"The Story of an Hour"

Kate Chopin (1894)

Knowing that Mrs. Mallard was afflicted with a heart trouble, great care was taken to break to her as gently as possible the news of her husband's death. 知道马兰德夫人（Mrs. Mallard）的心脏很衰弱，他们尽可能小心冀冀把她丈夫死亡的消息告诉她。

大家都知道马兰德夫人的心脏有毛病，所以在把她丈夫的死讯告诉她时都是小心翼翼的，尽可能地温和委婉。

两个译文都很好地处理了这边的主动与转换为被动。英文的被动句经常用汉语主动句表达。译文2用因果关系承接显得自然极了。

It was her sister Josephine who told her, in broken sentences; veiled hints that revealed in half concealing. Her husband's friend Richards was there, too, near her. It was he who had been in the newspaper office when intelligence of the railroad disaster was received, with Brently Mallard's name leading the list of "killed." He had only taken the time to assure himself of its truth by a second telegram, and had hastened to forestall any less careful, less tender friend in bearing the sad message.

玛兰德的姐姐，约瑟芬(Josephine)，用不连贯的语言，遮遮掩掩地给她一些暗示。她丈夫的朋友，理查兹(Richards)也在那儿，就在她身边。在列有布伦特·马兰德(Brently Mallard)名字的火车事故遇难者的消息名单传来时，理查德正好在报社里。紧接其后的电报，使他在最快的时间里证明了消息的可靠性。他必须赶在那些不太心细，不太温柔的朋友之前把这个不幸的消息带回来。

坏消息是由她姐姐约瑟芬告诉她的，连话都没说成句，只敢遮遮掩掩地向她暗示。她丈夫的朋友理查兹也在场，就在她的身旁。当火车事故的消息传来的时候，理查兹正好在报社里，遇难者名单上布兰特雷·马兰德的名字排在首位。他只等到紧接其后的第二份电报证明了消息的真实性后，就急忙赶在了那些不太心细也不太温柔的朋友之前先把这个不幸的消息带了回来。

1：这儿的译文2很好地和上文承接，上文以坏消息结束，而这段以坏消息开头挺好的。但是总体上看第一个译文好些，用人（玛兰德的姐姐）作主语，符合中文的用法。

2： “在那儿”&“在场”, “在身边”& “在她身边”,我觉得听起来第一个口吻比较像是在说一个故事，口语化。

She did not hear the story as many women have heard the same, with a paralyzed inability to accept its significance. She wept at once, with sudden, wild abandonment, in her sister's arms. When the storm of grief had spent itself

she went away to her room alone. She would have no one follow her.

她没有像别的女人那样，带着麻木接受的神情听这个故事。她近似绝望地扑倒在姐姐的怀里嚎啕大哭，泪如泉涌。当这暴风雨般的悲伤过去后，她独自一人回到了自己的房间，不让任何人跟着她。

她不像许多别的女人那样，只是带着麻木接受的神情听着这个故事，而是立刻疯狂而绝望地扑倒在姐姐的怀里泪如泉涌。当这暴风雨般的悲伤过去后，她独自回到了自己的房间里，不让任何人跟着她

第一个译文会产生歧义，让人感觉是 “别的女人带着麻木接受的神情”,译文二很好地处理了这一点。译文二中的“泪如泉涌”只是描写了一个状态，我觉得译文一的效果会好些，“嚎啕大哭，泪如泉涌”动词描写了当时的哭泣程度之深。

There stood, facing the open window, a comfortable, roomy armchair. Into this she sank, pressed down by a physical exhaustion that haunted her body and seemed to re

ach into her soul.

窗户对面，放着一把舒服的大扶手椅，她疲惫不堪地沉了进去。这种疲惫，折磨着她的身体，似乎也正浸入她的灵魂。

窗户是开着的，对面放着一把舒服的大扶手椅，她筋疲力尽地沉了进去。这种疲惫不仅折磨着她的身体，似乎也浸入了她的灵魂。

我觉得“沉”字用得并不好，不符合中文的表达，“sink”有“坐下，倒下”的意思，在这译为“她筋疲力尽，倒在了扶椅上”。

这边采用了分译的方法，把原文拆开分成几个中文短句，易于阅读。另外，译文二添加了一对关联词，“不仅…….也”很好地表达了她的疲惫程度。

She could see in the open square before her house the tops of trees that were all aquiver with the new spring life. The delicious breath of rain was in the air. In the street below a peddler was crying his wares. The notes of a distant song which some one was singing reached her faintly, and countless sparrows were twittering in the eaves.

她看到了屋外广场上，充满新春气息的树梢是那么的兴奋。空气中弥漫着芬芳的雨的气息。窗户下面的街道上，小贩正在叫卖他的器皿。远处传来缥缈的歌声，数不清的麻雀也在屋檐下叽叽喳喳地唱个不停。

透过窗口，她可以看到屋前广场上的树梢在新春的气息中兴奋地颤抖着。空气中弥漫着芬芳的雨的气息。窗下的街道上，一个小贩正在叫卖他的器皿。远处依稀传来缥缈的歌声，数不清的麻雀也在屋檐下叽叽喳喳地唱个不停。

1.译文二此处显得生硬了，译文一的：“她看到了屋外广场上，充满新春气息的树梢是那么的兴奋”显得自然些。

2.“faintly”在这由副词转换成了形容词，也是英译汉常用的手法之一。

There were patches of blue sky showing here and there through the clouds that had met and piled one above the other in the west facing her window. 对着她窗户的西边天空上，层层叠叠的云朵之间，露着一绺一绺的蔚蓝色的天空。 对着她窗口西边的天空上，云朵层层叠叠地堆积着，间或露出一绺绺蔚蓝的天空。 She sat with her head thrown back upon the cushion of the chair, quite motionless, except when a sob came up into her throat and shook her, as a child who has cried itself to sleep continues to sob in its dreams.

她把头靠在椅背上，非常地平静。除了像个孩子自己哭着睡着了，还继续呜咽一样，她也偶尔地呜咽一下，这使她有点颤抖。

她把头靠在椅背上，非常地平静。除了偶尔会呜咽一两声，使她有点颤抖，就像小孩子哭着睡着了，但在梦中还会继续呜咽一样。

译文二比较正确地传达了原文的意思。

She was young, with a fair, calm face, whose lines bespoke repression and even a certain strength. But now there was a dull stare in her eyes, whose gaze was fixed away off yonder on one of those patches of blue sky. It was not a glance of reflection, but rather indicated a suspension of intelligent thought. 她很年青，她那白皙、安详的脸上线条，显示着一种压抑甚或说是一种力量。但是现在，她那凝望蓝天的双眸，目光茫然，甚或有点呆滞。这并不是匆匆沉思的一瞥，而是一种长久的深思熟虑。

她还很年青，白皙而安详的脸上的线条，显示着一种压抑甚或说是一种力量。但是现在，她的目光有些阴郁，呆呆地凝望着远处白云间的绺绺蓝天。这并不是匆匆的一瞥，而是一种长久的深思熟虑。

译文二明显在第一句的处理上好些，“白皙而安详的脸上的线条”用了一个“而”字很好地连接了两个修饰词，同时它也多用了一个“的”字很自然，读起来较为顺口。

There was something coming to her and she was waiting for it, fearfully. What was it? She did not know; it was too subtle and elusive to name. But she felt it, creeping out of the sky, reaching toward her through the sounds, the scents, the color that filled the air.

有一种感觉正在向她靠近，那正是她带着恐惧等待的。是什么？她不知道。这种感觉太微妙，太难以捉摸，她说不清楚。但她感觉得到它，它正在空中蔓延，穿过弥漫于空气中的声音、气味和颜色慢慢地靠近她。

有一种感觉正在向她靠近，那正是她带着恐惧等待的。是什么？她不知道。这种感觉太微妙，太难以捉摸，她说不清楚。但她感觉得到，它正在空中蔓延，穿过弥漫于空气中的声音、气味和颜色慢慢地向她靠近。

Now her bosom rose and fell tumultuously. She was beginning to recognize this thing that was approaching to possess her, and she was striving to beat it

back with her will--as powerless as her two white slender hands would have been. When she abandoned herself a little whispered word escaped her slightly parted lips. She said it over and over under the breath: "free, free, free!" The vacant stare and the look of terror that had followed it went from her eyes. They stayed keen and bright. Her pulses beat fast, and the coursing blood warmed and relaxed every inch of her body.

现在，她内心骚动不安。她开始认识到那种向她步步进逼、并且渐渐地控制他的感觉是什么。她努力地想用自己的意志力把这种感觉打回去，但是她的意志力就像她那两只纤细、白皙的双手一样的无力。当她任那种感觉肆意发展的时候，从她微微张开的双唇间喃喃地溢出一个词。她屏住呼吸一遍又一遍地重复着：“自由，自由，自由！”随着那种感觉而来的茫然的目光和恐惧的神色从他的眼里消失了。现在，她的目光透着机敏，炯炯有神。她的心跳加快，热血温暖了身体的每一个部位，使她感到身心放松。

现在，她内心骚动不安。她开始认识到那种向她步步进逼并渐渐地控制她的感觉是什么了。她努力地想用自己的意志力把这种感觉打回去——可是她意志就像她那白皙纤弱的双手一样软弱无力。 当她稍稍放松了抵抗的时候，从她微微张开的双唇间喃喃地溢出一个词。她屏住呼吸一遍又一遍地重复着：“自由，自由，自由！”随着那种感觉而来的茫然的目光和恐惧的神色从她的眼里消失了。现在，她的目光透着机敏，炯炯有神。她的心跳加快，沸腾的热血温暖了身体的每一个部位，使她感到身心完全地放松了

同样这边用到了被动与主动的转换

两译文在此外增添了“现在”引起读者注意，让人思维回到此刻。

“every inch of ”在这译文二忠实于原文，用了完全，而译文一则没有表达这层意思。

She did not stop to ask if it were or were not a monstrous joy that held her.

A clear and exalted perception enabled her to dismiss the suggestion as trivial. She knew that she would weep again when she saw the kind, tender hands folded in death; the face that had never looked save with love upon her, fixed and gray and dead. But she saw beyond that bitter moment a long procession of years to come that would belong to her absolutely. And she opened and spread her arms out to them in welcome.

她没有片刻去想她此刻拥有的这种欢愉，是否不正当。（直译和意译）一种清清楚楚的、兴奋的感觉燃烧着她（增译），她根本无暇去顾及那些个琐事。她知道，当她见到丈夫那双温柔、亲切的双手变得僵硬，那张从来都不会对她吝啬爱意的脸变得毫无表情、灰白如纸的时候，她肯定还会哭的。但在这痛苦之外，她看到了长远的未来，那些只属于她自己的未来岁月。她张开双臂去迎接那此岁月。

她没有停下来问问自己，是不是有一种邪恶的快感在控制着她。一种清清楚楚的、兴奋的感觉让她根本无暇去顾及那些个琐事 她知道，当她见到丈夫那双温柔亲切的双手变得僵硬，那张从不会对她吝啬爱意的脸变得毫无表情、灰白如纸的时候，她肯定还会哭的。但在这痛苦之外，她看到了长远的未来，那些只属于她自己的未来岁月。而她张开双臂去迎接那些岁月。

1.“她没有片刻去想她此刻拥有的这种欢愉，是否不正当。”“她没有停下来问问自己，是不是有一种邪恶的快感在控制着她”两个译文在此处理“monstrous”的方法明显不一，译文一把其放在了句末：是否正当。而译文二并没有改变词性，仍译为形容词。相比之下译文一用了意译，而译文二用了直译，我觉得在这用意译会更好些。而译文一就正确地表达了原文的意思。

2.在最后一句的“And ”我觉得还是译出来比较好，而不应该省略，但是译文二译为“而”，我觉得并不恰当，其表示的应该是一个因果关系，是因为看到未来的岁月才张开双臂。我以为译为“于是”比较恰当。

There would be no one to live for during those coming years; she would live for herself. There would be no powerful will bending hers in that blind

persistence with which men and women believe they have a right to impose a private will upon a fellow-creature. A kind intention or a cruel intention made the act seem no less a crime as she looked upon it in that brief moment of illumination.

在未来的岁月里，她不再活着只是为了别人，而只为她自己。那时，她不必再盲目地屈从于任何专横的意志。人们总是相信他们有权把群体的意志强加于个人意志之上。无论其动机的善良与否，她突然感到这种做法绝不亚于犯罪。

在未来的岁月里，她不再为了别人而活着，而只为她自己。那时，她不必再盲目地屈从于任何专横的意志。人们总是相信他们有权把个人的意志强加于他人。无论其动机是善良的还是残酷的，她突然感到这种做法绝不亚于犯罪。

我以为上文斜体部分两个译文都没有译好。“因为那时，不论男女都以为自己有权把个人意志强加于自己的伴侣。也因为这样她便不必再盲从地屈服于任何人”

And yet she had loved him--sometimes. Often she had not. What did it matter! What could love， the unsolved mystery, count for in the face of this possession of self-assertion which she suddenly recognized as the strongest impulse of her being!

是的，她曾经爱她——有时爱他。更多的时候，她并不爱她。那有什么关系！爱情这神秘的玩意，在她突然拥有了自我，就是做回她自己的的强烈火冲动的时候，有什么意义呢？ 当然，她是爱过他的——有时候是爱他的。但经常是不爱他的。那又有什么关系呢！有了独立的意志——她突然意识到这是她身上最强烈的一种冲动，爱情这未有答案的神秘事物又算得了什么呢！

1.译文的二“又”字好极了。

2.我觉得这段这样译的好：“她突然间感觉到自身最强烈的冲动，那就是拥有自我。比起拥有自我来，爱情，这个让人难以破解的迷团，又算得了什么呢？”

"Free! Body and soul free!" she kept whispering.

“自由！身体和灵魂的自由！”她不断地呢喃着。

“自由了！身心都自由了！”她不住地悄悄低语着。

多了一个“了”字才比较符合此时主人公的心态，语气应该是有些拖长的。

Josephine was kneeling before the closed door with her lips to the keyhole, imploring for admission. "Louise, open the door! I beg; open the door--you will make yourself ill. What are you doing, Louise? For heaven's sake open the door."

她姐姐约瑟芬跪在紧闭的门前，把嘴贴在锁空上，恳求着让她进来。“路易斯，开门！我求你了，把门打开——你会使自己生病的。你在干什么，路易斯？看在上帝的份上，把门打开。”

约瑟芬跪在紧闭的门外，嘴唇对着锁孔，苦苦地哀求着让她进去。“露易丝，开开门！求求你啦，开开门——你这样会得病的。（口语化，自然而又不饶舌）你干什么哪，露易丝？看在上帝的份儿上，开开门吧！

译文一的“你在干什么，路易斯？看在上帝的份上，把门打开。”并无哀求的味道，让人感觉像是在命令，对一个失去理智的人说这样的话显然是不可能的；而译文二中的“露易丝，开开门！求求你啦，开开门——你这样会得病的。”口语化，自然而又不饶舌。

"Go away. I am not making myself ill." No; she was drinking in a very elixir of life through that open window.

“走开。我不会使自己生病的。”不会的，她正陶醉在窗外那不息的生命里。 “走开。我不会让自己生病的。”不会的，她正陶醉在窗外那不息的生命里。

Her fancy was running riot along those days ahead of her. Spring days, and summer days, and all sorts of days that would be her own. She breathed a quick prayer that life might be long. It was only yesterday she had thought with a shudder that life might be long.

她的想像像脱僵的野马一样狂奔着。她想像着未来的日子，春天的日子，夏天的日子，所有将属于她自己的日子。她祈祷着长寿，而就在昨天，她还那么肯定地嫌生命太漫长。 她的想象像脱僵的野马一样狂奔着。她想象着未来的日子，春天的日子，夏天的日子，所有将属于她自己的日子。她快速地祈祷着生命能够更加长久，而就在昨天，一想到生命那么漫长她就瑟瑟发抖。

我觉得这样译比较好: “现在，她迫不及待地祈求长寿；然而就在昨天，一想到生命的漫长她还不禁颤栗。”通过两个时间词“现在”，“昨天”，顺带出了两种截然不同的情感。 She arose at length and opened the door to her sister's importunities. There was a feverish triumph in her eyes, and she carried herself unwittingly like a

goddess of Victory. She clasped her sister's waist, and together they descended the stairs. Richards stood waiting for them at the bottom.

最后，在她姐姐的强烈要求下，她站起来，把门打开。她的眼里充满了兴奋和胜利，她不知道自己看起来就像胜女神一样。她搂住姐姐的腰，一起走下楼梯。理查兹站在下面等他们。

她终于站了起来，在她姐姐的强求下，打开了门。她眼睛里充满了胜利的激情，她的举止不知不觉竟像胜利女神一样。她紧搂着姐姐的腰，一起走下楼去。理查兹正站在下面等着她们。

翻译的顺序，我觉得此名的比下个译文好，站起和开门是连贯发生的，都是在姐姐要求之后发生的，而并非站起，姐姐要求，再开门。

Some one was opening the front door with a latchkey. It was Brently Mallard who entered, a little travel-stained, composedly carrying his grip-sack and umbrella. He had been far from the scene of the accident, and did not even know there had been one. He stood amazed at Josephine's piercing cry; at

Richards' quick motion to screen him from the view of his wife.（？怎么译好？） 有人用钥匙打开了前门。进来的正是布伦特·马兰德，他有点风尘仆仆，手提旅行袋和雨伞。他离事发现场很远，他甚至不知道发生了车祸。他愣在那儿，对约瑟芬的尖叫感到吃惊，对理查德快速地把他挡在他妻子的视线外感到吃惊。

但是理查兹已经太迟了。

有人正在用钥匙打开大门。进来的是布兰特雷·马兰德，虽略显旅途劳顿，但泰然自若地提着他的大旅行包和伞。事发当时他离现场很远，甚至根本就不知道发生了车祸。他愣在那儿，对约瑟芬的尖叫感到吃惊，对理查兹快速地把他挡在他妻子的视线外更感到吃惊。 但是理查兹还是太迟了。

我觉得在这译文一中没有很好地传达出当时布兰特雷·马兰德不知情的泰然，而且一个“他”字有些多余。而译文二在这却略胜一筹。

When the doctors came they said she had died of heart disease--of the joy that kills.

医生赶来时，他们说她死于心脏病——死于无法承受的高兴！

医生来后，他们说她是死于心脏病——说她是死于极度高兴。

总的来说第二个译文比第一个译文来得自然。