第七届全国创新英语作文大赛优胜作文选登

第七届全国创新英语作文大赛优胜作文选登

.cn 20xx年03月20日 12:46 新浪教育

第七届全国创新英语作文大赛优胜作文选登

第七届全国创新英语作文大赛优胜作文选登

第七届全国创新英语作文大赛优胜作文选登

新浪教育讯 日前第十届全国创新英语大赛工作已正式启动,以下为第七届全国创新英语作文大赛优胜作文选登:

复赛试题:

Directions:

With the development of computers, more and more people are working with computers. But, we know that computers are harmful as well as useful and helpful .Here, you are asked to write an essay on the topic “The Advantages and Disadvantages of Computers”. You can give some examples and facts to support your opinion. Your essay should be written in English with no less than 300 words within 60 minutes。 The Advantages and Disadvantages of Computers

李彦妮

辽宁市鞍山市第一中学10届14班

Nowadays, the idea of progress loorns so large in the modern world, and the progress of a particular kind is actually taking place around us. In this circumstances, computers which have a great help come out with the wisdom and hard-working of human beings. It do have given human a tremendous help, it, however, has brought to us its harmness at the some time。

The computers can make a great help for us in this high speed society. In the light of this statement, it is computers that can store documents for us which is essential for us, it is computers that can shorten the time in seeking useful information instead of looking for knowledge from a large sums of books and it is computers that can make it possible to comunicate with different people who are far away from you. In a word, we can't live nomally without computers in such a high-tech society。

On the contary, having helped us a lot, computers are harmful to people at the same time, especially the adolescents. First of all, sitting in front of the computer may do harm to our eyes. On the other hand, computers not only bring us useful information but also entertainments. Being weak in controlling themselves, those poor adolescents are more easier to get crazy about the fantasy world. Seeing a vivid picture which is about a son who gets stuck in computers and phones to his parents

downstairs to bring dinner for him. I realized deeply that the computers really have their disadvantages。

According to the statements above, it can not be superficial to simply say that computers are good or bad for us as every coin has both sides. Personally, I still consider that a computer can bring us convinience and high speed which is extolled to all the people even though it is a two-edged weapon. We can learn well punctuated by those purchasable wells of wisdom - computers。

专家建议:

本文个别语言使用不够地道并且偶尔出现句子表意不明的情况,因此建议该考生在平时的学习中尽量多阅读原汁原味的英语文章,有意识地积累地道的英语表达,不断提高语言运用能力。

专家点评:

本篇文章段落结构基本清晰,第一段交代文章主题,第二段主要说明计算机的优势,第三段罗列计算机给人们带来的害处,最后一段是对文章的总结和作者个人看法,整篇文章思路比较清晰。文章用词较为准确,也出现了不少词组及句型,语法多样性也有所体现。能看出这绝对是高中生中佼佼者完成的文章。不足之处在于有个别语言点不够地道,希望以后能进一步雕琢语言,使写作水平进一步提升。

What Computers Bring to Us

李潇然

辽宁省大连市辽师大附中高三2班

With the advent of computers, the worid is changing rapidly and profoundly. The influence they bring to us is obvious and far-reaehing. Hence, people voice growing concern over what computers buing to us。

The vital flavour that computers alo the soicety can't be ignored. In the finst place, for students, they're beneficial to our studying. By surfing or the Internet, we can gain some knowledge which can't be grasped from textbooks. In the second place, as an approach of meelia, they play a noticeable role in spreading the cultoral information. In the third place, they can simplify pleaty of work, which intensifies the capacity in the work of scientific development. Last but by no means least, computers, in my view, boost the prosperity of global economy. As is known to au, they convert the world into a village. It's just this cause that promotes the economical improvement。

Nevertheless, every coin has its two sieles. In spite of the convinience, we should also fastea our attention upon the drawbacks. For one thing, some people are addicteel to the not real world they create. They lose therselves in it and for sure, they lose their dreams and amlitions. But the worid is just liks enchenting bubble, it's so fragile that can't stand a gentle touch. For auother, someone makes utmost of the significant influence they bring to pose a threat to the indisidual, the soicety and even the nation. What's worse, someone called locher by producing vims destys millions of computert ever。

Weighing pros and cons, from my perspective, we can safely come to the condusion that computers contribute much to our human being to some extent, however, we ought to be confronted with the chanllenges of the moral behavions they lead to. In my eyes, only by realizing the stuff of them can we elevate the protential valus of them and create a shining tomorrow for ouselues。

专家建议:

建议改考生平时多练习写作,在写作过程中要求自己保持思路清晰,头脑清醒,做到每写一句话都是为文章中心服务的。另外建议平时多阅读权威英语文章,阅读的同时去体会什么叫做言之有物,什么叫做逻辑严谨;当然,还要有意识地积累地道准确的英文表达。 专家点评:

本文结构清晰明了,严格按照议论文“引言-主体-结尾”的结构完成,词汇运用较为高级,句型句式较丰富,语法应用较准确。不足之处在于文章段落内部逻辑关系混乱,有些语句表意不明,一些例证和观点是与本文主题完全无关的内容,更有个别语句是毫无存在意义的空洞内容,望日后写作时杜绝此现象的发生。

Vitamin Not Poison

郭聪

吉林省吉林市江城中学高三四班

With the high development of science and techonology, computers have stepped into common people's daliy life. Computers are like vitamin and bring us lots of nutritions, however, if we don't use them in a right way, they can be poisonous and have bad effects on us。

There is no doubt that computers are changing our life more or less from young to old, from person to the whole society. To our students, computers can bring us a large number of knowledge with its various news and readings, which may broaden our eyes, full our minds and keep up with all the fashions. It's also convinent for

teachers and schools on education. Teachers can exchange their teaching experience through the internet and electronic technoloy teaching can be more lively and esily draw students' attention, no doubt, the qulity of teoching will be improved. What's more, many middle aged people may play games, listen some light music to relife their pressure, while the olds can also enjoy themselves by computers. In addition, companyies use computers to do bussiness, which will be more convienent, of couse can make more profits。

However, as the old going says “Every coin has two sides”. if we can't use computers in a proper way, it's also harmful. In modem life, many students even college students are so addicated to computers that they give up studying half-way; at the same time the crimeinal rent of computers is growing up these years. As a consequence, many students have mentle illness and all the above will have bad effects on the tohole society。

In my opinion, computers are good tools for us just like vitamin, if we do not want them to be poison, the only thing we should do is to control ourselves and use them in a reasonable and proper way and partents should show respect for computers and company with their child in case of some unheathly effects。

Taking all these factors into consideration, computers are vitamin not poison. Computers bring us knowledge and joyand Since reforming is boorning in China, computers are becoming more and more important. Without computers, forgien guests can not know more about China; without computers commnication is still be a serious problem; without computers the Olympic won't be such a success. If we use computers in a proper way, we will find it like vitamin not poison, only in this way can we arm our-selves with knowledye, keep up the high pace of modern life and really make a difference。

专家建议:

建议该考生针对自己的写作语言还有必要再雕琢的情况,平时在学习中学课本或是阅读课外权威英语材料时,有意识地积累文章中的英语表达,以便以后在写作过程中使用。另外,文章中偶尔出现逻辑错误,这就要求考生平时有意识地多阅读英文议论文章,并且观察与模仿文章中严谨的逻辑关系,提升自己的逻辑思考能力。

专家点评:

该篇文章段落间结构基本清晰,内容丰满充沛。特别之处在于把计算机比作维生素来说明一件东西如果我们利用得当那么它就是宝贝;如果利用不得当,那它就是“毒药“。文章语言运用绝对超出了现阶段高中生的平均水平,词汇运用较为准确和高级,语法及句型运用也较为丰富和多变。但是,文章中充斥着大量与主题无关的语句,使文章显得冗长厚重。把

电脑比作维生素从某些角度来写也是不严谨的,再有,文章中的一些语句存在逻辑错误,还有空间再进行雕琢,可使文章语言更地道更严谨。

The Advantages and Disadvantages of Computers

宫琦

陕西省太原市太原外国语中学高二602班

In contemporary society, computer is playing an increasingly essential role in our daily lives. But in the meantime, whether computer is a blessing or curse has sparked spirited debate. Some people assert that computer has fundamentally

beneficial influence on our society while many others argue that it has detrimental effect as well. As far as I concerned, I am in favor of the former view。

Convincing arguments can be made that with computers, our lives may become rather colorful. To start with, computers can help the technology developing faster and faster; therefore, most individuals can enjoy efficient lives and numerous companies can combat more issues with the hele of computers. More over, we can buy what we like via Internet, this usually seems less time-consuming and more economical. Specifically, to illustrate, we can buy a great number of things on Taobao Ebay and Paipai, and the price is not very expensive. Lastly, many youngsters like to play a variety of computer games, the beautiful scenes and complete legends often draw a magnet on us that is to say, we can relax our bodies and amuse our minds in this way。

Admittedly, computer really does harm to ourselves in some occasions. The reason for this is that many websites on the Internet spread violence and sex informations, which can exert a bad influence on adolescents to learn and try. Meanwhile there are many hackers steal our Internet bank account and our personal informations through computer viruses. Obviously, the things I described above can lead to social crimes. Even so, we can set up net forces to curb the proliferation of the trend of Internet crimes, and the advantages which computer proride us with proved undeniable in many individuals' eyes。

Having considered all the arguments above, I would concede that computers may cause many problems to our society. Despite that, computers can truly bring

comfortable and convinient tempo of living to us. Overall, I am convinced that the advantages of computers far outweigh the disvantages, and we should use computers in right way to contribute to societal well-being。

专家建议:

建议该生扩大英文阅读量,阅读不仅可以帮助考生积累更为地道准确的语言表达方式,更能让该生借鉴文章段落结构的设置以及段落内部句子的逻辑严谨的逻辑关系。关于阅读材料,可以选择课外权威英文议论文读物,如英文报纸,期刊等。这些材料中的文章语言准确地道,结构清晰工整,逻辑正确严谨,时刻散发着英文理性的魅力,可以对议论文写作提高有所帮助。

专家点评:

本篇文章结构清晰,严格按照“总起—优势—劣势—总结”的段落分布。语句基本连贯通顺,词汇运用较为丰富,语法的多样性也有所体现。本文作者的写作水平绝对超出了现阶段高中生英语写作能力的平均水平。但是,本文中出现个别逻辑错误,段落内部句子与句子间的逻辑关系不够紧凑,个别段落间的过度有些生硬,望日后写作时留意。

The Advantages and Disadvantages of Computers

高岚

河北省保定市保定一中323班

Touching the keyboard and clicking the mouse is whether good or bad for people, it may difficult to tell. As the saying goes: Every coin has its two sides. Computers are harmful as well as useful and helpful. It is important to know the advantages and disadvantages of computers dearly. So that we may make full use of the computers。 The advantage of computer is easy to see. It is no doubt that we live in a “computer age” Computers has changed our life into a more convenient and colourful one. No matter old or young, men or women, we are all absorbed by the greatest invention of the 20th century. By using computers and the Internet, so many things that once seems impossible have become possible in our life. We can use computers to help us work out difficult problems, we can use computers to get imformation and make friends, we can shop online and have lessons online. Thousands of people have benefieed from the computers. And with the development of computers, there are new kinds of jobs sened to the young generation. For me, my ambition is to be a computer engineer. I can use computer language to communicate with computers. And it's a wonderful expreince to make the cold machine think and work for you. And I also improne my ability at the same time。

On the other heind, it isn't wise to avoid talking about the disadvantages of the computers. Firstly, it danage our eyesight. It is obvious that more and more people are wearing glasses these days, I am one of them as well. And computers can also couse other diseases to the people who have to face the computer all day long and the growihg teenagers. Second, it make more difficult to protect your personal

imformation with the development of the Internt. It gives more chances to the people who want to get other's imformation to do some bad things. But, the most popular problem is still about the computer games lead the teenagers to a wrong way。 All in all, computers are such a tool which brhgs a loe of good and cause a lot of problems. But the wise one com make the best use of it。

专家建议:

建议该生扩大英文阅读量,因为阅读是写作的基础,不仅可以帮助考生积累更为地道准确的表达方式,更能让该生借鉴文章段落内部句子的逻辑严谨性。关于阅读材料,可以选择课外权威英文议论文读物,如英文报纸,期刊等。这些材料中的文章语言准确地道,结构清晰工整,逻辑正确严谨,时刻散发着英文理性的魅力,可以对议论文写作提高有所帮助。 专家点评:

本篇文章结构清晰,严格按照“总起—优势—劣势—总结”的段落分布。语句基本连贯通顺,词汇运用较为丰富,语法的多样性也有所体现。作为一个高中学生,能具有这样的英语写作水平实属不易。但是,本文中几次出现逻辑错误,虽然段落分布从整体来看是清晰工整的,可段落内部句子与句子间的逻辑关系实在有待调整,更有个别句子是与文章主题无关的语句,望日后写作时留意。

What Computers Bring to Us

刁玥

山东省泰安市泰山中学高二3班

With time going by, the computer is playing a more and more important role in our daily life. It in reality helps people a lot in every aspects of our life. However, it brings some negative points at the same time. Here are my point of views about the advantages and disadvantages of computers。

We can't live without computers. Firstly, it can offer us an enormous quantity of information. As is known to all, we have stepped into a period filled with information. The Internet has the ability of gathering the information. Two heads are better than one, and what about many thousands? The answer is obviously. Secondly, computers make our life colourful. We can use computers to play games, communicate with others, listen to the music, watch a latest film and so on. People are easy to get relaxed on the Internet. Thirdly, computers help us to do things easier. For example, I like shopping very much. I am able to go shopping by knocking at the mouse instead of going outdoors. It in deed saves a lot of time, doesn't it? What's more, we can also book a train tickets, work and so on by using computers。

Every coin has two sides. Computers also bring some disadvantages. Firstly, young people are so easily addicted to the Internet. They always play computer games online day and night and throw their study away. Not until their marks get down did they realize that they has addicted to it. And at that time, it's difficult for them to get changed. Secondly, the Internet is a imaginary world. Everyone can hide himself in it. So people are easy to get cheated. I was cheated buying a digital camera at one time. Thirdly, it is the computer that make most of the students have a poor eyesight. Few people limited themselves on the Internet. In reality computers are haimful to our health。

Achievements is founded on deligence and wasted upon recklessness. If we use cornputers in the right way instead of just wasting time on it, computers are really called the most useful helpers。

专家建议:

作者基本掌握了议论文的写作要领,只在文章个别之处存在一些诸如语言缺乏客观性的问题,另外就是有的表达不够地道和准确。因此建议该考生在平时的学习中尽量多阅读原汁原味的英语文章,有意识地积累地道的英语表达,不断提高语言运用能力。

专家点评:

本篇文章段落结构清晰明了,第一段作为引言段引出文章主体段落,第二段主要罗列计算机的益处,第三段主要列举计算机给人们带来的害处,最后一段是对文章的总结和作者个人看法。整篇文章思路清晰,段落主题突出。文章词汇运用较为高级与丰富,语法多样性也有所体现。不足之处在于有个别语言点不够地道,另外有个别逻辑错误。

The Advantages and Disadvantages of Computers

褚婧雅

湖南省长沙市天心区长郡中学高二0612班

Nobody denies that we can live a colourful life with computers. No matter who we are, no matter what kind of job we do, we all need a computer to surf the Internet or spend on playing computers for recreations. However, computers bring us both advantages and disadvantages。

Computers provide us with various of imformation. We can get a knowledge of news, advertisements and even great events about the whole world. During the 2008 Olympic games, people can learn a lot about the competitions, sports games, reports or the results of the Olympic Games. Computers really supply us with vivid images about the society。

In addition, computers make we study more effectivly. It is undoubtedly that lots of students are able to get large amounts of e-books from computers. For example, we always use computers as tools to learn English or other popular languages. Stressed out as we are, we listen to the computers and speak aloud by following it. Moreover, adults also get a lot from computers when they want to study or in need of piles of files about their work。

Generally speaking, with the Internet, we find it easier to share achievements, happiness and sorrows with friends in the world through communications on computers. Not only can we talk about funny things, but also we can know more about the different cultures from different backgrounds. A majority of people are engaged in commucating with friends through QQ or MSN. It is yeally an attractive and happy thing to enjoy in our spare time. Achievements, happiness and sorrows in daily life are all got across to each sides of the “bridge”, and we can eventually satisfy our inner desire and become more energetic。

As a matter of fact, I'm afraid, some teens are hooked on playing computer games. It possiblly makes them go astray. These students have been addicted to computers and only few of them can be saved from this awful troubles. How dissapointed their parerts are! What can hopefully relief them? As for this situation, in fact, computers paly a cruel killer that avoid students from studying and even ruin their bright future。

In conclusion, without computers, there is little chance to change our life and we may not live a life so efficiently. But if some people who not take care of computers, they will loose their beautiful tomorrow. So please regard computers as coins with two sides。

专家建议:

建议该考生针对自己的写作语言还有必要再雕琢的情况,平时在学习中学课本或是阅读课外权威英语材料时,有意识地积累文章中的英语表达,以便以后在写作过程中使用。另外,文章中偶尔出现逻辑错误,这就要求考生平时有意识地多阅读英文议论文章,并且观察与模仿文章中严谨精确的逻辑关系,提升自己的逻辑思考能力。

专家点评:

该篇文章分为多个段落,段落间结构基本清晰,内容丰满充沛。文章语言运用绝对超出了现阶段高中生的平均水平,词汇运用较为准确和高级,语法及句型运用也较为丰富和多变,是一篇不可多得的中学生英语文章。但文章中的个别语句还有空间再进行雕琢,可使文章语言更地道更严谨。

The advantages and disadvantages of Computers

陈瑶

江苏省泰州市泰州中学高二5班

In this imformation age, computers are necessary in our daily life. However, according to personal experience and personality type, some people hold the view that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages while others think the disadvantages corry more weight than the advantages. From my point of view, the computers are harmful as well as useful and helful and we should take advantage of the computers properly and avoid the disadvantages of the computers。

Among countless disadvantages of the computers, there've three compiuous ones. It's convenient for us to search for information on the Internet. The Internet is just like a library that folled with many books. Whenever you have questoons and problems, you can find the answers you want with the computer. Also, communicating with others on the Internet is very convenient and cheap. For instance, if you talk to others with telephones, especially for long-distance phone, you will pay much money for it, Nevertheless, if you use the Internet to communicate with others, you just need to spend little money. Lastly, it's very useful for us students to study with the computers. Take me for an example, I took many exercises that can improve my lestening with the computer in the pase. I also gain a lot of information which is benefinial to my study on the Internet。

In contrast, the computers also has many disadvantages. First, many Students are dedicated in playing computer games, as a result, their grades become very low after playing them. Take my classmate for an example, previous to playing computer games, his marks were very high in the examinations, However, after he lost himself in computer garnes, his marks fell down sharply. Furthermore, the Internet will spread some bad things, such as voilence and bule films。

Every coin has both sides, and the computer is no exception. It's wise for us to reduce the dosadvantages of the computer, and make the computer play its great role. We must keep a clear mind and de what is useful to improve ourselves with the computer。

专家建议:

建议该生平时在阅读英文读物时,有意识地积累地道的英文表达,相信坚持一段时间,英文写作水平就会有进一步提高。

专家点评:

本文结构清晰有序,段落设置合理得当,难得的是,文章每一段的第一句都是该段的主题句,对于一个中学生来说,能对写作英语议论文的规范有如此到位的落实,实在不常见。本文词汇运用较为高级,句型句式较为丰富,语法应用较为准确。不足之处在于有些英文表达还可以更地道一点~

The Advantages and Disadvantages of Computers

陈绿思

广东省汕头市金山中学高一9班

As wereliving in an unusual world with rapidly developing light-technology, there's no doubt that computer, as an indispensable instrument, has been a significant part of one's life。

In respect to the office and business, computers can never be over emphasized. It makes it much easier and more convenient to send messages accurately and make a deal. Computers also grace our daily life, from which we're capable to get the latest information, talk about the social controversial issues and even see doctors and book tickets on line. You may get everything you want, only clicking the mouse。 Take, for example, the story of an unknown girl who complaint a lot about the big earthquake that happened to Sichuan. All the people in sorrow who read the girls comments were very angry and it was the computer that helped the people collect all the imformation of the girl and assisted the police in catching her eventually. How ponerful the computers are!

There's a saying goes “Every coin has two side”. So is computer. Personal imformation is exposed to the public attention nowadays, and even one's privacy. It has been reported that some famous stars' daily life were seriously influenced as their phone numbers, house address were spread on line. We can't imagine how terrible it will be if the private imformation is made use of by those with bad intention. Besides, computers with narious functions may exert bad influence on adolescents. They, for instance, me likely to get addicted to playing electronic games that overshadow the other parts of their life, to ondulge themselves in unhealthy imformation that even lead them to criminals。

In my humble opinion, whether computer is harmful or useful to us lies in the approach we use it. Only when we use computers in appropriate ways to do right things can we benefit from this kind of high - technology。

专家建议:

建议该生平时多阅读英语议论文章,观察并模仿规范议论文的文章结构设计,尽量使自己以后的文章做到结构清晰明了。

专家点评:

本文词汇运用较为准确,高级;句型句式较为丰富;议论语言较有力度。但是,文章段落结构出现了较大的问题:引言段,文章主体以及为支持“计算机优势观点”所举的例子都以平行结构出现在了不同段落中,而文章关于“计算机劣势观点”所举的例子却和其相应的观点挤在一个段落中。所以容易给人杂乱无章的感觉。

Computers

常悦

辽宁省大连市育明高中高二12班

Computer is one of people's greatest inventions in the last centry. Meanwhile, it brings about as many problems as the convienience it offers. This essay will look at the advantages and disadvantages of computers。

To begin with, there are numerous reasons to say computers do good to our daily life. Firstly, computers make it possible for students to gain knowledge online with a simple click, instead of ckecking thousands of books. A veriaty kinds of

information on all subjects are stored in computers, available to everyone, Moreover, thanks to the computers, people can “talk” to others, who are millions of miles away, even overseas. Computers offer a great alternative of communication, which develops people's view and enables us to know different cultures. A third point is that computers make a great contribution to building up a globle village. By shopping online, one can buy Japanese sushi, HongKong clothings and Italian wine in America。 Nevertheless, despite the advantages of computer, there're many drawbacks of it. First of all, because of the attractive computer games, many adolescents give up studying. Computers have a damage effect on youngsters' health and accdamic education, what's more, they even cause juvenile crimes. A second point is that when people get too used to communicating on computers, they loose their ablity of talking face to face. A report has shown that over 69% of people choose to use e-mails or tax messages to communicate. Furthermore, computers, in some degree, make developing and developed countries more devided, because while some countries are wired to communicate, others remain isolated。

In summery, nothing has gained more praise and blame than computer. In my point of view, computer is just a tool. Its advantages and disadvantages mostly depends on how we use it. If we make a good use of it, it will be a great assistant of mankind。

专家建议:

作者基本掌握了议论文的写作要领,只在文章个别之处逻辑存在一些诸如思维跳跃度过大的问题,另外就是有的表达不够地道和准确。因此建议该考生在平时的学习中尽量多阅读原汁原味的英语文章,有意识地积累地道的英语表达,不断提高语言运用能力。 专家点评:

本篇文章段落结构清晰明了,第一段作为引言段交代文章主题并且引出文章主题段落,

第二段主要说明计算机的益处,第三段罗列计算机给人们带来的害处,最后一段是对文章的总结和作者个人看法。整篇文章思路清晰,段落主题突出。文章词汇运用较为高级与丰富,语法多样性也有所体现。不足之处在于有个别语言点不够地道,希望以后能进一步完善语言,使写作水平进一步提升。

The Advantages and Disadvantages of Computers。

曹欣平

安徽省黄山市屯溪一中高一2班

Currently, with the development of Internet, more and more people voico focus on the issue that whether it is right to have got a computer. As we all know, a coin has two sides, and a computer has both advantages and disadvatages. Sometimes, we insist that it is rather useful to get a computer, but on the other hand, we find it much more hamful. In a word, however, nothing goins more discussion than computers。

For one thing, we regard computer convenient, in that we can use a computer to draw pictures, write essays and sum up countless numbers. We work on computers and comminicate by Internet. Because of e-mails, on-line shopping and trimendous, number of imformations on Internot, we adnire the useful computer. What's more, computer and Internet can work in a fantastic speed, which makes our work swiftly. No one com deny that, human can live and work well without computers。

For omother, however, computers bring harmfulnesses to us as well. First, computer games are at large nowadays. Teenagers can be octlracted by them easily. They plays computers night and day, forgetting anything including study. They spend their valueable youngth hurting thies active bodies. Glasses on their faces show their weakness of sight. Meanwhile internet provides too many things and people cannot tell bad ones from right ones promptly sometimes. As a result, their spirit can be damaged. Nothing can be worse than this. The last but not the least, internet offers many ways to crime. Meanwhile, it is hard to find out. For instance, some bad sayings spread well on internet but the police can do nothing to stop them。

As for as I am concerned, I consider that the computer is rather useful. Whether you may be damaged by computers and internet depends on yourself to the core. You would not be hurt if your, eyes were bright enough to tell right from wrong. As for me, I use computers to write articles, watch movies and communicate with each other and I do not fancy any computer games. Besides, the Governmout should focus their attention to protecting teenagers from computer games. At last, I would say that despite the disadvantages still exist now, computers play a very significant part of role in modern life。

专家建议:

建议该生多读英语议论文章,揣摩正规议论文的段落内部的逻辑关系是怎样做到严谨合理的,培养对一件事发表议论的能力。另外,平时应该多练习写作议论文,并在写作过程中要求自己思路清晰,明确自己究竟要写什么,为什么要写这句话,句与句之间到底有没有关系,有什么关系。希望对作者有所帮助。

专家点评:

本文结构设置清晰明了,词汇及句型句式的运用较为高级和丰富,语法应用也比较准确和多样。不足之处在于本文段落内部逻辑的混乱,句与句之间的逻辑关系更是令读者一头雾水。值得一提的是,本文还多处出现了议论文章的大忌讳,那就是主观猜测出的毫无依据支持的信息以及缺乏客观性的极端信息,希望作者日后避免此类错误。

The Advantages and Disadvantages of Computers

安明玉

山东省泰安市第一中学9班

Gone are the days when people have to ride thousands of miles away to send letters to our friends and relatives. Nowadays, with the development of modernization, computers have been common in our daily life. With the computers, we can communicate with our friends who are even millions of miles away. And we can buy what we want without walking out of the door. What's more, computers also broaden our horizens as well as richen our knowledge. Through the Internet, we can know more about the world, such as how many gold medals Chinese athletes have got in the Olympic Games, what is the life like in the cities of Sichuan and when our “Shenzhou-Ⅶ” will come back to earth. It seems like that the whole world is no more than one metre away (from the screen of computers to our own eyes). Besides, many difficult works can be perfectly and quickly finished by computers. It's no doubt that computers are playing a such an important role in our life that we cannot live without them。

However, overy coin has two cides. In spite of these advantages, computers are sometimes harmful to us if they are not properly used. According to a recent research, an increasing number of students are cocooring self themseloes in computer games. As a result, their marks are becoming lower and lower. What's more, some illegal information, which will do great harm to the children who do not always have a correct judgement, is spreading quickly through the internet. Thus can also lead to an increasing percentage of crime。

In my opinion, only if the computer is correctly used by us can it be a true friend and teacher of us. I believe that our society will be more peaceful and developed with all our offort and all of the disadoantages can be avoid successfully。 专家建议:

建议作者平时多练习议论文写作,并且在练习中要时刻提醒自己议论文写作的规则是什么,那就是文中的每一句话都是围绕文章主题进行的,至少,段落内的每一句话都是围绕段落中心的。作者在这方面还有空间提高。

专家点评:

本文运用了较多的高级词汇和表达;论证语言比较有力,得体;语法的多样性也有所体现;并且在文章中不乏新颖独特的语言表达。但是本文结构设置差强人意,冗长的第一段既是文章的引言段又充当了文章用于说明计算机给我们的好处的主题段,所以看起来不够清晰,明了。结尾的部分无论从语言还是内容来看都有待修改,如果不是因为时间仓促,那么这个结尾的创作就实在不是很用心了。

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