2012考研包过班 作文批改

这是我的一个学员的写的作文，发给大家，供大家学习参考

What these two drawings above illustrate is a little flower,under the protection of the greenhouse,is in full bloom / Flourishing no matter how terrible the weather would be like, Of course, the opposite side of this phenomenon also exists.the beautiful flower is no longer growing in favorable condition.In no time will the flower die,if it can not adapt to the new circumstance.

Obviously, the cartoons intend to reveal the phenomenon-the youth lack of independence-which widely exists in our society.It is not uncommon that we graduates,when leave campus for position,have a sense of unfamiliarity and dissatisfactory,moreover escape from the cut-throat competition of job market or low-income, high strength work.Currently, young adults of our generation who are brought up without sadness and sorrow.Parents,all the time,drive their best efforts to meet the unreasonable requirement made by their only child.When we enter into school with the guidance of our teachers,we seldom independently copy with difficulties we have ever confronted.

Therefore, When it comes to what impacts it would bring, in my 1

eyes,,it is high time that youngsters come to realize their own shortcomings before they completely prepares to hunt for work.In addition,our society and school should provide support and advice for them so that these green hands can adjust themselves to the multivariant environment in the coming future/ in the near future/

in the not far distant future 。（不远的将来）

1、 一定要多变化，比如通篇不要全部用the youth，替换词很多，

比如the young people ; youngsters ; the youth ; young

adults

2、 在一些名词或者动词前面可以扩展下，加上形容词或者副词，

第一能增加字数，第二能使得句子更加形象生动，比如你文中

的meet the requirement，可以改成meet the unreasonable

requirement

3、 to seek for a job，这里“找工作”的表达很多，比如apply for

a job，hunt for work 。而“求职者”地道的表达多用 job

hunter ，job seeker等。再发散下，解聘怎么表达？？dismiss

an employee。“雇主“employer，”被雇佣者“背单词一定要

注意发散，联想。

4、 ,it is high time that 。。。。。，这个句型大家也可以用用，但是

注意后面要跟 动词原形do

5、 in the coming future/ in the near future/

in the not far distant future 。（不远的将来）这个用法务必掌握！！一般用在作文的结尾句最后。

6 drawings、cartoons、pictures、 注意几个替换

2

7 When it comes to what impacts it would bring, in my eyes, it is high time that。。。、注意这个句型，非常地道！

8 drive their best efforts to do / try one's utmost to do/ do one's best endeavors 尽最大努力做某事

9 In addition,或者用additionally

3

 

第二篇：20xx考研钻石班-某同学的作文批改

2012考研钻石包过班 作文批改 这是我的一个学员的写的作文，发给大家，供大家学习参考。我的qq 377960180 注明 考研钻石班

What these two drawings above illustrate is a little flower,under the protection of the greenhouse,is in full bloom / Flourishing no matter how terrible the weather would be like, Of course, the opposite side of this phenomenon also exists.the beautiful flower is no longer growing in favorable condition.In no time will the flower die,if it can not adapt to the new circumstance.

Obviously, the cartoons intend to reveal the phenomenon-the youth lack of independence-which widely exists in our society.It is not uncommon that we graduates,when leave campus for position,have a sense of unfamiliarity and dissatisfactory,moreover escape from the cut-throat competition of job market or low-income, high strength work.Currently, young adults of our generation who are brought up without sadness and sorrow.Parents,all the time,drive their best efforts to meet the unreasonable requirement made by their only child.When we enter into school with the guidance of our teachers,we seldom independently copy with difficulties we have ever confronted.

Therefore, When it comes to what impacts it would bring, in my eyes,,it is high time that youngsters come to realize their own shortcomings before they completely prepares to hunt for work.In addition,our society and school should provide support and advice for them so that these green hands can adjust themselves to the multivariant environment in the coming future/ in the near future/

in the not far distant future 。（不远的将来）

1、 一定要多变化，比如通篇不要全部用the youth，替换词很多，

比如the young people ; youngsters ; the youth ; young

adults

2、 在一些名词或者动词前面可以扩展下，加上形容词或者副词，

第一能增加字数，第二能使得句子更加形象生动，比如你文中

的meet the requirement，可以改成meet the unreasonable

requirement

3、 to seek for a job，这里“找工作”的表达很多，比如apply for

a job，hunt for work 。而“求职者”地道的表达多用 job

hunter ，job seeker等。再发散下，解聘怎么表达？？dismiss

an employee。“雇主“employer，”被雇佣者“背单词一定要

注意发散，联想。

4、 ,it is high time that 。。。。。，这个句型大家也可以用用，但是

注意后面要跟 动词原形do

5、 in the coming future/ in the near future/

in the not far distant future 。（不远的将来）这个用法务必掌握！！一般用在作文的结尾句最后。

6 drawings、cartoons、pictures、 注意几个替换

7 When it comes to what impacts it would bring, in my eyes, it is high time that。。。、注意这个句型，非常地道！

8 drive their best efforts to do / try one's utmost to do/ do one's best endeavors 尽最大努力做某事

9 In addition,或者用additionally

附 2012考研钻石班介绍

辅导内容：

辅导老师介绍 辅导老师为在读博士！当年07年考研398分！英语90分政治85

分！数学120！硕博连读！新学期开学后

博2！

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qq 377960180 注明 考研钻石班