Your application to any graduate program at SUSE requires you to submit a statement of purpose. We attach great importance to the statement. A thoughtful and well-written statement often makes the difference between admission and denial. But applicants frequently fail to do justice to

themselves in statements of purpose. In what follows, I offer a few tips to help you to make your best effort.

Your statement should clearly have the purpose it is supposed to have.

That sounds too obvious to be worth saying, but many statements fail on this elementary criterion. The statement should be narrowly focused on convincing the intended reader – i.e., a professor at SUSE who teaches in the program to which you are applying – that you have a serious and well-considered purpose in applying to that program. A compelling statement will convince the reader that you are the kind of student likely to thrive in the program to which you are admitted and who would contribute to (and not merely benefit from) our academic autobiographical essays, in which case they become inadvertent disclosures of purposefulness.

A Statement of purpose is not a narrative of your accomplishments.

The reader of your file will make a judgment about whether you merit admission on the basis of many considerations, and your file will include much material including your transcripts, what your referees say about you, etc., that reveal your academic and other accomplishments. There is no harm in mentioning a particular accomplishment in passing in your statement when this is relevant to explaining your purpose in applying to the program. But persuade the reader that he or she is highly qualified for admission. Remember that we will be quick to deny admission if we have

insufficient evidence that the candidate is well-suited to the program by virtue of his or her interests and ambitions, regardless of how intellectually well qualified the applicant might be. The statement of purpose is usually the only part of the applicant’s file where one can find strong evidence of

whether the program will really mesh with the applicant’s interests and ambitions. If you devote the statement to a list of the great things you have done, then you will merely exasperate the reader.

Your statement should be the right length.

The Stanford on-line application says that the statement should be two pages. Many applicants pay

no heed to that stipulation and submit something substantially longer. That is a mistake.

Succinctness is a virtue in academic as in other writing. When your file is being read by members of the faculty, they will be reading it alongside many other files, and they will typically be reading under severe time constraints. People tend not to be especially tolerant of verbosity under these circumstances, to put it mildly. If your reader has evidence that you will take ten words to say

something that another, equally qualified candidate will say in six, you might well find that the other candidate will be preferred over you.

Sometimes a statement can be overly concise by failing to give a sufficiently detailed account of the applicant’s purpose in applying to the program. If your first draft of the statement is merely a page, then it is probably insufficiently detailed.

Make absolutely sure that your statement contains no misspellings, grammatical or factual errors, and that your prose is as lucid as you can possibly make it.

Your readers will reasonably expect that your statement is an example of your writing at its very best. After all, if you are really serious about applying to graduate school, then you will have devoted a lot of time to your statement, and what the reader sees is presumably the outcome of multiple drafts and prolonged effort. Poor writing and factual efforts is very strong evidence that you are not yet ready for graduate school.

A statement of purpose for a doctoral program is different than one for a master’s program.

A master’s program is not inferior to a doctoral program; it is merely different. Therefore, it would be wrong to infer that standards for a statement of purpose in an application to a doctoral program are higher than the standards applicable to master’s applications. But the standards are certainly different. For example, in a statement of application to our master’s in the Social Sciences in Education (SSE), an excellent statement of purpose might or might not indicate any particular

research topic that the student wishes to pursue in the program. The student might also be unsure about which particular social sciences would be the most important ones in his or her studies. Being unclear about these matters is not inappropriate when one is applying to a broadly focused master’s program. But being unclear about them would certainly be a liability in a doctoral application. Academic programs are more intensively specialized at the doctoral level, and a corresponding degree of specialization and precision in the way applicants specify their academic purposes is

reasonably expected. Evidence of your familiarity with the educational research currently under way

at SUSE is probably a good thing to see in any statement of purpose, even at the master’s level. But in a doctoral application, it is extremely important to show that your interests converge closely with the current research of faculty who work in the program to which you are applying. Other doctoral applicants will certainly do this, and if you do not, you will forfeit an important competitive advantage to them.

Your statement should be tailored to the particular institution to which you are applying.

This is not strictly necessary at the master’s level, but even there it is a good idea. Of course, it is only commonsense to apply to several similar programs at different institutions, and so your statement of purpose in applying to a program at SUSE may be 80% the same as the statement you submit to three or four programs elsewhere. But the few sentences that address why you are applying to this institution in particular can be very helpful. A student’s application might be quite strong overall without making it clear to the reader why Stanford in particular would be an excellent fit for the student, as opposed to some other institution to which he or she has applied. A statement of purpose can stand out by addressing that question directly and persuasively.

 

第二篇：Personal_Statement修改版2.

Personal Statement

Proposed Programme: LLM at **** University

Applicant: ZHOU Xia

My desire to study Law stems from a growing fascination with World events, as well as with the minutiae of our day-to-day existence. The event of Sino-American special protectionist tariffs once again unveils the crucial and indispensable status of law in the global context. A complete set of regulation should be needed to standardize every country’s behavior and to coordinate the contradictions among different nations. Stimulated by the prominent controversies in the world, I am firm with my choice to pursue jurisprudence in this realm. As Helena Kennedy QC states 'The Law is the bedrock of a nation; it tells us who we are, what we value, who has power, and who hasn't. Almost nothing has more impact on our lives.' ('Just Law', 2004) That’s, law is not only the weapon of counterattacking criminals but also the disseminator of human nature, and lawyers can be an important source of protein. I am convinced that studying in a brand-new condition with strong and mature atmosphere of law learning will pave my way to my dream soon. I promise that I will make greater accomplishment if offered the valuable opportunity to study at your university.

1）其实写ps不同创作文章，不需要刻意去强调新意，而是要注重把学生的专业素养体现出来。其实你朋友提的意见也是有道理的，可以把你的工作经验提前，之前我帮学生也有这样写的。但是要注意到文章结构这个问题，因为你的法律工作经验很丰富，我在ps里引用了三个比较突出和有代表性的，如果以事例开头，就要先把事例都写完，然后再接你的学习动机等，这样的结构我也有考虑过的，但是就会显得头重脚轻了，所以我放弃了这种结构。还是决定先以你的学习目的作为开头。2）关于你朋友提到的多写你观察到什么现象，其实我写这个中美关税问题就是为了表现你理论联系实际，在最新的国际时事里发现法律的重要性和社会地位。然后引用的名言是进一步支撑你对法律的认识。3）所以，第一段其实就是整个你学习目的表现，如果单纯空白写，可能就会空洞点，考虑到这点，我当初写的时候就想起引用事例，这样一会吸引目光，二可以体现你是个关心国家时事，注重理论联系实际的学生，外国学校比较喜欢这样的学生哦。

As regards my academic studies, I have established solid groundwork in law. Owning to my excellent abilities of analysis and apprehension, I performed well in my speciality receiving three successive scholarships. What’s more, I am fond of thinking independently and critically. Never am I confined to the original thoughts or the written doctrines but to put forward my own perspectives and understanding, which is important in law learning. It is not exaggerative that I have added immense vitality into my major courses because of my active and innovative thinking. I have been well received among my peers and my teachers for my outstanding academic performance and creation, so it will be with your students and instructors.

Apart from my academic accomplishment, my internships in Civil Court of People’s Court of Shangrao City and D&S law firm give impetus to my deeper comprehension in law and to a great extent broaden my horizon. During the time, I well applied my

attained in class into practice. I try my best to be familiarized with the lawsuit procedure and to accumulate valuable experience in the law affairs. Meanwhile, I was provided with the opportunity to carry out investigation and obtain evidences with the solicitors, by which I profoundly experienced the tough and industrious preparation work of a counsel for the defence. I learn to be meticulous and observing in every piece of detail. Besides, I come to realize the shortcomings in our law system so that some people take advantage of the loopholes to escape prosecution.

In order to perfect the legislation system in China, I gradually understand that I have to learn the progressive law model and thoughts of developed countries, personally experiencing the foreign legislation which will be beneficial for my further achievements in the enhancement of Chinese. For the sake of my blessed talents and capabilities, I have no doubt of my aptitudes to be competent for your postgraduate program in Law.

Another precious experience in law I hope share with you is my working in CPRDC (Center for Protection of Rights of Disadvantaged Citizens), offering law service to the disadvantage in our society. By means of my endeavor, I have succeeded in getting even for my client, attaining compensation for his industrial injury to guarantee the life of his whole family. I feel proud not only of my tremendous success after amount of industrious work, but also of my hand to the social weakness to help them out of trouble. It is my ambition to be a commonweal solicitor because of a great many existing social contradictions in China. It is doubtless that groups of people are out of the shelter of law due to their weak awareness of legal protection as well as imbalanced distribution of law resources. Thus I aspire for progressive equipment as a qualified lawyer to unveil the illegal behaviors such as discrimination and breaching of duty etc, being the voice for the public.

以上都是写关于你的法律实习例子。1）你朋友提出可以用故事的形式来描写事例，我不太赞成，其实这就关系到英国和美国ps写作风格的不同。美国的ps不同英国ps，美国ps就是可以抓住其中一个特点，然后整篇就像写故事一样展开描述；但是英国ps的要求不是这样，而是简述事例然后总结你的心得和体会，学校主要是看学生有没这方面的经验和自己有没一些想法。所以你的法律实习不需要用故事形式一个个描写哦。2）还有你朋友说到的要具体（譬如中国法律漏洞），我是刻意没有写明白的，就是这样轻轻一笔带过，说你在实习过程中，不免发现这样的人会钻法律的漏洞，所以在未来你希望可以为完善中国法律出一份力，这就是刚好点到为止。如果太多描写中国的法律漏洞是什么，一不需要，二是显得有点贬低中国法律，崇洋媚外的感觉。3）最后就是你朋友提到的你选择法律的哪个方向，希望在学校增加什么知识，因为我看到你选的基本都是LLM，只有一间是选了国际商法，所以我在ps里就没有刻意点明你要选择哪个方向，而是从大的方面入手，在你事例中都体现你要进修法律的原因和决心，而且还点明了你以后的ambition，就是从事公益律师事业，为更多无助的人提供法律援助（我觉得这个方向很好，公益律师的路不好走，很艰辛，但是你能有这样的抱负，我相信学校一定也会为之打动，所以我在你学习计划这点上，选择了你以后希望做一名出色的公益律师。4）最后，我们写ps也是控制在两页之内的，这篇ps

刚好就是一页半多一点，没有超过两页。

Considered my intelligence and future career goal, I am looking forward to receiving further education in it at your university. It is of immense appreciation for me to be offered this precious opportunity.

Yours faithfully,

ZHOU Xia

November 13, 2009