雅思写作：中英式写作范文对比

雅思写作 雅思托福技巧 雅思写作-美联国际教育 雅思写作：中英式写作范文对比

2014-02-25 17:00 类别：雅思口语 来源：enguo 责编：meten

写作通常是容易拿高分的地方，但要真拿到高分，也必须花点心思。我看到有些学生的情况，很是替他们着急，所以请他们认真看看再比较一下以下两篇文章，定会有很大启发的。

以下两篇文章都是essay类型。内容也一样，都是讨论骑自行车的好处。“bicycle”是中国人写的考试范文，“why cycle?”是一个英国人为“号召伦敦人多用自行车”的活动写给网上读者的。请大家注意下面几个方面：

一 用词

“bicycle”作者的用词是中国式的。从题目就可以看出来。骑自行车的通常说法是 “cycling” 或“riding a bike”,骑自行车的人是“bicyclist”或“cyclist”。如果根据作者的标题，不应该是讨论骑自行车的问题，应该是讨论自行车本身诸如发明、改进、用途、价格、式样、功能等问题。文中其他的用词，大家可以自己找。

二 句式

“bicycle”的作者句式单一，几乎就是一个又一个简单句顺序排列，而且少有用形容词和副词修饰句子，使句子过于平淡。重点不突出，句式无起伏，词汇有限，并在文章中重复使用，如：“骑自行车”，作者仅用“bicycles”或“riding bikes”或“they”造简单句。而“why cycle?”的作者用同样的词对句子做各种修饰。虽然文体是essay, 但因为是登在网上的，要照顾各个层次的读者，所以作者的句式和用词都趋于简单，但并不单调。

雅思写作 雅思托福技巧 雅思写作-美联国际教育 三 文章结构

“bicycle”作者的思路是清晰的，但表达不明确，所以造成结构混乱的感觉，考试时会吃亏的。

下面就是这两篇文章。

中国作者的Bicycle (摘自51雅思论坛上网友的习作)

Bicycles have become more and more popular in China. People ride bikes to their work places, to shopping areas, to schools, and so on. During the rush hours, you can often see a boiling sea of bicycles running in all

directions. With the largest number of bike riders in the world, China is often referred to as the kingdom of bicycles.(主题句不明显，不知道作者想要说什么：自行车越来越流行，要讨论流行趋势?自行车那么多，要讨论自行车对城市的影响?中国是自行车王国，要讨论中国的自行车历史? )

Compared with cars, bikes have many advantages(这应该是主题句，在这么短的文章里应该放在第一段). First, they are not very expensive, and almost every family can afford them. (这句话分成2个句子比较好，一句是key point,一句做进一步解释)Second, they are very handy and convenient though they are not so fast as cars. With a bike, you can go anywhere you like, and you don't have to look for a large parking place. By riding bikes, you can avoid traffic jams and thus save the time and the money for taking taxis(同第一点一样，但这一点思路有些乱). Third, they do not cause air or sound pollution(没有解释，这一点肯定拿不到好分数). 

雅思写作 雅思托福技巧 雅思写作-美联国际教育

 

第二篇：雅思写作-小作文范文-饼图

雅思考试优秀作文范文：是否禁烟？

Version 122 Some people claim that using tobacco has brought severe social problems and smoking should be banned. To what extent do you agree with the

above statement?

Introduction (56 words)

Since the discovery of tobacco related to a number of health problems, an increasing number of people have called for prohibiting smoking. It is undeniable that still a considerable amount of smokers exist in this world. I would like to examine the advantages and disadvantages of smoking cigarettes as following and then offer my own opinion.

Body1(95words)

There are some advantages to taking tobacco.(topic sentence) First, tobacco industry contributes a great proportion of revenue to the nation. Extremely high taxation imposed on tobacco yielding and cigarette manufacturing has released the financial burden for both the government and the individual taxpayer

generation by generation. Second, the soothing effects of smoking has been confirmed by ordinary smokers; particularly those who have hard-brain-working jobs are in favor of it; they claim that smoking cigarettes can make them calm and stimulate brain cells to work more efficiently. Finally, cigarettes play an important role in social activities.

Body2 (106words)

On the other hand, smoking demonstrates numerous negative effects.(topic sentence) Initially, nicotine may bring takers a number of diseases. Second-hand smoking also does harm to your health. Moreover, hatred from non-smokers always grow against smokers hence some conflicts arise frequently. We then look at the statistics showing that thousands of fire accidents worldwide occur each year due to the litter of non-extinguished cigarette ends, not to mention the related deaths and losses. Last but not least, expenses have to be taken \into\ consideration. Fine cigarettes are not cheap. If you get addicted to them, your daily amount of cigarette consumption will increase inevitably, emptying your pocket money.

Conclusion(88words)

After all, so far no direct evidence has been provided that smoking can definitely result in takers' death of lung cancer, and those fire accidents are the result of carelessness or irresponsibility of the smokers, not tobacco to be laid blames. Also, spending pocket money can never be considered as a financial burden. In addition, I suggest more restricted smoking areas be planned so as not to violate non-smokers' rights. After weighing the pros and cons of using tobacco, I, for one, am against the act to ban smoking.

声明：本范文为赖老师专供无忧雅思作品，转载请注明作者和出处！范文仅供参考，切不可背诵，否则可能得非常低的分数，甚至0分。

(作者：广州仲恺雅思培训中心专职教师赖劲松)

雅思范文：疾病治疗与预防

Prevention is better than cure: Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures.

The rising costs of health care have become an issue for many countries in the world. To deal with this

problem, it is recommended that a big part of the state health budget be used for health education and disease prevention instead of treatment.

First of all, many kinds of diseases are preventable and preventing a disease is usually much cheaper than treating it. For example, people could prevent catching a cold if they dress warmly and get good rest when the weather first gets cold in the winter. But many people get sick because they fail to do so and have to spend much more money seeing a doct123 Another case in point is cancer, the leading cause of death in the world. But lung cancer, liver cancer and many other kinds of cancer could all be effectively prevented if people take measures for their health in an early stage. Small things such as smoking less or eating more healthy food would have kept millions of families from becoming bankrupt if the patients took measures for early cancer prevention.

In addition, health education also plays a key role in improving people’s health. By giving people more information about health, countries could help people understand the importance of disease prevention and ways to achieve it.

However, emphasizing on disease prevention is not downplaying the significance of medical treatment. After all, prevention and treatment are just two different means toward the same e12

In conclusion, we could save money in health care and treat patients more successfully if our country uses more money on health prevention and education.

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