提案报告写作Report and Technical Writing-Proposal
Report and Technical Writing-- Proposals
I. Checking the Exercises of “Analytical Reports”
1. What are the major differences between informational reports and analytical reports? (Ex. 1 on p.94)
Informational reports help the management collect information about corporate operations. Like informational reports, analytical reports collect and present data, but their emphasis is on analyzing, drawing conclusion and proposing recommendation.
2. What is the difference in function between a recommendation report and a feasibility report?
The function of a recommendation report is to persuade the management to accept the decision and take action. Unlike recommendation report, the function of a feasibility report is not to persuade the management to accept 1
the decision, but to make it believe that the decision is correct.
II. Introduction
A proposal is a document written to persuade readers to adopt a plan or a course of action. The readers may be colleagues within your organization or potential customers outside the organization. A proposal can be produced for internal or external use.
A proposal may be solicited or
unsolicited. It is solicited when you are asked by your superior to submit it. It is unsolicited when you decide on your own to submit the proposal to the superior without waiting for anyone to ask you to do so.
Because a proposal offers a plan to fill a need, readers will evaluate your plan based on how well you answer the following questions:
? What is the existing problem that
the proposal addresses?
? What do you propose to do?
2
What is the benefit of what you propose?
? How do you plan to do it?
? When do you plan to do it? ? How much will it cost?
To answer these questions effectively, make certain that your proposal is organized and written to address the needs of your entire audience. You will likely have more than one reader because proposals often require more than one level of approval. As you assess your readers, take into account their role in the organization.
III. Organization (Structure) of a proposal
An internal proposal, often in memo form, is sent to a superior within your organization who has the authority to accept or reject the proposal. An internal proposal generally follows a three-part organization:
? Introduction
? Body
? Conclusion
3 ?
1. Introduction
The introduction of your internal proposal should establish that a problem exists and needs a solution. After you identify the problem, summarize your proposed solution and indicate its benefit and estimated total cost.
2. Body
The body of your internal proposal should offer a practical solution to the problem and provide the details necessary to inform and persuade your readers. You should pay attention to the following information:
1) Sufficient background
information to describe the extent of the problem
2) The methods to be used in
achieving the proposed solution
3) Information about equipment,
materials, and staff requirements
4) A breakdown of costs
5) A schedule for completing the 4
project, possibly broken down into separate tasks.
3. Conclusion
The conclusion of your internal proposal should tie everything together, restate your recommendation, and close with a spirit of cooperation. Keep your conclusion brief.
IV. Common Proposals and Samples
1. Business Proposals
A business proposal is a kind of analytical report, written to persuade the audience to follow a plan or a course of action.
Readers evaluate your proposal based on what you are proposing to do, how and when you are planning to do it, or how much it will cost. Therefore your proposal must be persuasive. Besides offering what you propose to do, you should emphasize the benefit your reader can get and your capability to fulfill your promise.
For details of organizations (introduction, 5
body and conclusion), read pp.107 and 108 of Xian. For a sample of business proposal presented in the memo format, look at p.106 of Xian.
2. Research Proposal
A project starts with planning based on research that leads to the writing of a feasibility report. A feasibility study requires preliminary research work. The writer at this stage may or may not have clear visualization of what lies ahead. If he /she has, it is still a hypothesis or proposition that awaits proof and verification. So he/she has to do some research, sometimes involving laboratory tests. If, on the other hand, he/she does not know much about what it will turn out to be, he/she has to do some research. In any case, a research proposal is necessary for a project, big or small, to initiate.
6
Structure of a research proposal
Note that in many aspects a research proposal can differ from a research report. Now look at the structure of a research report:
7
8
? NB: “Description of the analysis” in Part Three can be overlapped with “Narration of the procedures” in Part Two. “Conclusions and Recommendations” can be split into two parts.
9
V. Assignment III
1. What is the difference between a solicited proposal and an unsolicited proposal?
2. What are the major characteristics of a business proposal?
3. What are the three parts that make up the organization (structure) of a proposal?
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第二篇：Scientific and Technical Writing 科技英语写作
Scientific and Technical Writing
Contents
Chapter One: Types and Formats of Scientific and Technical Writing
Section One: Types of Scientific and Technical Writing (P2)
Section Two: Formats of Scientific and Technical Writing (P3)
Chapter Two: The Process of Scientific and Technical Writing
Section One: Writing Approach (P20)
Section Two: Writing Process (P20)
Chapter Three: Tips for Scientific and Technical Writing
Section One: The Characteristics of Scientific and Technical Writing (P32)
Section Two: The Organization and Development of Scientific and Technical
Writing (P35)
Chapter Four: Oral Communication
Section One: Meeting People (P42)
Section Two: Attending Lectures (P43)
Section Three: Presentation of Researching Information (P44)
Chapter One: Types and Formats of Scientific and Technical Writing
Section One: Types of Scientific and Technical Writing
1. Memo Reports
The memo report is the most common and prevalent type of technical writing found in industry today. It is an informal report and is strictly an internal type of communication. The key to writing effective memo reports is brevity and simplicity.
2. Formal Reports
Formal reports are the comprehensive documentation of major technical projects. By the nature of their scope and importance, they tend to be long and detailed. The actual scope and complexity of any particular formal report will depend on the substance of the report itself. Most formal reports are outside reports from one company to another. They cover many of the same subjects as inside memo-reports. The format varies greatly, depending on the company’s standards and the nature of the report.
3. Proposals
A proposal is a selling document that advocates the purchase of a company’s products or services. It can also come from within a single company and advocate the purchase of equipment or hiring of additional personnel. Proposals from one company to another generally tend to be lengthy and complex. Proposals that are generated within a single company tend to be brief and simple. In either case, the readers will be primarily managerial.
If a proposal is solicited, it will be a mirror of an RFP (request for proposal). If the proposal is unsolicited, it will reflect the thinking of the firm seeking the contract and its estimate of what the receiving company requires.
4. Manuals
Technical manual is a documentation of a process or mechanism or a combination of the two. Through documentation in the manual, the elements of a process or mechanism are defined and described, and instructions for its use are provided. This use can cover such things as operation, maintenance, servicing, and repair.
5. Journal Articles
Few accomplishments will enhance your professional standing as much as being published. When you publish an article, it tells your professional colleagues not only that you have something original and unique to contribute to your field, but also that it is important enough to be published. Contrary to popular opinion, the trade journals are always interested in fresh new professional articles. New ideas, new products, new findings, and experiments are the lifeblood of the trade publishing business. It is through the professional and trade journals that the professional, scientific, and academic communities communicate with one another.
The key to a good journal article is its organization and clear purpose. Outlining an article is crucial to its getting published. The subject must be in accordance with the journal’s particular subject matter, and the article must publish new and interesting information for its readers. Most professional and trade journals have written guidelines for their publishing expectations. Each is unique in its personality and style.
Section Two: Formats of Scientific and Technical Writing
1. Memo Reports
1) Parts of Memo Reports
The typical memo report is made up of the following parts.
1. Heading information:
Heading information gives the reader the writing solution. It specifically tells your reader the date of the memo report. This date is crucial to keeping files. It tells to whom the memo is being written. This is usually a single reader, but it also may be a group or a number of individuals. The heading information tells the reader who wrote the memo report. This again can be either a single person or a group. And finally, heading information gives the subject of the report.
Heading information is made up of four basic headings, as follows:
Date: (the date of the memo report)
To: (to whom the memo was written)
From: (who wrote the memo)
Subject: (the subject of the report)
The order of these topics is not important, but all four topics must be included in the heading.
Sometimes the receiver of the memo report is a single person, but photocopies are distributed to others who are less directly involved in the matter at hand. The names of individuals who receive copies are noted in the heading information after the abbreviation“cc:”(for “carbon copy”).
2. Purpose statement
The statement of purpose tells the reader why the memo was written. Effective statements of purpose are always direct and concise. They sacrifice subtlety for directness.
3. Background statement:
A background statement should be brief and concise. It provides the reader with an overview of the events and circumstances that have led to the report. It also allows a recap and reminder for the reader who refers to the memo report at a later date.
4. Discussion:
The discussion is an objective and factual written communication of technical message. It is a detailed and complete message about the subject. The discussion is where the basic organizational pattern and outline of ideas are put into written form.
5. Conclusion:
Conclusions are the reasons or causes of technical conditions and situations. These are your findings or results about whatever it is that you are writing.
6. Recommendations:
Recommendations are the suggestions based on the conclusions, and professional opinions about what should be done.
2) Types of memo reports:
1. Feasibility reports:
Feasibility report is to show whether undertaking a certain project or path of action will have success or failure. The likelihood of success must be weighed against the odds for failure.
The report presents the evidence for that set of odds for or against the success of the report.
The structure of this type of report is as follows:
Memo-report headings
Purpose
Background
___Procedures and methods
___Alternatives
Discussion
Conclusions
Recommendations
Sample Feasibility Report:
Date: _______________
To: ________________
From: ________________
Subject: Should motor-driven linear actuators replace double-acting
Hydraulic cylinders on pinch rollers?
Purpose:
The purpose of this report is to study the feasibility of having motor-driven linear actuations (ball-screw style) replace the double-acting hydraulic cylinders on the pressure-heated pinch rollers for the 24’’ counter-top laminator. Feasibility is based on economic and work-effectiveness factors.
Background:
About 22 years ago, Acme purchased the Otto 24” laminator currently being used at the Melville plant.
This machine uses three sets of hydraulic cylinders (2 per pinch roll) to exert 800 psi as the laminated top exits the gluer and enters the press area.
Depending on what size thickness the overall top will measure (1/4”, 3/8”, 1/2”, 3/4”), you must manually adjust the clevis end of these cylinders.
This results in a set-up time of about 90 minutes. Operator controls for the pinch rollers are “full-extend” or “full-extract” with no middle setting.
Leaks in this existing system are a constant problem. The petroleum based oil attacks the glue that holds the laminate to the base wood.
Discussion:
Current technology in laminating machines uses motor-driven ball-screw actuators in place of hydraulic cylinders. These motors use a closed-loop feedback system that allows for PLC (programmable logic controller) based control. Consequently, set-up time decreases from 90 minutes to 5 minutes. Because these actuators are motor driven, we can completely eliminate the hydraulic system.
The estimated cost to remove the existing hydraulic system and install the new motor-driven actuators has the following breakdown:
Motor actuators & controllers ……………………….$265,500.00
Removal & installation labor …………………………$93,300.00
PLC operator training ………………………………….$7,500.00
First-year cost ……………………………………….$366,300.00
The 24” counter-top laminator currently produces 4.4 million of product in 2,000 hours of operation at a production rate-per-minute of $35.67. This is based on using the figure of 85 minutes of saved set-up time and an average of 7.5 set-ups per week on a 50-week production schedule.
The projected increases in production are as follows:
Annual set-ups: ……………………………………375 (50 ´ 7.5)
Total minutes saved ……………………………31,875 (375 ´ 85)
Increased production ……………………………….1,136,981.20
($35.67 ´ 31,875)
Additional set-up adjustment factor …………………………0.94
Adjusted increased production ……………………$1,068,762.30
($1,136,981 ´ 0.94)
Conclusions:
At investment of $366,300.00 of new motor-driven actuators will increase production at a rate of $1,068,762.30. This equates to a payback period of 17.2 weeks. Assuming both systems require the same amount of maintenance time, additional savings will result from less product damage from hydraulic leaks (estimated at $87,000.00). Another additional feature is the ability of the Otto laminator to run short orders (less than 100 pcs) because of reduced set-up time.
Recommendations:
The motor-driven linear actuators should be purchased and installed as soon as possible.
2. Inside proposals:
An inside proposal is a reporting document that stays inside the firm. Its purpose is to
persuade the reader to allow or follow a particular plan or course of action.
The structure of inside proposal is as follows:
Memo-report headings
Background
Proposal
Cost breakdown
Proposed schedule
Sample Inside Proposal
Date: ______________________
To: ______________________
From: ______________________
Subject: Hand-held tachometers for field sales engineers
Background:
For the past year it has become apparent that our field sales engineers would greatly benefit from having hand-held tachometers to measure rotational shaft speed and linear line speed.
Over the past year, I have had no fewer than 16 instances where I have had to rely on a customer’s word or his “best guess” about the speed of a motor, conveyor, or other mechanical device. Even nameplate data are questionable, especially on older equipment, because of years of machine modifications. In most of these cases, materials were returned because incorrect speed data were used to calculate gearbox and variable frequency drive sizes. As a result, customer projects were required to be held up while correct speed readings could be taken and the correct material shipped.
Proposal:
I propose that each of the six field sales engineers be issued a model #610 electronic hand-held tachometer with carrying case.
Cost Breakdown:
If each sales engineer averages 16 returns (This is a conservative estimate based on experience) because of speed miscalculations, the field will generate 96 RGRs (Return Goods Requests). We know from internal audits that each RGR is presently averaging $45.00. A model #610 tachometer lists at $375.00 each. We would need six of them. Consider the following breakdown in costing:
Six modal #610 tachometers (6 ´ $375.00) ………….$2,250.00
Cost of RGRs (96 ´ $45.00) …………………………$4,320.00
This is an initial savings over the first year after purchase of $2,070:
$4,320.00 - $2,250.00 ……………………………….$2,070.00
Suggested Time Frame:
Since all of the sales engineers will be in for the corporate office meeting during the second week of September, this would be a good time to give each sales engineer a tachometer and schedule them for a one-hour training session with the tachometer.
3. Status/progress reports:
This type is weekly, monthly and quarterly periodic report, allowing management to stay
informed on staff progress with ongoing technical work and projects.
The structure of the report tends to be abbreviated, as follows:
Memo-report headings
Status of projects
Sample Status Report
Date: ____________________________
To: ____________________________
From: ____________________________
Subject: Status report for week of x/x/19xx—
Plastic retainer for #622 bearing
R&D received the final CAD drawings. The corporate legal department has filed the preliminary paperwork for patent protection. Final cost for the extrusion dies amounted to $125,000.00. Production should begin in early January.
Hydro-seal for #622 bearing:
Early tests show that the ethylene propylene seal developed serious leakage problems at rotational speed over 4000 RPM. Additional tests are scheduled for next week.
Pump-Master inner race:
Six additional field reports arrived this week, bringing the total to 88 reports. These reports are on the chromium plating on the Pump-Master inner race and its flaking and blistering at high temperature (100 c to 120 c). All the reports are limited to those inner races with 2.00” bores or less. Plating U.S.A. (our subcontractor) has been notified and batch numbers have been submitted.
New roller bearing #1221:
The testing lab has reported that a faulty hydraulic meter on our Side-Thrust tester resulted in the premature rejection of the #1221 roller bearing. Design specifications call for 75 lbs of side thrust with safety factor of X2. Retesting has already begun.
4. Test reports:
This type of report is an informal and inside report on a specific, one-of-a-kind test or
testing problem. This is often a detailed account of the test results for a particular part of
item. Or it could be a report about a problem with testing itself or setting up a test
procedure.
The structure of this type of report is as follows:
Memo-report headings
Purpose or problem
Conditions
Procedures and methods
Conclusions
Recommendations
Sample Test Report
Date: __________________________________
To: __________________________________
From: __________________________________
Subject: Variable Frequency Drive Comparison Test
Purpose of Test:
This test compares the breakdown (saturation) frequency and current output of the top three brands of variable frequency electronic drives. The comparisons are under a controlled environment with identical line and load conditions.
Conditions:
All three drives use PWM (Pulse Width Modulation) technology with microprocessor front ends for programming and setting parameters. All were programmed for 400Hz maximum frequency with a 60Hz knee/voltage setting. All drives use a common line power of 460V, 3-phase, and 60Hz, with 30A current-limiting fuses. All drives have identical motor loads rated at 15HP, 1800RPM, 460V, and 3-phase. All have NEMA 7 and 9 hazarders-location motor rating for Class I, Div. I, and Group C and D.
Procedure:
Current was measured with a clamp-on AC amp meter on the 0-30A scale setting, with readings on the incoming B phase of each drive. A grounding conductor was connected to the motor frame on each chassis and building ground conductor. Each electronic drive was started at 0Hz and increased in 1Hz increments until the amp meter read FLA (Full Load Amperage). In this test, the FLA was 21A. Individual current readings were also made at each motor’s designed maximum frequency (172Hz).
Conclusions:
Brand C provided the best performance, with a maximum frequency of 206Hz and a minimum current draw of 18-7A at the designed maximum frequency of 175Hz.
Recommendations:
Standardize on brand C for all 175Hz design applications using the 1800RPM, 15HP motor.
5. Trip reports:
A trip report provides a permanent record of the trip for future reference. It records the
actions taken and accomplishments during the trip. The experience of one employee on the
trip becomes available for other personnel in the future.
The structure of a trip report is as follows:
Memo-report headings
Purpose of the trip
Conclusion
Actions taken
Recommendations
Sample Trip Report
Date: ____________________________
To: ____________________________
From: ____________________________
Subject: Albuquerque VoTech Center (A.V.C.)
Purpose of the Trip:
In September, Jim Vaughan, one of the A.V.C. instructors, told us that the five hydraulic student-training stations he had purchased in August of this year had developed leaks. He tried simply to tighten the fittings and gasket covers, but this did not stop the leaks. With no local tech-rep in the Albuquerque area, I made the side-trip to Albuquerque on my way to the Phoenix Training Products show.
Conclusions:
All five student-training stations have components that leaked at the point where the brass fittings thread into the sub-bases and manifolds. On further examination, I found that these fittings were made without the use of some sort of pipe-thread compound. Four of the five training stations were leaking fluid at the Plexiglas covers on the front of the reservoirs.
Actions Taken:
I removed all the fittings on each training station and used 3/8-inch tape to seal the fittings in the sub-bases and manifolds. Pressure tests showed that all leaks were sealed with this action.
I drained each reservoir and removed the cover to find that in all cases, the 1-inch gaskets used to seal the reservoir wall and the Plexiglas cover had torn the bolt holes that run to the outside edge. I hand-cut new cover gaskets and hand-punched the bolt holes. After installing the gaskets and covers, I refilled the reservoirs and tested them under normal operating pressure. All leaks were stopped.
Recommendations:
1. Teflon tape may not be the optimum solution. We must use pipe-thread joint compound
on future training-station manufacturing. We must also consider the thermal expansion
between the brass fittings and the steel sub-bases.
2. We must purchase a hole punch of correct size for making the bolt holes in the Plexiglas
Cover gasket. As an alternative, we could possibly use a drill press and jig to pre-drill these holes with accuracy and care.
2. Formal Report
Because formal reports are more complex than memo-reports, they require a more formally structured format. The basic elements of a formal report are as follows:
Title page
Table of contents
Executive summary
Body (including all headings)
Conclusions
Recommendations
References
Bibliography
Appendixes
Glossary
Index
Not all formal reports will require every element. In some cases, various parts of these
elements will become separate parts of the report and will stand alone.
1) Title Page
The title page can be arranged in a number of ways, but the basic elements must be there. The
basic title elements are as follows:
The full title of the report
The name of the writer
The writer’s company
The person or company receiving the report
The date of the report
2) Table of Contents
The table of contents allows your reader to find the major elements of your report easily. The
table itself is located at the front of the report just after the title page. It is a direct reflection
of your outline and is derived directly from it. The table of contents contains all primary and
secondary headings and topics as they appeared in your outline.
Tables and figures are also contained in the table of contents but are listed separately after the
topic headings. They are still part of the contents of the report, but to make the table of
contents clearer.
3) Executive Summary
In recent years, the executive summary has become the most common vehicle in reports to give a condensed overview of the report for executive and managerial audience. It should be limited to a maximum of one or two pages. The primary purpose of the executive summary is to condense the report for those who do not have either the technical knowledge or the time to read the entire report.
The information in the executive summary is limited to the background, findings, and conclusions, along with the recommendations of the report. This summary should always be placed directly after the table of contents. The executive summary should clearly summarize and condense the following information:
Background of opportunity or problem
Profit and/or cost implications
Findings and/or conclusions
Recommendations
4) Main body or Discussion
The main body is the complete account of what you are writing about. The main body is
often called a discussion because, as in an oral discussion, you will convert your structured
ideas in outline form to flowing, conversational prose.
The main body of the report covers all the technical details of the subject as well as all the
administrative results. This part may contain any one or all the three elements: definition,
description and instruction. The organization of the report must reflect absolutely and in
detail the outline previously established.
5) Conclusions
The conclusions section puts the results and findings of the discussion in one place for the
reader. The emphasis here is on what have been found in light of the purpose of the report
and its implications.
6) Recommendations
The recommendations section is the opinion based on the evidence and the expertise as a
professional. It is what the writer feel is the best course of action based on the report’s
conclusions and findings.
7) References
Sample formal Report
Title Page:
High-Frequency 400Hz AC as an Alternative to Standard
Low-Frequency 60Hz AC for Fluorescent Lighting Loads
By
L. A. Mielcarz
Technical Design Consultant
Prepared for
XYZ Development Corporation
Chicago, Illinois
July1, 19XX:
Table of Contents:
Executive Summary …………………………………1
Detailed Discussion…………………………….…..3
Purpose of Study………………………………….3
Background ………………………………………3
Lighting Load …………………………………….3
Ballast Heat ……………………………………….4
Fixture Cost Comparison…………….4
Fixture Maintenance Comparison……4
Generator Costs and Specifications ….4
Installation Costs …………………….4
Cost Analysis of Both Systems ……...4
Conclusions ………………………………………..4
Recommendations …………………………………4
Appendixes…………………………………………6
A. Lighting Fixture Energy Cost Table …….6
B. Ballast Heat Table ……………………….6
C. Fixture Cost Table ……………………….6
D. Fixture Maintenance Table ………………6
Bibliography …………………………………………7
Glossary ……………………………………………..7
Index ………………………………………………..7
Executive Summary:
The purpose of this report is to determine the feasibility of a self-generated, high-
frequency AC power source for fluorescent lighting.
Recent technology in high-frequency generation for fluorescent lighting loads has
proven successful in various European countries. Such installations can reduce air-
conditioning (cooling) loads, initial cost of lighting fixtures, fixture maintenance, and
general energy consumption. This report examines the application of this technology
in the new band and office complex in North Phoenix.
Lighting Load A total of 7,472 fixtures with energy-saving lamps will cause a
total load of 2,830,900 kwhr. This will cost $184,008.00.
Ballast Heat The heat generated by the 13,852 ballasts in the building will total
620,157 Btu. Annual cost to remove this heat with the air-conditioning system is
projected at $29,575.00.
Fixture Cost Comparison Standard fixture costs total $314,766.00. High-frequency
costs total $297,212.00. The difference between the two is $17,554.00.
Fixture Maintenance Comparison Estimated standard fixture maintenance will
cost $16,812.00 annually. The difference between the two is $13,076.00.
Generator Costs A 1,500kw three-phase generator (alternator) has an
initial cost of $646,580.00. Its projected annual energy consumption is
$158,600.00. The estimate annual maintenance cost on this generator is
$12,500.00.
Installation Cost Installation cost for the generator and main switch-gear
only is estimated at $132,500.00. Dedicated wireways and lighting panels
for the high-frequency distribution system are estimated at $283,750.00.
Cost Analysis of Both Systems A high-frequency self-generated system
will cost more than a standard system. The difference in system cost is
$1,045,276.00. The annual energy and labor savings will be $55,559.00
based on present energy and labor costs.
Conclusions Payback is projected to be 18.8 years. The payback is figured
in terms of energy savings, reduced lighting maintenance, and reduced
fixture costs.
Recommendations Based on a projected property holding time of eight years,
the payback period is far too great and would incur investment loss. Use
traditional wiring methods and public power for all energy uses in the building.
Discussion (Body):
Purpose of Study
The purpose of this report is to determine whether a self-generated, high-frequency
AC power source (generator/alternator) can be used at the XYZ Development
complex in North Phoenix. This report will determine whether the self-generated
system can be economically installed, operated and maintained. It will determine
whether the system can provide sufficient energy savings to pay for itself over a
feasible period, based on a projected eight-year property ownership.
Background
In correspondence dated January X, 19XX, Jane Reynolds, Manager and CEO
of XYZ Development Corporation, mentioned her observations during a recent
trip to Europe of lighting generation at several major hotels. The hotels were using
self-generated, high-frequency (400Hz) AC power supplies.
These supplies powered the fluorescent lighting loads in the hotels and in adjacent
buildings. The main purpose for such electrical distribution is the ability to ignite
fluorescent lamps without the use of traditional iron-core and coil ballasts. By
eliminating the ballasts, the system also eliminates the heat given off by the ballasts.
This results in reducing the overall cooling system load, initial fixture cost, ballast
maintenance, and replacement cost of ballasts.
The question remains whether it is feasible to use this dedicated system of power
generation for fluorescent lighting in the proposed 18-story, 720,000sq.ft. band and
office complex in North Phoenix. If such a system is installed, it must be done in the
early stages of construction. Consequently, this study will try to facilitate a decision
at this early stage of development.
Lighting Load
All fixtures will use 34-watt, energy-saving lamps. Each fixture will average 2,500
hours of operation. Over the length of a year, the total kilowatt-hours consumed well
be 2,830,900 (7,472 fixtures using energy-saving lamps). Based on a charge of 6.5
cents per kwhr, total annual energy costs for the fluorescent lighting will be
$184,008.00. See Appendix A.
Ballast Heat
The total number of ballast for the fluorescent lighting fixtures is 13,852. Using
industry standards, each ballast gives of 44.77btu of heat. The total heat output for
all ballasts comes to 620,154btu. Because 1kw equals 3,412btu, the ballast heat
represents 182kw of cooling load over the span of 2,500 hours. This represents a
total energy cost of $29,575.00 in order to remove the ballast heat.
Conclusions:
Payback is projected to be 18.8 years. This payback period is figured in terms of
Energy savings, reduced lighting maintenance, and reduced fixture costs.
Recommendations:
Based on a projected property-holding time of eight years, the payback period is
Far too great and would incur investment loss. Use traditional wiring methods and
Public power for all energy uses in the complex.
3. Technical Proposals
It is very important to keep in mind that a proposal is a selling document. It must persuade the readers to buy the goods or services. The following is a typical format for a proposal.
Cover letter
Table of contents
Executive summary
Proposed program
Company background
Budget
Appendixes (optional as needed)
Sample Technical Proposal
Cover Letter
October 26, 1992
Mr. Gary Norman
ABC Products, Inc.
P. O. Box 1414
2600 Forest Avenue
Milwaukee, WI 53207
Dear Mr. Norman:
Midwest Information Solutions in conjunction with Northwest Information Systems
takes great pleasure in providing this proposal to meet your distribution management
needs. The proposal is structured to provide a business solution that is price and per-
formance competitive and that will enable the efficient implementation of the best
software and hardware solutions.
Our understanding of your objectives and requirements is based on the Request For
Proposal (RFP) received at our offices on October 13, 1992.
We would like to express our appreciation for the opportunity to present this information for your consideration.
While MIS will act as the prime contractor for the system being proposed, Northwest
Information Systems, Inc. will assist in the installation of the software and in the design
of any software modifications that may be required to meet your business needs.
Sincerely,
Lawrence P. Ott, President
Encl.
Proposal For ABC Products, Inc.
Presented by:
Midwest Information Solutions, Inc.
Table of Contents
1. EXECUTIVE SUMARY
2. TECHNICAL PROPOSAL
2.1 Software Requirements Checklist
2.1.1 Additional Software Features
2.1.2 Other “Systems” Experience
2.2 Hardware Requirements
2.3 Staffing Requirements
2.4 Vendor Support Programs
2.4.1 System Implementation
2.4.2 Training and Education
2.5 Vendor Background and Qualification
3. COST PROPOSAL
4. APPENDIXES
Executive Summary
(Details omitted)
Technical Proposal
(Details omitted)
Software Requirements Checklist
(Details omitted)
Additional software features
(Details omitted)
Other “Systems” experience
(Details omitted)
(The following sections are omitted here for length.)
4. Technical manuals
There are many types of technical manuals. The most prevalent types of manual are operations manual, user manual, and maintenance manual.
1) Operations and user manual
Operations and user manual is primarily for the user or purchaser of equipment. This type of manual tell the user how to use the equipment in the intended fashion. The manual will make extensive use of technical description and technical instruction. It must be written simply and clearly, because the technical level of the user is generally lower than the level of expertise of those who designed and/or manufactured the equipment.
2) Maintenance manual is primarily for the highly technical expert who repair and maintains a piece of equipment. This type manual heavily relies on such tools as schematics and performance graphs. Visuals such as these take advanced understanding and expertise in the specific technical field.
The structural format of most technical manuals is as follows:
Title cover page
Preface/Introduction
Table of contents
Mechanism descriptions
Process descriptions
User instructions
Appendixes
Glossaries
Indexes
(Samples omitted)
5. Journal Article
1) Types of Journal Article
Journal articles include reports of empirical studies, review articles, and theoretical articles.
1. Reports of empirical studies
Reports of empirical studies are reports of original research. They typically consist of distinct
sections that reflect the stages in the research process and that appear in the sequence of these
stages:
Introduction: development of the problem under investigation and statement of purpose of
the investigation;
Method: description of the method used to conduct the investigation;
Result: report of the results that were found;
Discussion: interpretation and discussion of the implications of the results.
2. Review articles
Review articles, including meta-analyses, are critical evaluations of material that has already
been published. By organizing, integrating, and evaluating previously published material, the
author of a review article considers the progress of current research toward clarifying a
problem. In a sense, a review article is tutorial in that the author [liu1] defines and clarifies the
problem; summarizes previous investigations in order to inform the reader of the state of
current research; identifies relations, contradictions, gaps, and inconsistencies in the literature;
suggests the next step or steps in solving the problem.
The components of review articles, unlike the sections of reports of empirical studies, are
arranged by relationship rather than by chronology.
3. Theoretical articles
Theoretical articles are papers in which the author draws on existing literature to advance
theory in any area, presenting a new theory; analyzing existing theory, pointing out flaws or
demonstrating the superiority of one theory over another. The sections of a theoretical article
are usually ordered by relationship rather than by chronology.
2) Format and Verb Tenses of Journal Article
1. Title page
Title page contains the following elements:
title,
author’s name (first name, middle initial and last name),
institutional affiliation (the institution where the investigation was conducted);
2. Abstract (write this section last)
Abstract usually contains the following elements:
background information (present tense),
purpose (past or present perfect tense),
method (past),
results (past),
conclusion or recommendation (present);
Sample Abstract and its Elements
Background In many cultures it is standard behavior for people to have a short period of
Purpose sleep after the noon meal. The aim of our study was to determine if such a
Method sleep period enhances the overall work efficiency of office workers. Two
groups participated in the study. One group slept after the noon meal and the
Results other group continued working after the noon meal. Results indicated that
those who slept had better overall work efficiency according to the well-
Conclusion known Richards work efficiency scale. The results suggest that employers
may benefit by giving their employees the option of sleeping undisturbed
after the noon meal.
3. Introduction
Introduction section usually contains the following elements:
Setting (present and past),
previous research by others (past),
need for more investigation/significance (present),
purpose or objectives of the study or research (past or present);
Sample Introduction and its Elements
Setting During the past few decades, computers have gained enormous popularity
in many aspects of United States’ culture. One reason for this is that
computer technology has been advancing so quickly that even small
computers can now perform a large number of useful tasks. Because of
this, schools are purchasing more and more microcomputers and
incorporating them as teaching tools in many of their courses.
Previous Study Most researchers agree that microcomputers will play an important role in
by Others the future educational system of the US. Grizter (1990) and Boyd (1991)
suggested that microcomputers would be used much more in private home,
businesses, and schools in the near future. Schaeffer(1989) mentioned three
ways in which microcomputers would be used in schools: as the object of
study, as a teacher’s support tool, and as a way to give instruction. Kim and
Davis (1992) noted that in the teaching of agriculture, microcomputers
could be used by the students to (1) review lessons, (2) preview lessons, and (3) pose problems which help with the solution.
Many studies have been conducted which evaluated the effectiveness of
microcomputers as a teaching tool. The results of these studies have been
mixed. Studies by Bixler (1988) and Edwards (1990) indicated that micro-
computers could greatly enhance teaching effectiveness. However, studies
by Schmit (1986), Colby (1988) and Muller (1990) indicated that micro-
computers had little or no effect on teaching effectiveness.
Significance Although many studies have already been performed, more studies
are needed to determine the effects of microcomputer-assisted
instruction in various teaching situations
Purpose The purpose of this study was to compare microcomputer-assisted
instruction with the standard lecture-discussion instruction, and to
ascertain if it is cost-effective for agriculture schools to purchase
microcomputers and incorporate them into their graduate course.
Justification/ This research was identified as being useful to agricultural school in
Value that it provides them with objective facts that can be used to help them
decide whether or not to purchase microcomputers.
4. Method (whole section in past tense and passive voice)
Method section usually contains the following elements:
overview of experiment or research
materials / apparatus
population sample / participants
procedures
Sample Method and its Elements
Overview A taste test was conducted to determine student’s preferences and
attitudes toward sugar-sweetened and artificially-sweetened
Population beverages. Ten people, five male and five female students, from Science
English class 1, were chosen at random to participate in the test. The
Materials materials used were thirty straws, two cups, one blindfold, and two
containers of Kool-aid, a popular drink in the United States. On container
held four cups of orange Kool-Aid sweetened with one-half of sugar. The
other container held four cups of orange Kool-Aid sweetened with 9 packets
of NutraSweet brand artificial sweetener.
The steps included in the test were as follows. Ten volunteer students were
Procedure chosen, five male and five female students. They were placed into two lines,
one for males and the other for females. Alternately, men and women
completed the taste test. To complete the test a blindfold was first fastened
over the eyes of the tester so that he/she could not see. Then the two cups
were filled with beverage, one with artificially-sweetened Kool-aid and the
other with sugar-sweetened Kool-aid. The tester was then asked three
questions from a survey and the answers were tabulated. Next, using a straw,
the tester took a sip from each cup. Then the final two questions on the
survey were asked and the answers tabulated. Finally, the remaining drink
was thrown away, and the next tester came forward to repeat the process.
5. Results
Results section usually contains the following elements:
Figure (chart, diagram, illustration, etc.),
sentence locating the figure (present tense/active or passive voice),
presenting findings (past),
commenting on results (present);
Sample Results and its Elements
Locating the figure Figure 1 shows the average scores for a standard English test
given to two groups: Asians learning English in the US and
Presenting the Findings Asians learning English in Asia. Students studying in the US
scored at least two times higher than their counterparts in all
four of the basic skill areas. For instance, for the listening test
students studying in the US scored an average of five times
Comments higher than those who studied in Asia. These results can be
explained by noting that students in the US must often use
their language skills outside of the classroom in practical
situations. The results seem to indicate that being exposed to
a foreign language outside of the class-room enhances one’s
ability to learn that language.
6. Discussion/Conclusion
Discussion, sometimes written as conclusion, usually contains the following elements:
main purpose or hypothesis (past),
review of most important findings (past),
explanations (present or past),
implications of the study or research (present, modals),
recommendations or applications (present, modals);
Sample Conclusion and its Elements
Main Purpose An experiment was performed to determine the wear-protection
properties of a newly developed engine oil additive. It was
Hypothesis anticipated that the new additive would provide added protection
to engine components in the event that the engine loses its oil
Findings pressure. It was found that engines using the additive were able to
operate an average of two minutes longer than engines not using
Explanations the additive. It is likely that the additive, a polymer having a
single-chain molecular structure, provides a thin layer of protection
on engine components which resists break-down much longer than
Limitations ordinary engine oil. Whether or not the additive improves perform
ance during normal engine operation is yet unknown. However,
Implications this experiment suggests that in the event of oil pressure loss, the
additive substantially increases the amount of time an engine can be
Recommendations/ operated without being damaged. This additive could be used in
Applications automobile engines and could save the general public millions of
dollars in engine repair costs.
7. References
Documenting Sources:
(1) Order of Information for Books
Author’s name
Title of part of book
Title of book
Name of editor, translator or compiler
Edition used
Number of volumes
Name of series
Place of publication, shortened name of publisher, date of publication
Page numbers
Sample:
1. A book by a Single Author:
Langbaum, Robert. The Modern Spirit: Essays on the Continuity of Nineteenth- and
Twentieth-Century Literature. New York: Oxford UP, 1970.
2. A Book by Two Authors:
Liehm, Antonin J., and Mira Liehm. The Most Important Art: Soviet and Eastern
European Film after 1945. Berkeley: U. of California Press, 1977.
(2) Order of Information for Articles
Author’s name
Title of article
Name of periodical
Series number or name
Volume number
Date of publication
Page number
Sample:
An Article in a Journal:
Cooper, Arnold M. “Psychoanalysis at One Hundred: Beginnings of Maturity.”
Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association 32 (1984): 245-267.
8. Appendix
Chapter Two: The Process of Scientific Writing
Section One: Writing Approach
Any piece of writing is greater than the sum of its parts. Grammar, style, spots and points are all components that must be pulled together to create an end product that’s greater than their combination. Scientific writing, technical writing or academic writing, takes discipline and strict adherence to system, and follows an orderly sequence of events that lead to clear and concise prose.
The systems approach (integrated approach) has been adopted to scientific writing in an effort to promote integrative activity. The systems approach to writing shifts your way of working from micro-method to macro-method. From focusing on isolated components (grammar, style, spots, and points), you adjust your vision to see the entire system. Within the entire system, you look for the relationship of components to one another.
In scientific writing, the systems approach, which is also called process writing (writing-as-a-process), is integrative and comprehensive. As you use and master this process, keep in mind that it will vary in intricacy. You will certainly find variations in the way that you put the system to work for you, but the basic system will remain in place. This process will help you with your writing in much the same way that a map helps you get to your destination in the most direct and effective manner.
Section Two: Three Stages of Writing
Applied to writing, the systems approach helps you to explore how each stage of the writing
experience relates to each other, while at the same time you keep the total product in mind.
When applied to documentation, process writing promotes awareness of the activities that
immediately precede writing and those that immediately follow it. The writing process includes
three stages, classified as pre-writing, writing and post-writing.
1. Pre-writing Stage
Before actual writing you need to 1) establish the writing purpose, 2) identify the audience or the readers, 3) determine the scope of the writing, and 4) perform the necessary research(gather information).
1) Establish the writing purpose
Usually, a document fulfills a contract requirement, either completely or partially. So you can
assume that there is a clear purpose. For every document you are about to write, ask the questions: Why you are writing this document? What is the purpose of this document? An utilitarian writing always has a clear purpose.
Purpose and Purpose Statement:
Once the general objective is clear, you must develop it into a specific objective. Don’t stop with generalities. Make the objective specific. The following objective is too general:
To describe the effects of using sodium sulfite in film processing.
A better objective would be the following:
To show the effects on high-speed coarse-grained film processing when combining
sodium with the three leading black-and-white film developers on the commercial
market.
Remember that you will very likely incorporate the purpose statement into the beginning of your document. What you should avoid is a trite expression of the purpose statement. It should be direct and full of information.
Trite Purpose Statement:
The purpose of this working paper is to report the status of Emanon’s financial
reengineering project to date.
This is a typical opening. You have doubtlessly seen such statements many times and probably
haven’t questioned their effectiveness. At a minimal level, this opening flags the fact that it is
purpose statement. It also provides a sense of direction to the reader. In this respect, it’s useful.
The reader should be the focus of the purpose statement, not the writer.
On the other hand, a purpose statement should be evident without being tagged. You reader
will expect the opening statement of a document to announce its purpose; it doesn’t have to
talk about doing so; therefore, eliminate the phrase, The purpose of. Second, you needn’t
identify the document as a working paper or a letter or a trip report. Your reader will know
from its format, its identification number, and its manner of distribution what it is. So,
eliminate the identifier. In this case, delete this working paper. Even the phrase is to report is
wasting your reader’s time. Words The purpose of this working paper is to report of this
purpose statement are both trite and unnecessary.
Here’s an improved version of the same purpose statement. Note that it gets to business more
quickly and it also offers more information.
Improved Purpose Statement:
Emanon’s financial reengineering project was six months behind in its first phase
of implementation. Several factors affected the project’s schedule, and Department
FR16’s implementation team has created new software to overcome these factors
for the next phase of implementation.
A purpose statement should include following information: audience, action, outcome.
2). Identify the audience/readers
When you know why you’re writing a document, you very quickly figure out who is supposed
to read it. Audience is the great motivator in writing. The act of identifying who your reader or
readers might be will put you into a frame of mind to think about them. The simple questions
are: For whom you are writing the document?Who is supposed to read the document?
Sorting Multiple Readers:
Thinking about the question Why will the reader read this document will help you choose a
proper level of expertise for presenting scientific or technical detail. A reader who wants find-
ing information will probably not need a deep level of technical detail. A reader who must
assess future staff commitments will need a higher level of technical detail for matching staff
capabilities to project requirements. A reader who has issued an RFP wants to compare your
level of expertise with that of your competitor. If your document will be read by more than one
person, you must sort out who is most important, less important, and least important.
When you identify your readers, don’t simply identify what general category they fall into, you
must determine their levels of understanding. For this respect, you can ask the questions: What
do your readers need to know? What do your readers already know?
The questions help you determine how deeply you need to go into the subject. This determines
the scope of the writing. Another question Will jargon be understood must also be asked. Keep
in mind that jargon is exclusive language, understood only by a narrow margin of readers. It is
risky if your reader is not in that narrow margin of understanding. If you cannot discern
this about your reader’s understanding, replace the jargon with commonly understood and
defined statements. For example, consider the following sentence:
As yet, there are still several glitches in the software.
If the underlined jargon is replaced, the sentence reads as follows:
As yet, the software is still giving out several wrong responses.
3) Determine the scope of writing
The depth or amount of detail is known as the scope of writing. The writing purpose and mix of
readers will determine the depth and detail you must use. The scope varies a great deal on your
judgment and the specific task at hand. Consequently, it is imperative that you be as exact and
specific with your purpose and reader profile as possible. By determining the scope of your
writing project, you set the stage for research.
4) Perform the research (gather information)
Research is the process of gathering factual information. Gathering information constitutes the
lifework of scientists and engineers. They perform experiments, create prototypes, and conduct
research to gain information. In the academic world, research is primarily done at the campus
library. In the professional world, it is primarily a matter of calling upon experience and
experimentation. These generally reflect primary research and secondary research.
Primary research is the research done by yourself, such as: experiments, mail questionnaires,
personal interviews, telephone interviews, and personal observation/experience. Secondary
research is research previously done by others, such as: books, periodicals, newspapers,
government documents, industrial and trade directions and published results of experiments.
What you do need to think about, however, is how to sort through and select from the informa-
tion at hand. You are more likely to have too much information rather than not enough for the
writing. Obviously, if you don’t have enough, you aren’t ready to write. The document does
not exist to provide a forum for everything you know about topic ABC. The document exist to
convey specific information to an identified audience. For this reason, your purpose statement
will help guide you in selecting what information to incorporate into your document. The best
way to translate your purpose statement into the matter of a document is to prepare some sort
of outline that will both select and order the information you have at hand.
2. Writing Stage
When the preparation for documentation is complete, the actual writing must begin. Outlining
and draft writing are performed at this stage(The first task is often included in the pre-writing
stage).
1) Outlining
Writers also need a route to get where they are going in their writing. The route writers take is
their method of development. The actual physical map for writers is their outline. An outline
has much the same use to the writer that a map has to the serious traveler. An outline helps a
writer in a number of different ways.
1. It forces parallel structure of your ideas
When you write an outline, you set your method of development down in a parallel structure.
This means that ideas of equal importance get equal emphasis. Ideas of lesser importance are
always subordinate to some idea of greater importance and related to that idea. For example:
I. First Main Idea
A. First subtopic subordinate to I
B. Second subtopic subordinate to I
II. Second Main Idea
In this example, there are four elements. All are parallel, two are subordinate. The first main
idea and the second main idea (I and II) are parallel. They will receive equal emphasis and
are of equal importance. They are both designated with a Roman numeral and are flush with
each other in the column, which indicates a parallel set of ideas.
Also parallel are “A” and “B”. These two subtopics are also subordinate to “I”. This simply
means that like “I” and “II”, they will receive equal emphasis and importance in the writing,
and they both depend on and relate directly to “I”.
2. It allows for easy evaluation of your organization and development
This aspect of outlining has a dual advantage. Not only can you evaluate your approach to
your writing assignment, but anyone who must pass approval on the writing project can give
preliminary approval. This has tremendous value in speeding up the process of revising,
correcting, and rewriting. If you look at the previous example, you can tell at a glance where
everything is situated logically. If, while looking over an outline, you notice a violation of
logic or fact, you can make the change far easier and faster that trying to pick it out of the
finished text.
3. It shows you completeness
There is nothing worse than trying to write something and getting to the end of it only to
realize that you have left something out. In this case, you must rework transitions and make
sure that what you had to move or add fits smoothly. Outlining allows you to do this quickly
and easily, because you have not yet written anything at this stage. You can spot the problem
quickly and make the addition or deletion easily.
4. It saves you time
Writers who outline as a regular, systematic procedure save themselves time because the
outline will point out defects clearly and allow their repair long before they are in final
prose.
Outline Formats
There are three basic types of outline.
(1) Simple List
This is the simplest form of outlining. It will suffice for all brief and simple written
communications, such as memos and brief letters. The greatest advantages of this type
are speed and simplicity. It is an outline that you can write simply and quickly for a
routine message. Its main disadvantage is that it does not allow for complex ideas. Be
careful not to use this type for any writing that requires more than a simple parallel structure.
Consider the following example of the listing technique:
Sample: Memorandum
1. Announce meeting at 2:00pm
2. Have section heads bring weekly reports
3. Mention change in travel policy
(2) Academic Outline
An academic outline is one of two types of formal outline formats. This particular type
is called “academic” mainly because it is the kind of outline format most commonly taught
in high schools and colleges. It uses a combination of Roman numerals, Arabic numerals,
and uppercase and lowercase English letters.
This format has the advantage of distinctly separating the various parallel structures in the
outline. The structures are easily separated because the Roman numerals, letters and Arabic numbers are distinct. You can see the divisions at a glance. The only disadvantage is that if you go beyond a fourth level of parallel subordination, you must either repeat a symbol previously used or make up a new one. The following is the format of a typical academic outline:
Sample: I. Main Heading
A. First subtopic under main heading
B. Second subtopic under main heading
1. First subtopic under B
2. Second subtopic under B
a. First subtopic under 2
b. Second subtopic under 2
II. Main Heading
(3) Engineering Outline
The engineering outline is also frequently referred to as a decimal outline because of the
decimal points that separate each entry. This can be a little misleading, however, because the decimal points do not actually refer to any fractional element in the mathematical sense. Consequently, the term engineering is more appropriate. It is called an engineering outline because of its almost exclusive use in the scientific and engineering communities.
The outline format has the advantage of being able to go to any level of complexity of detail without repeating symbols. Another advantage is the immediate ability to number all levels of the actual prose in accordance with the outline.
Consider the following example of a typical engineering outline:
Sample: 1. Main Heading
1.1 First subtopic under 1
1.2 Second subtopic under 1
1.2.1 First subtopic under 1.2
1.2.2 Second subtopic under 1.2
1.2.2.1 First subtopic under 1.2.2
1.2.2.2 Second subtopic under 1.2.2
2. Main Heading
Outline Styles
There are three styles of outline, and each has its distinct advantages and disadvantages.
These three styles are topical outline, sentence outline and paragraph outline.
(1) Topical Outline
Topical outline uses only topic headings or short phrases for each outline entry. It is quickly
written and easy to use. Because it is quickly written and easy to use , it is the choice for
brief and fairly straightforward types of writing such as memos, letters, and short memo
reports. By outlining in brief topic form, you have very little problem with adding, deleting,
or moving topics to other locations in the paper.
The disadvantage with this type of outline is that it is not detailed. If this type is used for a
large and detailed communication, you will not remember all of the details concerned with
each topic entry. You must then constantly refer back to notes or your memory.
(2) Sentence Outline
Sentence outline has each entry in the form of a complete sentence. The obvious advantage
is that greater detail makes for easier memory of detail when you write the draft. The dis-
advantage with this type of outline is that you may be tempted to string the outline sentences
together into a choppy prose and call that the written report.
(3) Paragraph Outline
Paragraph outline has all the main entries summarized with a complete paragraph. The major
advantage of a paragraph outline is its capacity for detail and completeness. Its primary
disadvantage is the time-consuming detail of the writing.
2) Rough Draft Writing
The secret to writing a document is the secret of rapid prototyping. Plunge in and move through the text quickly. The point is that you mustn’t tinker with your writing as you produce your first draft. The first draft you write is the rough draft. This is the only draft that you write without the help of revision. This draft comes out of your head with only the help of your outline.
If this draft turns out any other way than rough, you did it wrong. This is the one time you do not clutter your mind with the mechanical elements of writing. The only thing you are striving to do at this point is to turn the outline into prose. To do this, you take everything in your head concerning each outline point and put it on paper in rough form. Just get it down.
Speed is essential. Don’t labor over the writing. Don’t wait for “inspiration”. Start putting words on paper no matter how poorly written they seem to you.
Don’t stop to correct. Remind yourself that this is the first draft and not the last draft. There will be ample time and other drafts for correction, but not on this draft.
3. Post-writing Stage
Post-writing is the most time-consuming part of the writing process. Viewed from a broader
perspective, the writing process is a process within a process. Post-writing is really revising
and editing, and at the very end of the process it’s proofreading.
Revision is from the Latin revidere, to see again. Revision includes reorganizing parts of
the document, that is , adding, deleting, or expanding material, which is divided into two steps:
revision of content and organization.
Editing, or called copyediting, requires that you revisit the manuscript to catch style
inconsistencies and to check grammar correctness.
Proofreading, the last step of the revision process, is intended to perfect the physical text,
such as looking for missing or unnecessary spaces between words, words that have typed
twice, once for content and once for organization.
1) Revision for Content and Organization
Content
Revision for content includes: containing all salient parts of the research, eliminating extraneous elements, buttressing assertions with supporting detail.
Content includes your choice of a title. Creating interesting title is one of the most satisfying parts of an author’s job. When checking your title, keep in mind that it should not be written as a sentence. Omitting normal sentence elements saves words and also gives greater vivacity to your title. Also keep in mind that the content of a title should not be sacrificed for brevity.
A content review will also ensure that prior research has been credited and sources of data acknowledged. As a author, you must make frequent decisions about which facts are in the common knowledge of a discipline and which facts must be attributed to other scientists.
A responsible content review revisits the issue of a document’s audience. While you do analyze audience in the prewriting phase, you need to reconsider if the completed document will satisfy the identified audience.
Not only must you consider adding material when you’re revising content, you must take the plunge and eliminate extraneous detail. A reader-oriented revision will make sure that such details will also interest the audience. If not, minimize or eliminate them.
The following checklist will help you with your content review:
Have you stated the subject and the purpose of the paper early in the paper?
Have you included sufficient detail to support every major assertion?
Do your conclusions follow from the information provided in your paper?
Have you created an informative and interesting title?
Have you credited other professionals and cited sources of data?
Have you eliminated material that interests you more than the audience?
Organization
The organization of a document is built into it according to principles of logic and then displayed by means of titles, section headers, and subheadings. In other words, there is correspondence between what is included in the paper and how it is designed.
Readers demand both ordered content and visible markers. Consequently, revision task is twofold. You must ascertain that your organizational design is logically complete and correct, and you must make sure that the organizational divisions are clearly and consistently marked.
The easiest task in organization review is to check for a full and distinct introductory section as well as for a full and logical concluding section. You can call these sections Introduction and Conclusion, or you can create more imaginative titles. If you choose the latter option, make sure that the notions of introduction and conclusion are conveyed by the wording.
The rest of your document is the body. When creating titles and subtitles for the body section of your document, keep them parallel. If you use words for the first subdivision, then continue with that format. If you decide to use phrases, not only should you continue to use phrases, but you should also create phrases that all reflect the same syntax. For example:
Major sections in one-word subtitle:
Prewriting
Writing
Post-writing
Subsections in the form of phrases (more informative):
Revision for Content
Revision for Organization
Editing for Coherence
Editing for Clarity
The following checklist will help you with your organization review:
Have you stated your line of reasoning early in your document?
Do you have full and distinct introduction and conclusion section?
Have you provided informative and interesting subtitles throughout the body of your document?
Are your section titles and subtitles parallel in syntax and parallel in format?
Have you confirmed the hierarchical relationship of each section and subsection?
Have you used transitional words to indicate these relationship?
Is there a correlation between each subsection’s length and the importance of its contents?
2) Editing for Style
The characteristics of scientific writing are clarity, accuracy, comprehensiveness, accessibility, conciseness, and correctness. It emphasizes plain prose and simple word choice. Whenever possible, it favors brevity of expression, although brevity must never take priority over clarity. Editing for style can be performed on coherence, clarity and economy.
The following list will help you edit for style:
Do you generally choose simple words over ornate words?
Have you used a variety of sentence structure?
Have you broken up very long sentences into shorter units?
Have you used acronyms only where necessary?
Have you limited professional jargon to the level of your readers’ usage?
Have you eliminated cliches?
Editing for Coherence
General coherence in documentation is reinforced by two distinctly different methods.
(1) Prose chosen to show relationships between thoughts:
Do repeat key terms as often as needed.
Do create noun-pronoun reference patterns.
Do use transitional words and phrases.
Do chose the right transitional word to convey an intended relationship.
Do link ideas with demonstrative adjectives: this, that, these, those.
(2) Visual devices inserted to show relationships between topics:
The document title must be consistently worded throughout the document.
Chapter (or section) headers must be consistent.
All level headers must be consistent.
Figure captions should be consistent.
Table captions should be consistent.
Bibliography items should be parallel.
Table of Contents items should be parallel.
Table of Content items should replicate their format in the document.
(Paragraph coherence will discussed later.)
Editing for Clarity
Clarity in documentation refers to meaning that is easily understood and free from ambiguity.
Editing for clarity involves word choice and sentence structure. The following will serve as a
review:
Use active verbs to express actor, action, and result clearly.
Present facts in positive form; reserve negative for exceptional use.
Use English words; replace Latin and French terms.
Limit modifiers; rearrange them for optimum clarity.
Remove gender bias; devise a graceful system for gender references.
Replace abstract words with concrete words.
Replace vague words with specific words.
Make verbs indicative for statements and imperative for directions.
Omit rhetorical questions---questions without real answers.
Avoid shifting verb tenses without cause.
(1) Ambiguity means that a word or sentence can have at least two meanings, which is often confused with vagueness. An ambiguous statement lacks clarity. There are two kinds of ambiguity. Lexical ambiguity refers to words with two or more possible interpretations. Structural ambiguity is a result of how words are arranged in a sentence.
Lexical Ambiguity
Junko couldn’t bear children.
(Junko is incapable of giving birth./ Junko doesn’t like children.)
Nam found a bat in his laboratory.
(Nam found a mammal with wings in his lab./
Nam found some sports equipment in his lab.)
After the computer scientists complained, their managers decided to give them more power.
(The managers gave the scientists more influence in management decisions.
The managers gave the scientists more powerful computers.)
Structural Ambiguity
(1) Flying planes can be dangerous.
(Are townspeople at a zoning board meeting remarking about the danger of airplanes
flying over their town?
Are aviators applying for life insurance commenting on occupational risk?)
(2) We saw a pretty girls school.
We saw a school for little girls. The school building is pretty.
We saw a school for little girls. The school is small and it’s pretty.
We saw a school for girls who are all pretty and little.
We saw a school for girls. The building is moderately small.
We saw a school for girls who are moderately small in size.
(2) Vagueness is unclearness, which is sometimes introduced intentionally in correspondence or during a conversation if the writer/speaker is trying to avoid making a commitment. There are two kinds of vagueness. Vague expletives like there is and there are as sentence openers should be replaced with the real subject of the sentence. Vague pronouns that don’t have a noun preceding them need to be strengthened.
Vague Expletives
There is going to be a meeting in the new conference room tomorrow.
There were system upgrades promised for both centers.
Vague Expletives Replaced
The department will meet tomorrow in the new conference room.
Xanadu System promised system upgrades for both Cambridge and Washington.
Vague Pronouns
What is this all about? (What is this?)
Because Emanon didn’t support financial reengineering, it failed. (What failed, Emanon or
the reengineering project?)
Vague Pronouns Replaced
Snow is predicted for later today.
What is this argument all about?
Because Emanon didn’t support financial reengineering, the company went out of
business.
(3) Misplaced Modification
Gerunds, participles, and infinitives are all verbs that are frequently used in phrases to add further information or meaning to sentences. The problem is when their placement in the sentence confuses rather than clarifies. For example:
Jack and Jill found a dollar walking to the store. (We know who was actually walking to the store.)
The topic of the seminar was digital conversion of analogue systems at our Chicago branch.(The topic of the seminar at out Chicago branch was digital conversion of analogue systems.
Editing for Economy/conciseness
When you edit for economy, you edit to bring your document up to the technical writing
standard of conciseness. The practical purpose of conciseness is to encourage your reader to
really read your document. But the pursuit of conciseness must never at the expense of
clarity. Your goal is to express the most information in the fewest possible words. First, you
have to decide if you’ve included information that isn’t necessary. Write to the needs and
interests of your readers, not to your own. Second, you need to pare back your manuscript.
The joy of editing is the joy of deleting unnecessary phrases, using economical forms,
selecting short words instead of long words, and liberating yourself from lengthy cliched
expressions.
(1) Eliminating Redundancy
1) One form of redundancy includes expressions that contain the same idea stated in two different ways. Every one of the expressions can be reduced to one of the two terms.
Absolutely essential
Advance forward
Advance reservations
Basic essentials
Cancel out
Close proximity
Consensus of opinion
End result
2) Another form of redundancy is needless doublings.
Miranda Campbell wrote a full and complete account of access to the corporate information server through World Wide Web client software.
Once connected to Emanon’s networks, each and every employee can gain access to the server through appropriate World Wide Web client software.
First and foremost, employees can access the Technology Program Server via the following address: http://www/xxxx/xxx.
Useful compounds
Users can view and mail the documents they retrieve through the database.
Write and read access for project principles will be through Appleshare for Macintosh users and Novell NetWare for PC/Windows users.
(2) Keeping Down Sentence Length
Long sentences are hard to read. The longer the sentence, the more you limit your reader’s ability to understand. It should be evident that some sentences will be short and some will be long, but the average length should be readable. A good, readable length in technical writing falls in the range of 12—15 words per sentence. The following sentence is too long.
The total quantity of air(Cubic Feet of air per Minute or CFM) to be moved is governed by various local and state codes and if no local or state codes exist, the total quantity of air(CFM) to be exhausted from the hood shall be determined by one of the formulas that follow.
Revised
The total CFM(Cubic Feet of air movement per Minute) must usually conform to local or state code. If there is no code, you can figure the CFM by any one of the following formulas.
(3) Keeping Down Word Length
Like sentence length, word length plays an important role in the ease with which readers can get through the writing and into the concept. Word length here refers to the number of syllables rather than the number of letters in the word.
(4) Eliminating Needless Words
Needless words are directly or indirectly redundant for the sake of impressiveness. For example:
Shipping considerations will be easy because of the flexible nature of the materials.
Revised
Shipping will be easy because the materials are flexible.
Other examples as:
all of the labs all labs
many of the engineers many engineers
some of the tests some tests
(5) Simplifying Positive and Negative Constructions
Present positive statements and negative statements in their most simplified and direct constructions. For example, don’t use were not a success or did not succeed when failed makes the statement for more directly. Another example:
This project will not be delayed if the lab approves the latest series of tests.
Improved:
This project will continue on schedule if the lab approves the latest series of tests.
(6) Watching out for the “It … that” Syndrome
The “It…that” construction is the number-one problem with technical writing’s overemphasis of the impersonal approach. The typical phrases are clues to this impersonal and wordy construction. The following examples show how to correct it:
It has been shown that the additive helps reduce frictional wear on parts.
[The additive helps reduce frictional wear on parts.]
It can be proven that the additive helps reduce frictional wear on parts.
[Tests prove the additive helps reduce frictional wear on parts.]
It is a known fact that the additive helps reduce frictional wear on parts.
[Facts show the additive helps reduce frictional wear on parts.]
3) Check for Correctness
Correctness check included grammar and mechanics. Grammar includes spelling and
punctuation. A mechanics check looks at format and typography.
Chapter Three: Tips for Scientific Writing
Section One: The Characteristics of Scientific Writing
There are six basic characteristics that are necessary for effective scientific writing.
Clarity: The document must convey a single meaning that the reader can understand easily.
Accuracy: The facts must be recorded carefully.
Comprehensiveness: The document must include all the information that the reader will need.
Accessibility: The readers can easily locate the information they seek.
Conciseness: The document must be just long enough to be clear.
Correctness: The writing displays correct grammar, punctuation, and usage. It also follows
designated format standards.
Of the six, clarity and conciseness are the most essential characteristics for scientific writing.
1. Clarity
There are some major elements in achieving clarity. These elements assure clear and understandable writing.
1) Shorter Sentences
In academic writing, there is probably no greater problem than needlessly long sentences. The more words there are to read in a sentence, the more you must keep track of and understand. Long sentences make readers try to keep track of more information than is easily managed. When a sentence goes beyond 30 words, it becomes all but impossible to read without going back and studying it for meaning. For example:
It certainly appears that once the tests have been finalized on the new polymer for the motor housings, we can gain a firm and clear consensus on what actions concerning the replacement or the continuance of present housing materials should be, because the next run on housing is due on the 15th of next month.[55 words]
Revised:
After testing the new polymer for motor housings, we must make a final decision on whether to use it or not. We must decide on which polymer to use before the next production run, scheduled for the 15th of next month.
2) Active Language
Strong, active verbs give the writing energy and power that add interest and understanding to the message. Weak, passive verbs rob the writing of power and interest.
Action verbs can describe events in either an active voice or a passive voice. Sentences in the active voice have a direct subject-verb-object structure. Sentences in the passive voice have an indirect structure. Changing verb constructions to the active voice helps each sentence in two ways. First, each thought becomes a logical route from cause to effect(doer to receiver). Second, the writer uses fewer words when using the active voice. The economy of words is the essence of concise and direct writing. For example:
1. All Engineering Change Notices must be approved by the engineering manager.
2. Antiseptic content was not properly analyzed by our satellite lab.
3. Excessive engine wear is also characterized by low compression readings.
4. The faulty valve was quickly found by the emergency maintenance crew.
5. The voltage across the circuit was measured by assembly personnel at three different points.
Changed:
1. The engineering manager must approve all Engineering Change Notices.
2. Our satellite lab improperly analyzed antiseptic content.
3. Low compression reading also characterize excessive engine wear.
4. The emergency maintenance crew quickly found the faulty valve.
5. Assembly personnel measured the voltage across the circuit at three different points.
3) Avoidance of Suppressed Verbs
Turning a verb into a noun suppresses the verb’s ability to act. These verbs become an event
rather than an action. Take notice of noun endings such as –tion, -ance, -ment, -ing, -al, and
–ancy. These will often signal a suppressed verb. For example:
1. Performance of the new stabilizer was far better than past designs.
2. Stabilization of the compound took place early in the experiment.
3. The milling of the three steel bases was done in the new computerized machining center.
4. Performance of the turbines was not acceptable by industry standards.
5. Evaporation of the fuel will take place in a matter of seconds.
When suppressed verbs are rewritten into activated verbs, sentences gain action and force.
1. The new stabilizer performed far better than past designs.
2. The compound stabilized early in the experiment.
3. The three steel bases were milled in the new computerized machining center.
4. The turbines performed unacceptably by industry standards.
5. The fuel will evaporate in seconds.
4) Needless Verbs
Needless verb constructions add to the sentence’s complexity and difficulty without adding
meaning. This results in writing that seeks to impress rather than express. In the following
sentences, the underlined verbs are needless.
1. Alignment of the cutting tool on the arbor must be accomplished by using spacers.
2. Caloric oxidation is dependent on regular exercise for burning.
3. The analysis of the anti-rust coating shows a large variation from earlier tests.
4. Rubber is strengthened by using sulphur and other additives.
5. You must examine the earlier test results that were involved.
Activate these sentences by eliminating each needless verbs:
1. Use spacers to align the cutting tool on the arbor.
2. Regular exercise burns calories.
3. Analysis of the anti-rust coating varies greatly from earlier tests.
4. Sulphur and other additives strengthen rubber.
5. You must examine the earlier test results.
2. Conciseness
Concise writing provides exactly what the reader needs and not a bit more or less. Bloated writing with superfluous information serves to confuse and obscure.
1) Brevity
Brevity is at the heart of getting to the point. You must use an economy of words that allow the reader to get the message immediately. Get to the point in the shortest route that still allows the reader to understand. In the following sentence, what should be a direct and concise statement rambles:
A decision on this matter must be made in a prompt manner before the deadline comes and
goes.
Revised:
We must decide on this before the deadline.
2) Redundancy and Cliches
To be concise demands one-time statements that are clear and need no repetition. Redundancy occurs when statements are repeated needlessly. In the following examples, note the redundancy and how it has been eliminated:
1. A decision was made to stop the project.
Revised:
We decided to stop the project.
2. At this point of time, the motor housing will remain square in shape.
Revised:
At this time, the motor housing will remain square.
Some cliches to avoid are as follows:
during the course of--- during
in the vast majority of cases--- in most cases
on a weekly basis--- weekly
until such time as--- until
due to the fact that--- due to
few in number--- few
3) Affected and Vague Words
You should use common words where possible and use difficult technical terms only where they
are needed. The problem lies less often with technical terms than with an affectation of
vocabulary. Consider the following examples:
ascertain--- find out
contiguous--- touching
elucidate--- make clear
facile--- easy
subsequently--- later
tenuous--- thin
utilize--- use
4) The Concrete Use of Language
In technical writing (as opposed to literature), adverbs and adjectives do not describe their verbs and nouns exactly and concretely. How heavy is very heavy? How acute is quite acute? You must write with exact and concrete terms and concepts. In the following example, vague and abstract use of language has been converted to concrete and exact use of language:
The roadbed must be made with added strength and durability.[vague]
The roadbed must be paved over reinforcement-bar (rebar) for added strength and durability.
[exact and concrete]
Section Two: The Organization and Development of Scientific Writing
Understandable writing must be organized and developed. Scientific writing must have an obvious structure. Where this structure becomes most pronounced is in instructional procedures. When you organize your writing, you work it into a method of development that will best serve your writing objective and your mix of readers. There are many ways to develop scientific writing. The following methods of development are common in contemporary scientific writing.
1. The Organization of Text
1) General to Specific Development
This form of development takes a general statement, concept, or position and then moves toward the specific elements that support this general position.
2) Specific to General Development
This form of development takes specific statements, concepts, or positions and combine them to form a whole. This is the opposite direction of general to specific in that the specifics are combined to come out with the general conclusion.
3) Chronological Development
Chronological development is based on time. Events or procedures are normally shown in terms of their occurrence. The time sequence normally reflects past-present-future or future-present-past. Remember that this type of development is only effective if the time sequence is the most important element. This type of development is used in the highly theoretical and scientific fields where historically documenting the development or progress of technology is concerned.
4) Sequential Development
This is a method of development in which the order of events determines the structure of the writing. The order of sequence will depend on what criteria are used to set up the sequence. Order of importance or necessity are two likely sequences. Process descriptions and technical instructions are the most common types of writing to use this type of development.
5) Cause and Effect
This is a method of development that emphasizes a process in which one element causes the next. It does not matter whether you start with the cause and move to the effect or, conversely, start with the effect and explain it with the cause. Highly scientific and highly technical experiments and processes usually depend on this type of development for explanation and definition.
6) Comparison and Contrast
(Comparison reveals similarities of things that are basically alike.
Contrast reveals differences of things that are basically alike.
Analogy reveals similarities of things that are basically different.)
This method of development shows how things are alike as well as different from each other. It is especially useful in explaining unfamiliar concepts by comparing the new concept to a familiar one.
7) Spatial Development
This development method relates to the position and space that physical elements occupy. This type of development is crucial in the description of mechanisms and how their parts interrelate and operate.
8) Listing
Listing saves your reader time and makes it far easier to see what the various elements of the list are.
2.The Organization of Paragraph
In English, the paragraph is the basic building block of an entire piece of writing. Words are critical, but they have limited use outside the context of the sentence. Sentences and the countless ways of structuring them are fascinating. But it’s only when sentences converge into a paragraph that they can bear the weight of a technical writing task.
1)Topic Sentence
Paragraphs in English are expected to include a keystone sentence: the topic sentence. Most readers will look for an explicit (expressed) topic sentence. In academic writing, a well-written paragraph can contain an implicit (understood) topic sentence instead of one that is stated. But for the purpose of technical writing and its simple style, always write out your topic sentence.
In general writing, the placement of the topic sentence is the writer’s choice. It may be the first sentence, announcing the topic of the paragraph; it may be the last sentence, summarizing the paragraph’s message; or it may be anywhere within the paragraph.
Placing the topic sentence early in the paragraph contributes to clarity. The reader can’t mistake the purpose of the paragraph.
2) Paragraph Characteristics
Three characteristics are necessary for a satisfactory paragraph: unity, completeness, coherence.
1. Paragraph Unity
Paragraph unity is the close relationship of all sentences in a paragraph to the topic sentence. The entire paragraph, regardless of its length, focuses on one aspect of one topic. The content of each sentence is closely related to the content of the topic sentence. For example:
Large amount of electric power are needed to run the pumps and compressors used in
the gaseous diffusion process for the nation’s uranium enrichment programs. The three
diffusion plants would require about 7,800 megawatts of electricity to operate at their
full capacity, or about three percent of total U.S. electric power generation. Primarily
because of this large consumption of costly electricity, it is estimated that in the early
1990’s the price the U.S. will have to charge for enrichment service will be uncompetitive
in the world market.
Paragraph unity is easy to achieve. Write a strong topic sentence, place it very early in the
paragraph, and make sure that every other sentence in the paragraph relates closely to it.
2. Paragraph Completeness
Paragraph completeness is the existence of sufficient evidence within a paragraph to prove the
topic sentence or to support it satisfactorily. A simple test for completeness is to ask if the
reader will come back to the writer with questions about the announced topic of the paragraph.
Here is a bad example:
The concept of the systems approach is simple. Systems are complex products or process.
Whether something is a product or a process or both, if it is sufficiently large and complex,
it may qualify as a system. In an oversimplified fashion, the approach of applying
numerous, highly disparate enabling mechanisms to the creation of complex and large
products or process is what we call the systems approach. There are dozens of overlapping
terms floating around to define systems, but we choose to define it as a large or complex
product or process that relies on a number of enabling mechanisms to bring it into being.
The paragraph is undeveloped. The writer has negated the problem by merely saying the same
thing over and over.
3. Paragraph Coherence
Paragraph coherence is the holding together of sentences within a paragraph by more than
sequence on the page. Even though a paragraph looks like a paragraph(it’s indented, has unity,
and contains sufficient information about a single topic), it still may not pass as a good
paragraph. Not only must the sentences all relate to a single topic, they should also have
interconnectivity. Paragraph coherence is often achieved by three mechanical devices:
transitional words and phrases,
pronoun reference, and
repeated key terms.
1) Transitional words and phrases
Using transitional words and phrases is the basic way of relating one sentence to another. These words and phrases are used all the time in all levels of writing. They can be used within a sentence, between sentences, and between paragraphs. Usually, they are classified into groups according to their general meaning.
To add an idea also, and, first, moreover, too, next, similarly, furthermore
To compare an idea like, likewise, similarly, equally, correspondingly
To contrast an idea but, nevertheless, however, in contrast, instead, otherwise,
on the other hand, unlike, contrary to
To concede although, of course, at the same time
To illustrate for example, to illustrate, for instance, in other words
To show result therefore, thus, consequently, as a result, hence, accordingly
To show time then, afterward, later, meanwhile, now, earlier, immediately, before
To show frequency often, frequently, sometimes, now, then
To show steps in process first, second, third,…
The following selection illustrates good use of transitional expressions to relate one idea to another:
There are two other considerations that favor sole source procurement from this company.
First, the nonrecurring engineering costs of this purchase order are justified and
reasonable as it will require engineering modification to combine three of the single-axis
probes into one 3-D Delta configuration. In addition, the construction process itself will
be modified so that future probes can be purchased as “off-the-shelf” items by medical
researchers in and out of government. Second, Narda has quoted delivery time on these
new 3-D Delta probes to be 16 weeks. Narda has a reputation for delivering usable,
reliable, and well-constructed products; consequently, the probe should require minimal
time for acceptance testing.
Finally, there is no other company that could deliver these probes in 16 weeks. Should
another company appear, acceptance testing would take at least one staff year, and
commercial availability would not be a reality for yet another year. The end result would
be an unnecessary delay in studies of the biological effects of nonionizing radiation, only
possible with implantable probes.
2) Pronoun Reference
Pronoun reference is a more subtle way achieving coherence. It sets up a dynamic relationship between nouns and pronouns. It ties together elements within a sentence and it also relates one sentence to another. Sometimes several patterns of reference can be operating simultaneously. This kind of writing results in richly textured prose. Note how the various kinds of pronouns in the following short selection echo the noun-subject systems.
Systems are complex products or processes. As a rule, they are also large in scope. A
proper understanding of them leads to the systems approach which applies numerous
and highly disparate enabling mechanisms to their creation.
The pronouns of the second and third sentences relate back to the noun that introduces the
topic sentence, pulling the three sentences together.
3) Repeated Key Terms
Students have been taught for decades that they should not repeat the same noun in a paragraph. They are encouraged to find substitute words. These instructions have created a great problem because few if any exactly match the meaning of the original word. In technical writing where vocabulary has great specificity, if you abandon the specific word that conveys a concept in favor of a feeble substitute, you weaken your writing and may also confuse your reader.
3. Sentence Organization
Sentence structure (syntax) offers another way of displaying your virtuosity as a writer. With a
good command of syntax, you can add a varied beat to your writing. Sentence variety is a subtle
way of keeping your reader interested in your prose.
1) Subject-Verb Agreement
Remember the basic rule: A verb must agree with its subject in number. Sometimes, however,
it’s difficult to identify the real subject of a sentence. There are numerous situations where
sentence structure can cause subject-verb agreement problem.
Intervening modifiers
1. General Creech, a member of the USAF Thunderbirds, was our March
Distinguished Lecturer.
2. The medals, one of which belonged to Colonel Henry, are in excellent condition.
Inverted order of subject and verb
1. In the afternoon come the advanced briefings.
2. Has any one of you seen the briefing chart?
Collective nouns
1. The red team have completed a successful review.
2. The committee of grey beards have completed all aspects of the project review.
Subject nouns that appear to be plural
1. The news is not favorable.
2. Both journal articles state that AIDS was fatal in 98.7 percent of the recorded
cases.
Words that are always plural
1. Sanitary clothes are required in the chip production line.
2. Cattle are creating an ozone problem by releasing gas into the air.
Words as words(words used merely as word rather than the idea they represent)
1. Memoranda is our corporation’s approved plural form of memorandum.
2. Liaisonis the word my administrative assistant misspelled.
Title of book, article, or lecture, or quotation as subject
1. “Characterization of the Iron Active Site of Phenylalanine Hydroxylase” is the title
of Dr. Glasfeld’s lecture.
2. “Protein Engineering to Exploit and Explore Bovine Secretary Ribonuncleases” is
Dr. Kim’s topic for Monday’s lecture.
The word number as a subject
1. The number of proposals was impressive.
2. A number of the best papers were given honorable mention.
Expressions of quantity
(Subtraction and division take a singular verb.)
1. Six minus three is three.
2. Six divided by three is two.
(Addition and multiplication take either a singular or a plural verb.)
1. Four and six are ten.
2. Four times six is twenty-four.
Compound subjects
1. My colleague and friend has agreed to join our group.
2. My colleague and a friend have agreed to join our group.
Subjects connected with correlative conjunctions
(In sentence in which subject is connected with correlative conjunctions as either/or,
neither/nor, not only/but also, the verb agrees with the unit closest to itself.)
1. Either Colonel Abraham or his deputies plan to attend.
2. Either three deputies or Colonel Abraham plans to attend.
These pronoun subjects as either, neither, each, one, and those ending in –one, -body,
-thing, take singular verbs.
1. Each of the prototypes was made in our own shop.
2. Everybody in this department has a Sun workstation.
Phrases as subjects are singular.
1. Attending a lecture makes me drowsy.
2. Eating a big lunch and attending a lecture make me drowsy.
2) Parallelism
Parallelism means using the same grammatical structure for all logically similar parts of a sentence. It holds sentences together, adds emphasis, and provides a smooth, rhythmic flow to writing. If used extensively, it can relate sentences to one another and even provide effective coherence between paragraphs. It’s usually economical, because fewer word are needed to express ideas if they’re grammatically parallel. The following are some examples:
1. Emanon Technical Report #900 is out of stock and out of print.
2. Terry’s ambition is to win a promotion and to earn a raise.
3) Active Language
“Voice” is the form of transitive verbs that shows whether the subject acts or is acted upon. Many scientists overuse the passive voice , for they first learn to write in passive voice in undergraduate science courses. But passive verbs rob the writing of power and interest because of its wordy structure with the use of by… phrases and auxiliaries. Moreover, the omission if you decide of by-phrase will results in obscurity.
On the contrary, active voice adds vigor and clarity to the writing because it is the primary means of protecting your reader from boredom with what could be a tedious text.
4) Misplaced and Dangling Modifiers
Because it’s the nature of modifiers to expand on the meaning of the words they modify, they should be placed close to those words. Adjectives need to be near the noun or pronoun they modify, and adverbs should be before, after, or between verb elements.
Misplaced modifiers, because of their placement in a sentence, ambiguously or illogically modify a word. The following examples can show the need for care when placing modifiers:
1. Desmond almost completed (almost) 200 pages of his annual report.
2. Employees who complain often get results.
More frequent than the misplaced and two-way modifiers are the dangling modifiers.
Dangling modifier refers to the participle which has no referent in the sentence. A participle
is said to “dangle” when its implied subject is not the subject of the main clause of the
sentence. For example:
1. After separating the participants into groups, Group A was tested.
2. The participants were tested using this procedure.
5) Premodification
Extensive quantification and qualification have always been used by scientists to describe their subjects. Compared, qualification is more difficult than quantification. Multiple words exist to describe functions and qualities; qualities often need further specification. This is known as premodification.
Premodification consists of long strings of modifiers in front of nouns. Heavy premodification is awkward, and it sometimes causes ambiguity. Here is an example of a sentence with heavy premodification.
The Sears catalogue advertised a mobile hopper fed compressed air operated grit blasing
machine.
Reduced to its essentials, this sentence would read:
The Sears catalogue advertised a grit blasting machine.
The best way to untangle the premodification maze is to break out some of the descriptive elements into phrases and to place them in various positions in the sentence. Here is one solution to the problem this sentence poses.
The Sears catalogue advertised a grit blasting machine, which is fed from a hopper and
operated by compressed air.
4. The Choice of Words
The choice of words is within the scope of stylistics. Proper use of words reinforces the
readability, conciseness and clarity.
1) Some Pretentious Words
Pretentious words can blur an issue of decrease of a document’s overall readability. It is especially important for scientists to use clear, simple expressions.
Some Multisyllable Words with Simple Replacements
Pretentious Word Replacement Pretentious Word Replacement
accomplish do fundamental basic
allocate put, place initiate start
apparent clear methodology method
2) Some Confusing Words
Some English word are often confused. Confusion of one word for another will result in an error. A wrong word can cause a greater failure of understanding than a grammar error. For example:
it’s, its it’s is a contraction of it is; its is a possessive pronoun.
precede, proceed To precede is to go ahead of; to proceed is to go forward.
3. Note-taking Guidelines
1. Figure out the main point of the lecture.
2. Note facts(names, dates, statistics, concepts) that the speaker emphasizes.
3. Listen for new/important verbs and nouns.
4. Ignore unimportant words like “a, the, it, and”…
5. Omit “is, are, am”.
6. Use meaningful symbols (e.g.: =, +, CO2) to replace long words.
7. Use abbreviations for terms that are frequently used in the lecture (e.g.: “C” for computer, “Ch” for Chemistry, “QT” for Quantum Theory). Use whatever is useful for you.
Chapter Four: Oral Communication
Section One: Meeting People
1. Cultural Note
First, there are certain things that people consider to be personal and private information. They consider that this is nobody’s business but their own. They are free to volunteer the information to you if they desire, but they will be very offended if you ask them about it. Such topics are: age, salary, and the price of items bought. Another sensitive topic to women especially is weight and any unusual physical feature the person might have. Never mention such things.
Another thing is that when you introduce yourself to someone for the first time in a fairly formal situation, you would use both your first and last names. Using only last name would be considered impolite.
2. Cultural Rules for Formal and Informal Introductions
Formal Informal
When to use: someone of high office or status: lower status: assistant
college president, professors, old
person
special occasions: at official informal occasions: at informal
functions as business meetings, parties or meetings
conferences
Characteristics: longer sentences, reduced sentence length,
use of titles, lack of titles,
formal words and phrases simpler language
3. Social Interaction
Opening conversation:
Informal
Hello. I’m looking for some information.
I wonder if you could help/tell me…
I need to find out…
Do you have any information on…
Where is…, please?
Formal
Excuse me, may I ask you a question?
Pardon me, may I interrupt you for a moment to ask you a question?
Excuse me, would you mind…?
Continuing conversation:
I also need to find out about…
There is something else I was wondering about…
Ending conversation:
Informal
OK. Good talking to you.
Yeah. I hope to see you around.
Take care.
Formal
It was very nice talking to you.
I hope we’ll meet again soon.
I do too. That would be nice.
Expressions of farewell:
Informal
Have a nice day.
Enjoy your weekend.
See you (around).
So long.
Bye.
Formal
It was a pleasure to meet you.
I hope you enjoyed a nice evening (day, week, etc.).
Good-bye. (Good night.)
4. Agreeing and Disagreeing
Agreement:
That’s a good point.
That’s true.
Exactly.
That’s just what I was thinking.
I agree.
I like that.
That’s a good idea.
Disagreement:
Yes, but don’t you think…
I don’t see it that way.
I agree with you, but…
I’m not sure if I agree with you.
I think there might be a problem.
No, I don’t think I agree.
I don’t think that would work.
Section Two: Attending Lectures
1. Debate Techniques:
Isn’t it just possible that…?
I see your point, but…
Surely you must admit that…
Maybe so, but wouldn’t you agree that…
Possibly, but…
No, I wouldn’t go along with you about…
Sorry, I don’t quite agree with you on…
2. Interrupting Techniques:
Excuse me for interrupting, but…
May I ask something?
Pardon me, I’d like to ask a question.
May I ask a question?
Sorry to interrupt, but…
Sorry, I…
3. Returning-to-topic Techniques:
In any case…
Anyway…
Getting back to my story…
To get back to …
Where was I? Oh yes…
As I was saying…
4. Clarifying Questions:
Would you mind telling me more about…?
I think I’m lost. Could you explain…again?
Sorry to bother you, but could you tell me…?
I don’t think I caught…
Could you give us an illustration?
What do you mean by…?
Sorry, I don’t quite understand why…
Excuse me, I’m not very clear about…
Can you repeat…, please?
Excuse me, what does the word______mean?
Section Three: Presentation of Researching Information
1. Presentation of Survey Results:
Survey population
The people we interviewed consisted of…
The respondents to our survey included…
The survey population was made up of…
Questionnaire content
The following questions were used in our survey…
We developed five questions for our survey. They were…
Our questionnaire included the following items…
Findings
Our findings were…
We discovered that…
Our work indicated that…
The survey revealed that…
Conclusions
In conclusion, we believe that…
This could be interpreted to mean…
This may/might/would/could indicate…
These findings suggest/point to …
2. Improving Public Speaking Skills
Nearly everyone who speaks in front of audience is naturally nervous. However, a good
speaker will do several things to hide this nervousness and project a sense of confidence.
Here’s how:
___ Take a deep breath before you speak
___ Choose a friendly face to talk to
___ Begin with a winning smile
___ If you’re really nervous, look just above the heads of the people in the back row
Public speaking skills:
Proper Speed___speaking at a normal rate so people can easily understand you.
Proper Volume___speaking at an appropriate level so everyone in the room can hear you.
Proper Pronunciation___pronuncing words clearly and distinctly.
Proper Posture___standing erect, looking at your audience not your notes.
3. Speaking Confidently
Speaking smoothly is a sign of good preparation and being well-informed about one’s topic.
Faltering with verbal ticks or awkward apologies will cause the audience to doubt speaker’s
ability or worse. By speaking confidently, the speaker convinces the audience of the value of
the research.
Aspects for speaking confidently:
1. knowing your material. You need to find out in advance what material will be appropriate
for audience’s needs and interests.
2. avoiding the use of filler words and verbal “ticks” as “er, mmm, uh, m” in a formal setting.
Fillers make you appear uncertain and unprofessional.
3. never apologizing during a formal report, as “This isn’t really very good, but…”, “That’s
all we were able to come up with.”, “This probably isn’t new to any of you”. If you make
this sort of apology, your audience may doubt your abilities and devotion to your work. You
might say:
“Our conclusion is that more work needs to be done in this area to find a workable solution”
or
“Our findings are supported by the findings of others who have worked on this problem/
question although we have used a method different from theirs.”
4. being careful how you use qualifiers.
In informal discussion, you might say:
“In my opinion, our findings aren’t completely convincing.”
“I’m not sure if we’ve gotten to the real core of the problem yet.”
“We may have found a solution, but maybe not.”
But in formal report, you must sound more certain of the value of your word. You might say:
“I’d qualify my interpretation of these results by saying that…”
“While the experiment did not produce the expected result, we have learned that…/we believe that…”
“Further experimentation is necessary to verify or disprove this hypothesis.
[liu1]
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