2016幽默古文自我介绍范文

自我介绍是日常工作中与陌生人建立关系、打开局面的一种非常重要的手段，好的自我介绍给人第一印象会深刻，下面小编带来幽默古文的自我介绍范文，保你人人都记住你，认识你。

"春读书，兴味长，磨其砚，笔花香。

年方二十，习得英语。

读书求学不宜懒，天地日月比人忙。

燕语莺歌希领悟，桃红李白写文章。

寸阴分阳须爱惜，休负春色与韶光;夏读书，日正长，晨早起，至落阳。 笔耕不辍勤著书，灯下苦读声朗朗。

绿柳扶疏风光好，芭蕉树下气候凉。

三伏天里闲人少，勤读苦学名自扬;秋读书，玉露凉，钻科研，写文章。 晨钟暮鼓催人急，燕去雁来促我忙。

菊开疏篱情寂寞，枫红曲岸事彷徨。

千金一刻莫虚度，老大无成空自伤;冬读书，年去忙，翻古典，细思量。 挂角负薪称李密，囊萤映雪有孙康。围炉向火好勤读，踏雪寻梅莫乱逛。 丈夫欲遂平生志，十载寒窗一举扬。"

 

第二篇：超幽默自我介绍范文

具体坐标北纬197.5度，东经36.55度。出生地：医院 出生后第一件做的事哭，为什么，因为我一张开眼就看到两个人在那里笑的欢，心里琢磨，偶招惹谁了，嘲笑偶？19xx年2月，满月， 前来为我祝寿的人很多，送红包的

木飞，十九岁，男，未婚。19xx年1月出生，出生具体坐标北纬197.5度，东经

出生后第一件做的事——哭，为什么，因为我一张开眼就看到两个人在那里笑的欢，心里琢磨，偶招惹谁了，嘲笑偶？19xx年2月，满月， 前来为我祝寿的人很多，送红包的人也不少，当时年少，除了见钱眼开外，还很好色——当然是红色，打开一看，晕，居然只有10块，心里巨不爽：你大爷滴，这 么少，你以为我是三岁小孩啊（好象刚满月）！19xx年1月，我一岁生日，我的死党小菲前来赴宴（病句），我心里热乎，把我最爱的变形金刚送给了她，结果 她——跑了，我极度伤心，我的初恋还没开始就失败了，我想。19xx年扉月，我进入了托儿所深造，得到教育部门的通知后，我大喜若狂，幼儿园的阿姨叫我飞 仔，我说叫我飞哥行不行？她狂吐！第三月，偶成立了“木飞幼儿园集团”我任CEO（首席执行官）实际操纵了幼儿园的全部股权，次月，由于“尿布风波案”我 迫于压力下台，公司宣布破产，我人生的第一次事业宣告失败，失望！ 织梦内容管理系统 36.55度。出生地：医院

19xx年9月，我步入了人间天堂——小学。第一天，老师选班干部要求有意的

当上班长，有你们哭的日子，我一下台，有一个甜美笑容的丫头就在几个男生的起哄中趋之若骛，她说：我叫小燕子……我就想起了我家房檐下的 哪个燕窝，我问自己：大人为什么那么喜欢吃燕窝，不都是泥做的吗？19xx年我四年级，香港回归，作为大队委员会最具魅力和最具潜力的我发表了演说，我 说，香港是我们的儿子，还没断奶就被人抢走了，现在他回来了，真是好儿子乖儿子，啊！我们死也瞑目了，我看到校长与班主任等人被我感动的七孔流血，我无比 欣慰，

很蓝，蓝的象天空一样，我想起我六年中造的无数多个病句中的一个——今 天天气好晴朗万里碧空飘着朵朵白云。今儿过了，我也一大人了，大人就应该做点大人的事，于是我搓了，搓了一上午，谁发明的麻将，拖出去活埋了，我赌博了， 我是坏孩子了，我想，心里空空的，那天晚上也没睡好觉，心想，那二万他是怎么

20xx年我步入了“举人”培训中心学习，看着同学们虔诚的眼光我就想起了我家的那只狗阿黄，好乖哦，我同桌是个才女，叫小鹃，我想 起一年级鼓起勇气上台演讲结果还是输给我的小燕子，这儿年女孩子的名字杂都和动物沾亲带故的，妈妈说的母性美是不是那样D?小鹃写了很多诗，每次我成了评 审员，有时糊我的。

候，我觉得她写的好烂，譬如：天，还没亮，太阳已经出来了……汗！20xx年非典肆掠，我被确认为疑似“疑似病例”，虽然疑似“疑似病例”不是 疑似病例，但我已经很疑似“疑似病例”了，再疑似一点，就真成疑似病例了。我见人便说：我有病，哪知道别人不但不害怕，反尔说：你确实有病，我就纳闷儿， 这年

初中毕业我踏上了一条“不归路”，说起来有点荒唐，在香港只买了一双袜子，在武汉的长江大桥下啃西瓜，在广州的中山大学里吃冰激凌， 在东莞的超市里买一瓶可乐看一上午的“三国演义”，在樟木头的沙滩上把脚埋进沙坑里，等潮来了拔起脚就跑……我多想实现我的那个小小小愿望啊——在海边儿 有个窝，还有只小船，上面装满人民币，港元，美元，欧元……

20xx年9月我在金堂最高学府“金堂中学状元系”读书，开学典礼上校长振振有辞的说：今天天气好晴朗，万里碧空飘着朵朵白云……晕~ 我突然很怀读念小时候了，还有那个病句。我加如了学校文学社，那天又要演讲，我就想我一生中的演讲这么多，我都成一专家了。我说：我虽然才疏学浅，但是学 富五车；虽然貌不惊人，但是相貌堂堂……我看见主管老师又七孔留血了，我顺势说：好样的，男儿流血不流泪！那老师差点一命呜呼了。高中的日子除了无聊外还 很无聊，无聊得我上课时摸出镜子看我的睫毛是不是长长了。“周——木飞，起来回答问题”我心里别扭，干嘛把“周”字拖的怎么长，但我想起了一个成语“周 头不怕死的人杂越来越多了。

长”之后，突然觉得他讲的很有道理，。他叫我回答下句，他说“别有幽愁暗恨生”我不答，他问：你为什么答不出来了？我说：因为“此时无声胜有声”！他狂郁 闷。我觉得这里的老师都暴强，数学老师抱着“圆周率”狂背，English老师抱着<<牛劲词典.20xx年修订本>>滥背，语 文老师抱着<<古汉语词典>>闷背，发给学生的参考书多的好象都不收费一样，高中生最大的消遣可能就是吃饭和睡觉了，有的干脆给 省了觉得那样太奢华，家长望子成龙，望女成凤，我想哪天他们真的成“龙”成“凤”了不吓死人？ 转眼到了高二下期，草长“蝇”飞的时候，除了怀念我的公主，可能最大的娱乐就是改变上课时看老师的角度，我觉得语文老师特好欺负，语 文课上我特爱和他叫板儿！我想起二年级外出郊游，老师问：怎么来判断风向呢？谁来给大家演示一下？我毫不犹豫就冲了出来，捡起一块石头就往天上抛“啊，老 师，吹的

20xx年下期，我们进入了“高考魔鬼训练营”这个时期给我感触最大的就是同学们的脸色，头一天黄色——正常；第二天，红色——可能熬了夜；第三天吓人居然是绿色的，我乍一看满教室都是交通指示灯，肯定随便拉三儿到路口一站，给

交通部门节约大批费用。

20xx年，也就是今年，我19岁的时候，我去年18岁的时候，我前年17岁的时候，我18年前吃奶的时候，面临人生的重大转折，我 感触很多，为此，妹妹对我做了一个专访：木飞哥，高考了，现在心情怎么样？”我说：“紧张，就象女生第一次怀孕样。”“那你有什么打算？”“把孩子生下 来！”我说，妹妹狂喷血！高考体检，医生叫我把裤子脱了，我红着脸问她想干什么，她说了一句话，我脸马上就拉下来了，她说：我代你妈抽你……现在我乱七八 糟的写完

妈妈说：每一天都要过得很好，灿烂的日子才会微笑。我想妈妈说的真好，不愧是木飞的妈妈，成长需要一点点风雨，一些些磨砺，还有一些刻骨铭心的记忆……

19 years old, male, unmarried.Born in January 1987, was born the specific coordinates 197.5 degrees north latitude, 36.55 degrees east

longitude.Birthplace: hospital after the birth of the first thing to do cry, why, because I have a first saw two people smile of huan there, thought, I who provoke ridicule accidentally?In February 1987, the full moon, there are lots of people come to for my birthday, send a red envelope

Wood, 19 years old, male, unmarried.Born in January 1987, was born the specific coordinates 197.5 degrees north latitude, 36.55 degrees east longitude.Birthplace: hospital

After the birth of the first thing to do - cry, why, because I have a first to see two people smile of huan there, thought, I who provoke ridicule accidentally?In February 1987, the full moon, there are lots of people come to for my birthday, and many a red envelope, young at the time, in addition to the dollar, also very lewd, is red, of course, open on see, dizzy, had only 10 blocks, the in the mind of giant: you big ye drops, this is little, you thought I was three years old children (it sounds just a full moon!In January 1988, I first birthday, my best friend phillips to come to dinner (pragmatically), warmed my heart, and gave her my favorite transformers, she ran the - as a result, I was sad, my first love didn't start failed, I think., oh, 1991, I entered the nursery school for further study, after notification by the education department, if I am big, kindergarten aunt asked me to fly, I said call me flying elder brother line not line?She's crazy vomit!The first of march, I set up the "wood fly kindergarten group" I am a CEO (chief executive) entire stake in the actual manipulation of the kindergarten, the next month, because "diapers storm case" I are under pressure to step down, the company declared bankruptcy, the business

failed, for the first time of my life down!Weave the dream content management system

In September 1994, I entered a paradise on earth - primary school.The first day, the teacher selected the class cadre for intentional to the

everybody just keep smile, I want to monitor, such as when I have the days of your cry, I am a step down, the girl has a sweet smile is in a few boys in a flock, she said: my name is the swallow...I will think of my house which under the eaves of bird's nest, I ask myself: why so like to eat bird's nest, is not made of clay?My fourth grade in 1997, the return of Hong Kong, as a most attractive brigade committee and the most potential I made a speech, I said that Hong Kong is our son, haven't weaning is being robbed, now he is back, really good son good son, ah!We die with open eyes, I see the principal and the teacher in charge and other people moved seven holes bleeding by me, I am very delighted, but I don't know anything about Hong Kong, only know that Hong Kong feet very

like the sky, I think of my six years to build one of the countless more pragmatically, it is fine day today sunny wanli blue sky white clouds float over the.After today, I'm an adult, man should do one thing, so I rub, rub

the whole morning, who invented the mahjong, dragged off and buried alive, I am gambling, I'm a bad boy, I think, the heart is empty, the night also didn't sleep well, thought, my twenty thousand how he paste. In 2000, I entered a "juren training center", looking at the students devout eye I think of my home, the dog of the yellow, good lovely oh, my deskmate is a talented woman, called small cuckoo, I think a grade summoned the courage to deliver results or loss to swallow, I were a girl's name of mixed and animals share with relatives and friends here, mom said female beauty that D?Small cuckoo wrote many poems, every time I became a review of the review, sometimes, I think she is to write a good bad, such as: day, is not bright, the sun had come out...Sweat!SARS strikes in 2003, I was identified as suspected "suspected", although not a suspected cases of suspected "suspected cases", but I already very suspected "suspected cases", again a little bit of suspected, is really into suspected cases.I saw men said: I am sick, which know not only not afraid of others, he said: you are really sick, I wondered, not afraid dead of people these days more and more complex.

Junior high school graduation I stepped onto a "point of no return," said

a bit absurd, bought a pair of socks, only in Hong Kong under the wuhan Yangtze river bridge eating watermelon, eat ice cream in sun yat-sen university in guangzhou, in dongguan in the supermarket to buy a bottle of coke to see morning "the romance of The Three Kingdoms", his feet on the beach in zhangmutou buried into the pit, such as tide to pull up the ran...How I want to realize my little small wishes - in the sea side there was a nest, and small boats, filled with RMB, hk dollar, euro...... In September 2003, I was in JTG highest institution of higher learning "top JTG middle school is" reading, the opening ceremony on the principal plausibly said: the weather is good today sunny, white clouds float over the wanli blue sky...Dizzy ~ I suddenly very bosom read read as a child, and that pragmatically.I like the school literary club, and speech that day, I want to speech so much in my life, I can become an expert.I said, I am pretty good, but the rich five cars;Although unremarkable, but good-looking...I saw the head teacher and seven holes to keep blood, I conveniently say: well done, man bleeding, no tears!The teacher came close to die.High school day is very boring, in addition to boring bored in the class I touched the mirror to see my eyelash is getting too long."Week - wood, fly to answer the question," my in the mind

uncomfortable, why drag "week" how long, but I was reminded of an

idiom "weeks long", suddenly feel a lot of sense, as he tells.He asked me to answer the words, he said, "don't have quiet sorrow dark hate living" I don't answer, he asked: why did you answer not to come out?I said: because the "silent sound" at this time.He yu stuffy.I think the teachers here are violently strong, the math teacher holding a "PI" crazy back, English teacher holding the < < bullishness dictionary. 2007 revision > >, and the back Wen teacher holding the < < ancient Chinese dictionary > > frowsty back, to students as reference books, more like you have no charge, high school students the biggest pastime is likely to be eating and sleeping, some simply to save think it is too costly, and they long to hope a less-pressured, I think one day they really into "dragon" into "phoenix" is not scary?

In school next, long grass fly "fly", in addition to miss my princess, may be the biggest entertainment is the change in the class to see the teacher's point of view, I think Chinese teacher good humiliate, language, class I love to compete with him.I think of outing, grade 2, the teacher ask: how to determine the direction of the wind?Who is going to give you a demonstration?I rushed out without hesitation, picked up a stone and went to heaven behind "ah, the old teacher, 'lee on" I saw the

Next in 2005, we entered the "devil training camp" college entrance examination this time give me feelings of the biggest is that the students face, yellow on the first day, normal;The next day, the red - probably stayed up the night;Scary actually is green on the third day, I at first glance all over the classroom traffic lights, are sure to literally pull three son road station, a large number of cost saving to the traffic department. In 2006, this year, I was 19, I last year at the age of 18, I at the age of 17, with a year ago when I was 18 years ago eat milk, facing a major turning point in life, I feel a lot, for this, my sister did an interview to me: wood flying elder brother, the college entrance examination, the mood now?"I say:" nervous, like the girl first pregnancy."" then what are you going to do?"" gave birth to her child!"I said, my sister KuangPen blood! The college entrance examination examination, the doctor told me to take off pants, I red the face asked her if she want to do, she said a words, my face will down soon, she said: I smoke you give your mother... now I

my heart I turned out to be such a naughty man.

Mother said: every day to live very well, the day with bright smile.I think mom said the true good, not the kui is a wooden fly's mother, growth needs a little bit of rain, some some hone and some deep-rooted memory...