的改变，我有很大可能会加入早晨5:00俱乐部。不过在那之前，我仍然为成为一个高效的夜猫子而自豪。

大学里不教但你必须学会的六项本领

When you go on to college, you do a bit of the same things, but you also learn to think analytically, critically, and to broaden your mind so to speak, but even people who graduate from college will learn lessons from the real world the hard way as well. The sad part is all of this could‘ve been prevented with some proper education beforehand.

当你在上大学的时候，你学到的东西大同小异，但是你的确也会学习如何理性分析，如何拥有批判性思维，以及如何开拓思想，学会说话的艺术等。然而，那些已经毕了业的学生们也不得不在社会大学中以更加惨烈的方式来学习一些必要的本领。让人感到伤心的是，这些本领其实在学校里就应该学起来了。

Below are six things that I firmly believe should be taught in every school so that students don‘t get railroaded when they enter the real world. If you‘re still in school and reading this, consider it your lucky day as mastering these six skills will give you a great head start and help separate you from the rest of the pack as well.

以下六个本领是我认为所有学校都应该教授的，这样当学生们真正进入社会的时候，就不会硬着陆了。如果你还是个学生，那就恭喜你读到了这篇文章，因为掌握了这六大本领会让你变得与众不同。

1. Personal Finance

1.个人理财

Every week or so, there always seems to be a new article in CNN, USA Today, or Yahoo about young adults struggling with debt, whether it be from credit cards or loans in general. High interest rates, hidden fees, not consolidating debt – these terms and concepts are mostly unknown to young adults and because of that

ignorance, they tend to make big errors in judgment. A prime example is thinking that they just have to pay the minimum on their balance and not realizing that by doing so, they pay 2-3 times as much in the long run.

大约每隔一周，在CNN、USA Today或者Yahoo上就会有一篇关于年轻人陷入债务危机的报道，不论是信用卡还是一般的债务。高额的利息、隐藏在背后的费用、不巩固债务状------------------------------------------ROBIN 19

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况——大多数年轻人对于这些都缺乏了解，而正因为这样的无知，他们会在做出判断时犯下致命的错误。一个典型的例子就是他们认为他们总是只需支还基于他们负债上的很小一部分，而没有意识到这在长期将会使他们最终要支付的利息多过2~3倍。

Alongside that, most young adults don‘t have a clue on how to invest their money. They don‘t know what a Roth IRA account is, or a 401k, or the magic of compound interest, the tax benefits associated with investing in these types of vehicles, etc. There‘s a lot of specialized knowledge out there that young adults are not aware of on when it comes to how they can invest their money and as a result, they

frivolously spend it away.

除此之外，大多数年轻人不明白如何来将他们的钱用于投资，他们不知道个人退休账户是什么，也不知道养老金计划是什么，也不知道复利的奇妙之处，同样不清楚购买某些汽车所能享受到的税费优惠，等等。在年轻人面对如何投资的问题时，他们所不了解的专业知识太多了，从而导致他们毫不谨慎地就把钱都花光了。

Even something as basic as creating a simple budget is beyond the grasp of some young adults and it simply amazes me that a lot of people don‘t do this and some don‘t even know how (you‘d be surprised). Figure out your income after taxes, pay yourself FIRST (this is a big one – most people pay the bills and frivolously spend the leftovers until next payday), see what you can cut out if things are tight, look to see where you can bring in more income if you need to do so, etc.

甚至像做一个简单的预算这样基础的工作对于一些年轻人来说都是超出他们的能力范围的，而且我很惊讶的发现很多人从来不做这个工作，有些人甚至都不知道这个（我猜你也会吃惊的）。算出你的税后收入是多少，然后首先给你自己支付一定的报酬（这将是很大的一笔，很多人在支付完账单后很轻率的把剩余的钱都用完了），如果生活不太宽裕的话看看能节省些什么，同样也注意一下如果你需要其他收入的话可以做些什么，等等。

2. Communicating Effectively

2.有效沟通

Communicating effectively is one of the most underrated, yet most powerful skills you can develop.

有效沟通是最被忽视却是你能培养的最有用的本领。

The biggest part in communicating effectively is preparing what you want to say beforehand. Keep it simple. What‘s my point? Why? Prepare a good example.

有效沟通最关键的是在于事前准备你想要说的是什么，这得简单明了，我的重点是什么，并准备一个好的例子。

Your best friend in communicating effectively are these two words: ―For example‖. Whenever you see a confused look on people‘s faces, your best response is

leading with those two words: For example. When you do that AND follow up with a relevant example, it allows the other person to ―frame‖ what you‘re talking about to get a better idea of what it is.

你在实现有效沟通时最有用的三个字是：―比如说‖。如果你发现别人的脸上出现了费解的------------------------------------------ROBIN 20

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神情，你最好的回应就是这三个字：比如说。如果你这样做了，并附以一个相关的例子来说明，别人会对于你所讲的有一个框架认识，并能够更好的理解那是什么。

Communicating effectively is one of THE MOST underrated and MOST valuable skills a person can have. And let me tell you on a personal level, there‘s nothing more refreshing than dealing with people who take the time to prepare what they have to say and back it up with clear examples. It‘s a very rare skill nowadays.

有效沟通是最容易被忽视的，也是一个人能够拥有的最有价值的本领之一。从我个人的角度来说，如果和一个花时间准备自己的观点并用清楚的例子加以说明的人打交道是一件再好不过的事情了。但是现如今，有这项本领的人已经很少了。

3. Social Skills

3. 社交本领

Closely related to communicating effectively are social skills in general. After you graduate, you‘re not going to be dealing with your high school or frat buddies

anymore. You‘ll be dealing with many people from different backgrounds, countries, and more importantly different age groups, so it would be wise to learn how to socialize outside your own group.

一般意义上来讲，社交本领就是紧密并有效的保持交流。当你毕业之后，你所要面对的就不再是你的中学同学或是哥们了。你将要面对的是有着各种背景的，可能是来自不同国家的，更重要的一点是不同年龄段的人群，因此学习怎样同你自己圈子以外的人打交道将是很明智的选择。

Cut the slang - Learn to respect customs from other countries.

别说俚语。学着尊重你的外国客户。

Learn how to listen – few people do. Learn when to speak and when NOT to. 学会倾听（现在很少有人这样），知道什么时候该讲话，什么时候不该。

Learn the art of networking – that‘s key. Networking is a big skill that‘s not taught enough in schools. Learn to compliment. Mingle. Make small talk.

学习建立人脉的艺术——这是十分重要的。建立人际网是很重要的一项本领，在学校里你是学不到的。学着恭维，学着合群，学着说些应酬话。

Learn to approach people – that‘s another big skill. Most people don‘t have the guts to take the first initiative and introduce themselves. Be the big man. Take the first step.

学会接近别人。这是另一项重要的本领。很多人没有胆量在初次见面的时候做自我介绍。做个勇敢的人，踏出第一步，学会让别人觉得你这个人不错。

4. Sales

4.推销

Obviously I‘m not advocating people becoming a salesman after school, but learning the art of selling is what I‘m advocating. If you think about it, we all sell everyday. We sell ideas to our boss. We sell to our friends when we pitch ideas on ------------------------------------------ROBIN 21

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what to do this weekend. We sell ourselves in job interviews. You could say that sales is a great combination of social skills and communicating effectively, but with some other components you should pick up that will be useful.

很明显我要提倡的不是让学生毕业之后去当一名推销员，而是去学习推销的艺术。如果你细细思考这个词，你会发现我们每天都在做着推销的工作。我们向我们的老板推销我们的想法，在有好点子的时候向朋友们推销周末的娱乐项目，在面试的时候推销自己。你可以说推销是社交本领和有效沟通的完美结合，但是如果掌握了其他的一些东西，会让你的推销更有效的：

Listen. Really listen. Actively listen.

Learn how to be convincing.

Be persuasive.

Think of objections and counter them ahead of time.

Stress benefits instead of features.

Listen to the other person. (yes I know it's a repeat, but it's for emphasis)

Develop empathy.

Think in terms of how you can help serve the other person.

倾听，是真的倾听、主动的倾听

学习如何让自己有说服力

让自己有鼓动性

事先设想可能会遇到的困难并在之前就解决它们

强调利益而不是特点

倾听别人（我知道这是重复的，但我只是想强调这一点）

拥有更多同情心

从你能够怎么样来服务他人的角度思考问题

Selling is one of the few skills that can be utilized in any job or career. It‘s one of the most important cross marketable skills you will ever develop.

推销是仅有的几个在任何职业中都有用的本领之一，是你能够培养的最有用的跨职业适用的本领之一。

5: Time Management

5.时间管理

Speaking of other skills that can be utilized in any job and career is time

management. The majority of students never really learn to value their time and manage it while in school. Procrastination is all too rampant (studying right before class, doing homework and essays the day it‘s due, partying the night before the exam). This lack of time management often carries over into adulthood, which becomes a major liability.

要说还有别的能在任何职业中都有用的本领，那就是时间管理了。大多数学生在学校中从没有真正认识到时间的价值，更不用说来管理了，拖拉现象太过泛滥了（在上课前的几分钟才开始预习，在要交作业或是论文的那天才匆匆赶任务，在考试的前一天晚上还开派对）。这种拖拖拉拉的习惯经常会带到他们成年的生活当中去，成为了一项重要的不足。 ------------------------------------------ROBIN 22

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Learn to make a to do list. Learn to prioritize. Learn to break things down into 30 minute blocks of time. Learn about actionable items.

学着制作一张计划表，学会区分哪些事情需要优先去做，学会把一项任务分解到30分钟内的每一分钟都需要做些什么，学会区分哪些事情有可操作性。

6: Health

6.健康

It‘s not enough to make students run a mile and play sports. Education is needed now more than ever. Education on the dangers of consuming too much fast food. Education on what diets in high sugar and fat can do to the body. Education on proper nutrition. Education on the importance of exercising regularly as well.

仅仅让学生跑个一英里然后做一些体育运动是不够的，这方面的教育是前所未有的重要的。学生们应该被告知过多食用快餐食品的危害、哪些食物的糖类和脂肪含量对人体会产生影响、合理营养、有规律进行运动的重要性等等。

I think if schools start teaching these kinds of things, we could nip so many

problems in the bud because most teenagers will not research this material on their own. If you have any friends or family who are still in school, please forward them this article. Think of it as a cheat sheet for the real world. You‘ll be doing them a great service and they will most definitely thank you after they graduate. I

guarantee it.

我想如果学校开始教授这些东西，那么很多问题都是可以避免的，因为年轻人自己是不会主动去查这些资料的。如果你有朋友或者是亲戚还是学生的话，请让他们来读一读这篇文章，就把这篇文章看作是带入现实社会的一本备忘录吧。你讲会给他们带来莫大的帮助，我敢保证他们也肯定会在毕业之后对你表示感谢的。

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