Gone girl, gone love
Nick Dunne: When I think of my wife, I always think of the back of her head. I picture cracking her lovely skull, unspooling her brain, trying to get answers. The primal questions of a marriage: What are you thinking? How are you feeling? What have we done to each other?
I was thrilled and shocked by the first part of this movie. It seems that the husband wants to kill his wife to find out the truth in her mind. And then in the movie it introduce how they met at a party, which is surely an amazing story. In china, I think, the movie may have a beautiful endings that they have several smart babies and live a happy life. But in this movie, the man betray her finally and the wife design a “game” for revenge. They are both in deep sorrow at the end. So I am wandering what is marriage about on earth ?
First and foremost, maybe marriage is a contract, and some rules people have to follow. As a English prose says :” love is holding hands in the street; marriage is holding arguments in the street.” Sometimes we can not control everything and quarrel can not be avoided., Everyone should have the responsibility to take care of each other when a girl or boy is chosen to be the partner. The husband should not fall in love with other girls when he had already married. I can’t Imagine what a happy life they should live if he can be responsible for his wife.
What’s more, marriage is a game, and people should know the art of it. The seed of high quality will die young without a lot of care and attention and so does the marriage. Learn how to protect marriage is the most important thing in life. Nobody is perfect. One should try to accept the mistakes the other one make. When there are misunderstandings, people should communicate with each other as soon as possible. Nick should have courage to solve the problems by talking with Amy . At the same time, people should learn how to tolerate others and express our feelings in an appropriate way.
In addition, marriage shouldn’t be a wall between two people. It is not easy for couples to be married . Why not cherish the other one who loved you and supported you unconditionally even they had. There will be surely a negative outcome, if only one person keeps desperately the marriage, or both sides treat it with indifference. In fact, women are inclined to protect marriage in all kinds of methods, which sometimes push their husbands further away .
Last but not least, try to make marriage full of love. A study shows that the massage from a loved one can not only ease pain but also soothe depression and strengthen a relationship. Love is attractive, however, hate means pain. Hate, not only a bad emotion but also joy and happiness once may become the most painful memories. So it is wise for people to learn how to love. In my opinion, a couple both sides
maintain it together with mutual respect, understanding and communication is vital for a harmony and permanence marriage.
To sum up, in my mind, Chinese people are more honest and responsible for their family. So we should be confident to our life and marriage in the future. I believe that the both sides in love will be mature in the conflict of life and finally build up an ordinary and true happiness in both life and work as long as they try utmost to protect the love.
而离开主线的一些细枝末节的设定，才是此片真正的重点：
比如亲子关系上，如果我们认为Amy是因为作为其父母创作的儿童读物原型的设定，使得她的自我认同发生偏差，常常混淆虚构和真实，或者将两者等同起来，从而导致了她的疯狂，那么我们就忽略了一个基本的事实，即人生如戏，戏如人生。
从认知论来说，人的自我意识以及行为都是从模仿和角色扮演开始，在生活中不断排练成为定势。而教育和经历不过是为人提供了更广阔的舞台，更多元的剧本。因而站在教育和社会顶端的人，必定是出色的演员：在保留节目中的角色越多元，人就越社会化，越能适应更多的挑战，拥有更多的应对解决不同问题的方法。
从此讲来Amy及其父母的公众人物身份，以及在亲密关系中的冷漠和表演，不过是种比喻，并试图给这群本应代表“社会良心”的中产精英的冷漠和虚伪做合理化和去道德化的分析。 体现之一为Amy在看到Nick接受采访时的表演所表现出的激动，是因为她狂喜于Nick即使是虚伪的示爱吗？大概不全是。婚姻后Amy最失望的不是爱情渐淡，自己对丈夫失去了吸引力。而是非中产出身的Nick放弃了表演，放弃了中产精英对智力游戏精神追求，转而进入“自暴自弃”的他所熟悉的普通人的吃喝拉撒的生活状态。Nick在和姐姐以及警察的互动中能看到他的真实，这种真实却让Amy及其父母所代表的中产精英难以接受，因为过于朴实乏味，过于缺乏雕琢，过于粗暴而缺乏美感。在节目上的表演，标志着他重新进入Amy的虚构游戏，重拾中产角色。无论是自愿或者被迫，作为伙伴还是敌人，这都另Amy兴奋，因为这是她熟悉的战场。
这群没有承担社会良心，却掌握着社会话语和诠释的中产精英，被脱产的空虚和无聊被激起了创造性，编制了各种各样纷繁复杂的幻想和虚构的精神产物，联合媒体将社会构陷于解析泥沼，并且自己欢欣鼓舞的在于其中沉浮。这当然是对信息时代每一次媒体狂欢的讽刺。
而对此受众的反应大概是三种：卖鸡肉女看到的商机，密苏里邻居怀孕妇女的痴迷，和出租房邻居失足少女的透彻和抵制。除了各色人物用新闻故事为自己私利服务外，另外一种对媒体狂欢的推动从美国开始也渐渐向全球蔓延，那就是群众的狂热。在美国主流的中产价值语境诠释下和精英们的操纵和话语导向下，Amy的“悲惨遭遇”使怀孕妇女所代表的狂热群众深陷Amy的故事不能自拔，简直以寻求“事实真相”为己任，联合片中无处不在的和记者一起，构成羊羔式受众图谱。
与之相对的，失足少女在底层的经历、女刑警的侦查经验使得她们具有锐利的自我思考和判断辨别的能力。中产价值导向缺位的语境下，失足少女几次一语戳破Amy对于自己幻想的的沉迷，甚至凶残突破Amy的伪装防线，将Amy逼入真正的绝望境地时，Amy在婚姻中另人同情的受害人的身份也显得苍白而薄弱了。少女在离开的时候说：在这社会上有比我们坏得多的人，我们只是比你更需要钱。这无疑是整部电影唯一的真话。
芬奇在此结构上，不光由主情节的推动，更多的借用制造影像和旁白的冲突来强调众人口述版本的虚构性，是一个结构性的比喻：我们对真实的意识和观感究竟多大程度上受掌握话语权的他者的支配，人类又能在多大程度上有独立思考和自主意识的能力。为什么我们常常忽略自己的直观感受、判断，而选择倾听和接受他人的诠释声音，而这些声音又都从哪里产生。最后，人能不能逃离这些声音的控制。
芬奇当然给出了答案：不能。这才有了片尾十五分钟的纠结和茫然。Nick在经历一切之后仍旧选择和Amy在一起，并且放弃自我立场，决意进入和Amy共同战斗的状态，很多人表示不解，包括Nick的孪生姐姐。
但道理很简单，无须过度诠释：真相就是无聊的，真实的生活就像女学生的胸，生理欲望满
足过后甚至不想再多看一眼。为了逃离这无聊人们需要刺激，这就是为什么我们需要虚构，这就是为什么我们需要电影，这就是为什么我们在没有繁衍欲望的情况下任然渴望浪漫爱情。