Some people think that the purpose of education is to turn young people into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With proceeding wheels of modern society, education is becoming increasingly crucial to both society and individuals. However, in the meantime, some argue that good citizens and workers are cultivated from education and individuals cannot be the beneficiaries of education. Personally, I cannot go along with this view.（第一段总体来说写的还是不错的，现状+论题+观点，就是在表上论题的时候逻辑出现了错误，应该按照题目所给的观点然后重新改写就好。）

Granted, education brings numerous positive implications to society, which produces a wide array of inventions and innovations. It is a strong impetus to economical procession. However, individuals gain more through the process of education. （这一段应该是个让步段，主旨大意写的应该是“教育确实能给社会带来良好的的市民和优质的劳动力”。所以第一句话就应该

是主题句，点明教育对社会的作用——培养好的市民和劳动力。第二句话解释为什么你说教育能够有这些作用，比如说，用解释法展开，可以说通过接受教育，人们。。。所以都能成为。。。；用对比法展开，以前教育没有普及的时候，是。。。样的，现在教育普及了，大家在接受教育后都变得更加。。。样了。方法很多，你看自己喜欢哪一个呗。黄色字体的部分应该放在下一段的开头，所以你这个让步段可以写的更加充分一点，在最后一句可以写上，社会会更加进步之类的话作为一个小总结。那么这一段就会用一个非常明显的逻辑在：教育可以为社会培养人才和良好的市民---因为/对比从前。。。---所以教育对人的培养可以给社会带来进步）

However, individuals gain more through the process of education. First and foremost, for individuals, the potential benefits lies in general quality of life and in the economic returns of sustained, satisfying incomes. Assume that a person gets high qualification of education, in all likehood, he obtains a well-paid job, which can meet his material needs and can certainly lead to a better life.（这一段总体来说还是写的比上一段好，有中心

句+发展论证。论证的还算比较充分。就是还有一些小细节要注意。逻辑上一定要通顺，然后再来去想可以用什么更加高级的词替换。可以看得出你是背过一些词伙的，你现在最重要的是注意逻辑，把逻辑弄通顺了，再加上你的词伙，问题应该不大。）

Equally importantly, education helps people to acquire the ability of learning all their lives and this ability is quite conductive to individuals especially after they leave campus. As a consequence, individuals can learn whatever they need or are interested in whether they are old or young, whether there are teachers or not.

同样的方法，中心句+论证展开。不过这里的中心句不明显。这里整段要重新写，因为逻辑有很严重的错误，而且跑题了，说着说着说到别的东西了。这一段要说的是：教育可以使人们懂得终身学习这个概念的重要性，因为终身学习对人们来说非常重要，因为。。。（你认为终身学习重要的原因），所以，通过教育，人们懂得如何终身学习。。。这个才是你要论证的东西，而不是人们无论何时何地都可以学习

In the final analysis, while it stands to reason to state that society truly benefits from education, more focus should be given to individuals’ conductive role in education. Therefore, individuals are advisable at large.

（最后一段直接总结，给出你的观点+再重申你文章里三四段提到的原因与前文呼应一下总结一下+点点题/呼吁一下/阐释一下未来理想就好了。） 切记不要因为想要用哪个句式或者哪个词伙而写出一个句子或者调整语序，因为那样会打乱整个文章的逻辑和顺序，只有先把逻辑写通顺了，考官才看的懂，然后再去想应该选择哪个更好的表达法去替换。

 

第二篇：雅思雅思教父刘洪波：教育类雅思作文高分范文及点评

雅思教父刘洪波：教育类雅思作文高分范文及点评雅思教父刘洪波2010权威作品《最简化雅思写作》8月光芒上市从零开始，单词、词组、句式、思想完全应对官方四大评分标准最新研发最简化15句写作框架模板涵盖雅思题库各类型高分范文幽默通俗的语言手把手教出写作高分中国区前任雅思考官强力推荐Most countries spend lots of money on education as they start to recognize its importance. In your opinion which two following subjects are the most important for your people and which one is the least important?Subject: Literature SportsMathematics EconomyPhysics HistoryMusic Geography It has been said that investing in education is investing in one's future: this is true for both individuals and nations. It is always somewhat subjective to say which is more important, the humanities or sciences, as both have value. However, I would like to make a case for the importance of math and economics in this day and age.Let us begin with math. Mathematics is a foundation subject which bridges many different fields, from physics and chemistry to the Internet and modern medicine. All of our material advances in the 20th century could not have happened without advanced mathematics. To be sure, it will also play a critical role in meeting challenges like global warming and space travel, to name just a few, in the future.Likewise, economics is a fundamental discipline that allows societies to be stable and move forward. History is full of example of kingdoms and empires that collapsed as their economies declined. Most obviously, we need look no further than the current economic meltdown to see the importance of economics. The jobs and wellbeing of individuals and nations alike depend upon a deeper understanding of this field.While all subjects have their merit, perhaps Geography doesn't have the same importance it once did. After all, in our modern world we have 3-D maps online that allow us to see anywhere with the click of a mouse. But to reiterate, we need a balanced approach to education where we still produce artists and thinkers and historians and so on. To summarize, math and economics are critical subjects in the 21st century. Governments must do their part to make sure we invest in these key areas and have qualified teachers. By doing so, they will ensure our prosperity and progress.(294 words)Harvey点评：　　写作观点：数学、经济学重要，地理不重要。所以文章中间三段分别讨论三个学科。　　这篇文章题型少见，题目内容对中国考生来说比较另类。说明哪个学科的重要性不难，难的是说明一个学科为什么不重要，还注意到题目中有最高级词汇：the most important, the least important。　　我们受到的教育是行业没有三六九等，行行出状元。如果在小学课堂上讨

论此类题目，有小朋友胆敢说地理最不重要，老师一定会发飙："胡说，不要有偏见，各个学科都重要，人类都需要，缺一不可。"于是大家考试不能偏科，长大之后都没有了"偏见"。　　而这篇文章就是逼着你写出偏见，让你偏科，还很极端，因为题目中有最高级。　　所以我最欣赏的是在本文首段第二句话，在表达个人偏见前的让步：It is always somewhat subjective（主观的） to say which is more important, the humanities（人文学科） or sciences, as both have value. 这句话我相信也是大多数考生看完题目后的第一感觉，但表达不出来。先学习下面的词汇和短语，然后再重读范文，体会它们在文中的运用词汇subjective adj.主观的foundation n.基础bridge vt.架桥，连接critical adj.关键的，重要的meltdown n.彻底垮台wellbeing adj. 福利，康乐，安宁reiterate vt.反复地说，重申短语invest in投资于make a case for 提出充分的理由 in this day and age 当今play a critical role in 起到关键作用meet challenge 应对挑战to name just a few 等等 = and so ondepend upon依赖，依靠allow sb. to do sth. 使某人能做某事with the click of a mouse 只需鼠标一点do one's part to尽自己的职责key areas 重要领域三分钟熟读或背诵本文最实用的三个句子* It is always somewhat subjective to say which is more important, the humanities or sciences, as both have value.* Mathematics is a foundation subject which bridges many different fields, from physics and chemistry to the Internet and modern medicine. * All of our material advances in the 20th century could not have happened without advanced mathematics.