THE BIG BANG THEORY S02E07
—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— -Sheldon:
-Leonard:
-Howard:
-Penny:
-Raj:
1
00:00:08,700 --> 00:00:09,830
时间到
Time!
2
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好的 克林贡迷们 放下铅笔
All right, Klingons, pencils down.
3
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好的 我这有 "pokh"[星际迷航里的克林贡语]
Okay, I have "pokh."
4
00:00:16,030 --> 00:00:17,630
有了 有了
Have it. Got it.
5
00:00:17,700 --> 00:00:18,630
"Potl"
"Potl."
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有了 有了
Yup. Have it. Have it.
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"Pukhpa"
"Pukhpa."
8
00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:22,230
有了 有了
Have it. Got it. Yup.
9
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我有"chorrr"
I have "chorrr."
- 1 -
10
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有了
Got it. Yup.
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-"Nekhmakh" -有了
-"Nekhmakh." -Yeah. Yeah.
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和"kreplach"
And "kreplach."
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等等 "Kreplach"吗
Hold on a second. "Kreplach?"
14
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对
Yeah.
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那不是克林贡语 那是依地语 意思是肉馅饺子 That isn't Klingon; it's Yiddish for meat-filled dumpling.
16
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看来它也是克林贡语中的词语
Well, as it turns out, it's also a Klingon word.
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真的吗 给它下个定义
Really? Define it.
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"Kreplach": 美味的克林贡饺子
"Kreplach": A hearty Klingon... dumpling.
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裁判怎么裁决
Judge's ruling?
- 2 -
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不予采纳
Bilurrrbe.
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大伙 我要看一下你们的电视
Hey, guys, I need to use your TV.
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你的怎么了
What's wrong with your TV?
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我也不知道 刚刚没影了
I don't know. It just died.
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里面全是雪花
I'm getting a bunch of static.
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你付你的有线电视费了吗
Did you pay your cable bill?
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你这口气跟有线电视公司一样
Ugh, you sound just like the cable company.
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好吧 大家安静
All right, so, shh!
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泰拉·班克斯(超模之母)马上要从 全美超模大赛 里踢人了
Tyra Banks is about to kick someone off America's Next Top Model.
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抱歉 佩妮 但我们要
Excuse me, Penny, but we're...
- 3 -
30
00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:03,460 别 别 别告诉她
No, no, don't tell her.
31
00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:04,530 正在玩克林贡语拼字游戏
playing Klingon Boggle.
32
00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,260 哦
Aw...
33
00:01:06,330 --> 00:01:07,630 你"哦"什么
What do you mean, "Aw"?
34
00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:10,760 难道她不知道我们是书呆子吗 Like she didn't know we were nerds?
35
00:01:10,830 --> 00:01:12,030 好吧 如果你一定要看的话 All right, if you must watch,
36
00:01:12,100 --> 00:01:13,560 那就请你静音 只看字幕
then mute it with closed captions, please.
37
00:01:13,630 --> 00:01:14,900 随你
Fine.
38
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:22,960 好了 拼字斗士们 开始吧
All right, Boggle warriors... kapla'!
39
00:01:29,300 --> 00:01:32,300 看看这些姑娘
Look at those women.
- 4 -
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真是光彩照人啊
They're gorgeous.
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"Worf" 不错 名词 当专有名词就太可惜了 Oh! "Worf," nice! Too bad that's a proper noun.
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看那位 她就是未来的沃罗威茨夫人
Oh, look, the's the future Mrs. Wolowitz.
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不对 等等 那位才是
No, wait, that's the future Mrs. Wolowitz.
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头上戴着
With her head in the lap of...
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真是太巧了 她才是未来的沃罗威茨夫人
Oh, what a coincidence. It's the future Mrs. Wolowitz.
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对 她们都可以搬去同你和你妈妈一起住
Yeah, and they can all move in with you and your mother.
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现任的沃罗威茨夫人
The current Mrs. Wolowitz.
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"qochbe'"是用嘴发音 还是用喉咙发音
Is "qochbe'" spelled with a (gargling) or a (guttural grunt)?
49
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为什么沃罗威茨夫人在哭呢
Why is that Mrs. Wolowitz crying?
- 5 -
50
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那是阿娜伊斯
That's Anais.
51
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房子里其她女孩都不喜欢她
None of the other girls in the house like her.
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房子 什么房子
House? What house?
53
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她们都居住在同一所房子里
They all live in a house together.
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房子在哪
A house, where?
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我不知道 洛杉矶的某个地方吧
I don't know. Somewhere in L.A.
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等一下
Wait a minute.
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你是说我只需开车就能到
You're telling me that I'm within driving distance
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这些胸怀大志的超模们的住所吗
of a house filled with aspiring supermodels?
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对 我想是的
Yeah, I guess.
- 6 -
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她们住在一起 一同沐浴 还
And they live together and shower together and...
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裸体枕头大战
have naked pillow fights?
62
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你要去哪
Hey, wh-where are you going?
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去付我的有线电视费
To pay my cable bill.
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00:02:47,530 --> 00:02:50,760
好的 放下铅笔
All right, pencils down!
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00:02:50,830 --> 00:02:54,970
我这有"lokh" "makh"和"cherrrkh"
I have "lokh," "makh," and "cherrrkh."
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你们有吗
Anybody got those?
67
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我错过什么了吗 她们把吉塞尔踢出去了吗
Did I miss anything? Did they kick Giselle off?
68
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还没 不过她在水下拍的照片 真是丢死人了
Not yet, but her underwater photo shoot was an embarrassment.
69
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很不幸 吉塞尔·沃罗威茨夫人对氯过敏
Sadly, Mrs. Giselle Wolowitz is sensitive to chlorine.
- 7 -
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对她来说是好事 我喜欢出水芙蓉的大眼模特
Lucky for her I like my fashion models pruny and bug-eyed.
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谢尔顿 食物买来了
Sheldon, the food's here.
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到屋子了
Ooh, there's the house.
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定格 快定格
Freeze frame, freeze frame.
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你们在干什么
What are you doing?
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标记星辰位置和地理特征
Marking the star positions and physical landmarks
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那样我们就能找到超模的屋子啦
so we can find the house of the supermodels.
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为什么
Why?
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这不是明摆着吗
Isn't it obvious?
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她们每周都会踢出一个漂亮的女孩
Every week, they kick out a beautiful girl,
- 8 -
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让她自尊受损 感觉在这里不受欢迎
making her feel unwanted and without self-esteem.
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也可以叫未来的霍华德·沃罗威茨夫人
A.k.a. the future Mrs. Howard Wolowitz.
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-我的中号汉堡好了吗 -好了
-Is my hamburger medium well? -Yes.
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-片状莳萝 不甜的吗 -对
-Dill slices, not sweet? -Yes.
84
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-调味品是单独包装吗 -对
-Individual relish packets? -Yes.
85
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-有洋葱圈吗 -有
-Onion rings? -Yes.
86
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-还有额外的面包吗 -我问了
-Extra breading? -I asked.
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-他们怎么说 -没有 -你抗议了吗
-What did they say? -No. -Did you protest?
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-是的 -吵架了吗 -没
-Yes. -Vociferously? -No.
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那你怎么现在才来
Well, then what took you so long?
- 9 -
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你就吃吧
Just eat.
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大伙 我错过什么了吗
Hey, guys, what'd I miss? What'd I miss?
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吉塞尔现在命悬一线
Giselle's hanging by a thread.
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太好了 我讨厌她
Oh, good, I hate her.
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那我们大喜之日就不邀请你了
Then you're not invited to our wedding.
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给你
Here you go.
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00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:46,060
谢谢
Thank you.
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咱们还要看
Oh, do we have to suffer through this
98
00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:50,330
这个暗箱操作严重的伪真人秀节目吗
transparently manipulative pseudo-reality again?
99
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:51,560
对
Yes.
- 10 -
100
00:04:51,630 --> 00:04:53,830
咱俩有固定的电视节目表
You and I have a standing TV schedule,
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那是我们多次争论和妥协的结果
which is the result of extensive debate and compromise.
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除非是插播新闻 否则任何变更
Any alterations except for breaking news
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都要在一周室友大会上提前获得批准
have to be pre-approved at the weekly roommate meeting.
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00:05:01,330 --> 00:05:03,700
写在议程里吧
Put it on the agenda.
105
00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:05,460
但你必须先提案 才能写到议程里
But you have to make a motion to put it on agenda.
106
00:05:05,530 --> 00:05:08,300
我可以提案呀 但你不会喜欢的
Oh, I'll make a motion, but you're not going to like it.
107
00:05:10,330 --> 00:05:13,260
好吧 你就嘲笑议会程序吧
Fine. Mock Parliamentary procedure.
108
00:05:13,330 --> 00:05:14,360
至少能把声音关掉吧
At least put it on mute.
109
00:05:14,430 --> 00:05:17,600
吉赛尔根本不会被踢掉
Oh, Giselle's not getting kicked off.
- 11 -
110
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穿得是越来越清凉了啊
It's totally going to be Summer.
111
00:05:20,830 --> 00:05:22,860
咋啦
What?
112
00:05:22,930 --> 00:05:24,830
谢尔顿的洋葱圈 快放回去
Sheldon's onion ring. Just put it back!
113
00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:26,530
不过是个洋葱圈嘛
It's one onion ring.
114
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:27,800
在他发现前赶快放回去
Just put it back before he comes!
115
00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:29,330
错错错
No, no, no!
116
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,100
我觉得原来不是放在那的
No, I don't think that's where it was.
117
00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:32,160
他来了 大家不要承认啊
Okay, here he comes. Deny, deny, people.
118
00:05:32,230 --> 00:05:33,260
都别吭气
Wall of silence.
119
00:05:37,930 --> 00:05:39,630
谁动了我的
Who touched my...
- 12 -
120
00:05:39,700 --> 00:05:42,000
佩妮 佩妮干的
Penny! Penny did it.
121
00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:45,460
你为什么要这么对我
Why would you do that?
122
00:05:45,530 --> 00:05:46,530
不知道 我饿了
I don't know. I was hungry?
123
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:47,900
有什么大不了的
What's the big deal?
124
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:51,460
没有人可以动我盘子里的食物
The big deal is that nobody touches food on my plate.
125
00:05:51,530 --> 00:05:53,330
好吧 我不知道 对不起了
All right. Look, I didn't know, I'm sorry.
126
00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:56,830
我也对不起了 但你二振了
Well, I'm sorry, but that is your second strike.
127
00:05:59,260 --> 00:06:00,500
什么
What?
128
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:01,930
你有两振了
You have two strikes.
129
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,730
三振出局
Three strikes and you're out.
- 13 -
130
00:06:05,730 --> 00:06:08,460
这是个体育方面的暗喻
It's a sports metaphor.
131
00:06:08,530 --> 00:06:10,330
体育方面的暗喻
A sports metaphor?
132
00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:11,230
是的 棒球
Yes, baseball.
133
00:06:13,860 --> 00:06:16,160
好吧 我加入
All right, yeah. I-I'll play along.
134
00:06:16,230 --> 00:06:17,300
我什么时候一振的
What was my first strike?
135
00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:18,600
三月十八号
March 18th.
136
00:06:18,660 --> 00:06:22,260
你违反了我设立的禁止转发搞笑邮件的规定
You violated my rule about forwarding email humor.
137
00:06:22,330 --> 00:06:23,760
我有吗
I did?
138
00:06:23,830 --> 00:06:28,000
那只想吃"芝士汉包"的猫的图片
The photo of the cat who wants to "has cheezeburger"?
139
00:06:28,060 --> 00:06:30,960
拜托 每个人都喜欢搞笑猫
Oh, come on. Everybody loves "LOL cats."
- 14 -
140
00:06:31,030 --> 00:06:36,460
多可爱啊 它们是猫嘛所以不会拼写
They're cute and they can't spell 'cause they're cats.
141
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:38,530
我信任你才给你我的邮箱
I trusted you with my email address,
142
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:41,260
你发网络老古董给我 这就背叛了我对你的信任
and you betrayed that trust by sending me Internet banality:
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00:06:41,330 --> 00:06:42,600
一振
strike one.
144
00:06:43,700 --> 00:06:45,330
动了我的食物 二振
Touching my food: strike two.
145
00:06:47,430 --> 00:06:50,460
别担心 只在你的档案里保存一年
Don't worry. They only stay on your record for a year.
146
00:06:51,900 --> 00:06:55,200
你也能早点把它们从你的档案里去掉 可就得去上他的课 You can get them removed early, but you have to take his class.
147
00:06:57,230 --> 00:06:59,160
拜托 我就碰了一个洋葱圈
Come on, I touched one onion ring.
148
00:06:59,230 --> 00:07:00,560
没错 但你又把它放回来了
Yeah, and then you put it back,
149
00:07:00,630 --> 00:07:04,530
从而污染了其它洋葱圈
compromising the integrity of all the other onion rings.
- 15 -
150
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,800
亲爱的 你以后还想不想搭我的车了
Oh, honey, the buses don't go where you live, do they?
151
00:07:11,700 --> 00:07:13,730
听着佩妮 我也想对你宽容一些
Look, Penny, I wish I could be more lenient with you,
152
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,760
但你现在已经是我们这个小团体的永久成员了
but since you've become a permanent member of our social group,
153
00:07:15,830 --> 00:07:18,100
我就得告诉你一些大家都遵循的规矩
I have to hold you to the same standards as everybody else.
154
00:07:19,460 --> 00:07:21,930
恭喜了 你正式成为我们中的一员
Congratulations. You're officially one of us.
155
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,560
新成员 新成员
One of us, one of us.
156
00:07:24,630 --> 00:07:28,230
太激动了
Well, what a thrill.
157
00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:30,400
你坐在我的位子上了
You're sitting in my spot.
158
00:07:30,460 --> 00:07:32,530
天呐 别跟我开玩笑了
Oh, jeez, you've got to be kidding me.
159
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:33,660
莱纳德 她坐在我的位置上呢
Leonard, she's in my spot.
- 16 -
160
00:07:33,730 --> 00:07:36,830
事情是这样的
Yeah, yeah. Uh, see, here's the thing.
161
00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:40,830
你走了以后 我还要和他住在一起
After you leave, I still have to live with him.
162
00:07:40,900 --> 00:07:43,930
我不管 我就坐这了
I don't care. I'm taking a stand.
163
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,730
这是个暗喻[taking a stand 明确立场] Metaphorically.
164
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,900
那好吧 三振出局
All right, that's it. Strike three.
165
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:51,960
噢 三振
Ooh, strike three.
166
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:54,860
我被驱逐了
I'm banished?
167
00:07:54,930 --> 00:07:57,360
什么东西啊
What the hell kind of crap is that?
168
00:07:57,430 --> 00:07:59,100
别担心 我会和他谈谈的
Listen, don't worry. I'll talk to him.
169
00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:00,460
没错 你谈吧
Yeah, you do that.
- 17 -
170
00:08:00,530 --> 00:08:02,460
弱弱地问一句 你愿意来听他的课么
Just so I know, would you be open to taking his class?
171
00:08:07,660 --> 00:08:10,060
你可以在网上听
You can do it online!
172
00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:12,960
根据我们的三角测量法
So based on our triangulation,
173
00:08:13,030 --> 00:08:15,030
我们锁定了超模的所在地
we've narrowed down the location of the Top Model house
174
00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:17,730
在好莱坞山周围三平方英里内
to three square miles in the Hollywood Hills.
175
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:20,900
或者在北卡罗来纳的杜伦
Or possibly Durham, Noh Carolina.
176
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:22,860
我们找到的时候你想和我们一起去么
When we find it, you want to go with us?
177
00:08:22,930 --> 00:08:24,830
去做什么
To do what?
178
00:08:24,900 --> 00:08:27,660
和漂亮姑娘开派对啊
Party with the pretty girls, dude!
179
00:08:27,730 --> 00:08:29,100
你疯了么
Are you insane?
- 18 -
180
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,760
你可去不成
You're not going to party with them.
181
00:08:30,830 --> 00:08:32,560
你连接近那个地方都做不到
You're not even going to get anywhere near that place.
182
00:08:32,630 --> 00:08:36,760
关于月球 当年他们也是对阿姆斯特朗[登月第一人]也是这么说的 That's what they said to Neil Armstrong about the moon.
183
00:08:36,830 --> 00:08:38,760
没人对阿姆斯特朗说过这样的话
No one said anything of the kind to Neil Armstrong.
184
00:08:38,830 --> 00:08:41,760
为了送一个人上月球
The entire nation dedicated a decade of effort and treasure
185
00:08:41,830 --> 00:08:43,230
整个国家做出了十年的努力
to put a man on the moon.
186
00:08:43,300 --> 00:08:45,730
我亲爱的美国兄弟们 不出今年
Well, my fellow Americans, before this year is out,
187
00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:48,760
我们就可以把沃罗威茨送到一个超级模特身边去
we will put a Wolowitz on one of America's top models.
188
00:08:50,900 --> 00:08:54,260
之后会有很多人认为这事从来没发生过
And a large number of people will believe it never happened.
189
00:08:55,430 --> 00:08:57,100
让我想想
Okay, let me guess.
- 19 -
190
00:08:57,160 --> 00:09:00,100
莱纳德要为乳糖不耐受人准备的配豆腐乳的油炸玉米粉饼
A quesadilla with soy cheese for the lactose-intolerant Leonard.
191
00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:01,500
谢谢
Thank you.
192
00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:03,100
不要杏仁的大虾凯撒沙拉
Shrimp Caesar salad with no almonds
193
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:05,860
是给极易过敏只在重大节日进行犹太洁食的霍华德的
for the highly allergic kosher-only-on-the-high-holidays Howard.
194
00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:09,230
给我们突然回到印度饮食习惯的拉杰的是
And for our suddenly "back on the Hindu wagon" Raj,
195
00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:10,900
专给爱吃肉的人准备的披萨不放肉
the meatlover's pizza, no meat.
196
00:09:12,860 --> 00:09:14,430
马上就来
Coming right up.
197
00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:15,630
等下
Wait. Excuse me.
198
00:09:15,700 --> 00:09:18,060
你忘了我的烧烤培根芝士汉堡
You forgot my barbecue bacon cheeseburger,
199
00:09:18,130 --> 00:09:20,530
烤肉酱 培根 芝士单放
barbecue sauce, bacon and cheese on the side.
- 20 -
200
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,730
我没告诉你么
Oh, I didn't tell you?
201
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:25,430
你被芝士蛋糕工厂驱逐了
You're banished from the Cheesecake Factory.
202
00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:27,830
为什么
Why?
203
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:29,060
因为你三振了呀
Well, you have three strikes.
204
00:09:30,030 --> 00:09:31,900
进门一振 坐下二振
One: coming in. Two: sitting down.
205
00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:34,500
三振是因为我不喜欢你的态度
And three: I don't like your attitude.
206
00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:36,060
你不能这么做
You can't do that.
207
00:09:36,130 --> 00:09:38,360
这不仅违反了加州法律
Not only is it a violation of California state law,
208
00:09:38,430 --> 00:09:41,400
而且明目张胆地违背了芝士蛋糕工厂的规定
it flies directly in the face of Cheesecake Factory policy.
209
00:09:41,460 --> 00:09:43,030
不会 现在有新的规定了
Yeah, no, there's a new policy:
- 21 -
210
00:09:43,100 --> 00:09:45,330
日本人与谢尔顿不准进入
No shoes, no shirt, no Sheldon.
211
00:09:46,860 --> 00:09:49,830
我打赌这种牌子一定能在帕萨迪纳大卖 I bet we could sell that sign all over Pasadena.
212
00:09:51,930 --> 00:09:52,830
佩妮 我能和你说句话么
Penny, can I talk to you for a minute?
213
00:09:58,300 --> 00:09:59,400
事情是这样的
Well, here's the thing.
214
00:09:59,460 --> 00:10:03,260
我和谢尔顿谈过了 他也觉得自己过分
Um, I talked to Sheldon and he feels terrible
215
00:10:03,330 --> 00:10:07,100
他也认为他有点不可理喻 有点过火了
and he agrees that he was unreasonable and out of line.
216
00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:08,700
真的吗 那太好了
Really? Well, that's great.
217
00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:11,760
是的 跟他道个歉 好吗
Yeah, so just apologize to him, okay?
218
00:10:11,830 --> 00:10:15,600
什么 我干嘛要向那个疯子道歉
What? I'm not going to apologize to that nutcase.
219
00:10:15,660 --> 00:10:16,900
别这样 其实很简单
Oh, come on. It's easy.
- 22 -
220
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,130
他还会亲自指导你怎么道歉
He'll even tell you what to say.
221
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:20,300
莱纳德 你还没开窍吗
Leard, don't you get it?
222
00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:22,200
如果你们一味让他这样神经兮兮
If you guys keep going along with his insanity,
223
00:10:22,260 --> 00:10:23,510
会助长他的气焰
you're just encouraging him.
224
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:27,770
才没有 我们是 卑躬屈膝
We're not encouraging. It's more like... knuckling under.
225
00:10:28,340 --> 00:10:29,940
我喜欢和你们一起
Look, I like hanging out with you guys,
226
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,300
但我绝不会为莫须有的罪名道歉
but I'm not going to apologize for something I didn't do.
227
00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:35,670
事实上 严格来说 你真的有做
Well, actually, technically, you did do it.
228
00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:39,100
那是一振 莱纳德
That's strike one, Leonard.
229
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:42,770
这是你的油炸玉米粉饼
There you go: quesadilla.
- 23 -
230
00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:44,340
沙拉
Salad.
231
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:45,940
还有你的披萨
There's your pizza.
232
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,900
在谢尔顿和本餐厅经理经过
And thanks to Sheldon's heated discussion
233
00:10:47,970 --> 00:10:48,970
热烈讨论后
with my manager
234
00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:50,570
一份烧烤汁加上熏肉奶酪分开放的
one barbecue bacon cheeseburger,
235
00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:53,300
烤肉芝士汉堡送上
barbecue sauce, bacon and cheese on the side.
236
00:10:53,370 --> 00:10:54,700
谢谢
Thank you.
237
00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:57,340
别客气 尽情吃
Go ahead. Eat it.
238
00:11:02,650 --> 00:11:04,450
有种就吃
I dare you
239
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:16,200
就是这里 找到了 我找到了全美超模
That's it. There's the house. I foundAmerica's top models!
- 24 -
240
00:11:16,270 --> 00:11:18,240
真的吗
Are you sure?
241
00:11:18,300 --> 00:11:19,400
看啊 房顶上
Look, on the roof.
242
00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:21,970
阿娜伊斯和吉赛尔在晒日光浴
Anais and Giselle are sunbathing.
243
00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:24,340
还是欧式的
European-style.
244
00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,640
单从google的卫星地图 你就能把她们认出吗
You can recognize people on Google Earth?
245
00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:29,140
当然不是
Of course not.
246
00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:33,140
一个在北美防空联合司令部的哥们派了架间谍机去监视 I got a buddy of mine at NORAD to have a spy drone fly over.
247
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,740
北美防空联合司令部 你还动用了军用飞机
NORAD? You're using military aircraft?
248
00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:39,900
它被设定任务 去西伯利亚核反应堆周边巡逻
It was already targeted to poke around a nuclear reactor in Siberia.
249
00:11:39,970 --> 00:11:42,140
我也最多借来用一个小时
I took it an hour out of its way, tops.
- 25 -
250
00:11:43,540 --> 00:11:45,140
好了 他在哪
Okay, where is he?
251
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,700
谢尔顿吗 我载他去了漫画店 怎么了
Sheldon? I just dropped him off at the comic book store. Why?
252
00:11:47,770 --> 00:11:49,970
这 试试上网
Here. Try and go online.
253
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:53,670
-无线上网有问题吗 -你试试啊
Problem with the WiFi? Just try.
254
00:11:53,740 --> 00:11:55,700
你好 乱抓汉堡的人
Greetings, hamburger toucher.
255
00:11:57,370 --> 00:11:58,770
或许你在讶异
You are probably wondering
256
00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,270
为什么你不能上网和朋友去聊一下
why you cannot IM with your little friends
257
00:12:01,340 --> 00:12:04,040
你的生活是多么如此这般美妙
about how much you "heart" various things.
258
00:12:05,740 --> 00:12:07,800
这段录像是在警告你
This recorded message is alerting you
259
00:12:07,870 --> 00:12:09,340
你偷用我们的无线上网账号的日子
that I am putting an end
- 26 -
260
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,740
已经一去不复返
to your parasitic piggybacking upon our WiFi.
261
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,000
如果你想补救现状
If you want to remedy the situation,
262
00:12:13,070 --> 00:12:16,070
你就自个儿打电话给电讯公司
you can contact the phone company,
263
00:12:16,140 --> 00:12:21,640
自己开个无线账号 自己付钱 或者你可以跟我道歉
set up your own WiFi and pay for it, or you may apologize to me.
264
00:12:23,970 --> 00:12:24,970
看
Well?
265
00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:27,240
早说了 卑躬屈膝
I reiterate: knuckle under.
266
00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:29,300
不不不 我要宣战了
No, no, no, no, no. It is on.
267
00:12:29,370 --> 00:12:32,100
我要给你那位朋友点颜色瞧瞧
I am gonna introduce your friend to a world of hurt.
268
00:12:32,170 --> 00:12:35,170
佩妮 没人想要跟谢尔顿 对着干
Oh, Penny, you don't want to get into it with Sheldon.
269
00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:38,900
这人是从超级恶人实验室 事故里逃出来的
The guy is one lab accident away from being a supervillain.
- 27 -
270
00:12:38,970 --> 00:12:41,540
我不管 我以前还是牛仔呢
I don't care. I was in junior rodeo.
271
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:44,600
不用一分钟 我就可以把他五花大绑还阉了 I can hogtie and castrate him in 60 seconds.
272
00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:48,000
别这样对一个书呆子嘛
No need to neuter the nerd.
273
00:12:48,070 --> 00:12:49,640
我能帮你上网
I can get you back online.
274
00:12:49,700 --> 00:12:52,100
看 问题解决了
There, see? Problem solved.
275
00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:55,240
好啦[依地语 犹太人使用的国际语]
Voil?
276
00:12:55,300 --> 00:12:59,140
你好啊 小虫子
SHELDON: Hello, puny insects.
277
00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:02,500
作为和我对着干的惩罚
As a consequence of your efforts to circumvent my will,
278
00:13:02,570 --> 00:13:06,440
你们每人都额外增加一振
everyone is awarded one additional strike.
279
00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:09,440
多亏你啊 霍华德
Thanks a lot, Howard.
- 28 -
280
00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:10,900 你在哪里啰嗦什么
What are you complaining about?
281
00:13:10,970 --> 00:13:13,370 我还要去接受他的教育
I'm the one who has to take the class again.
282
00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:25,040 你好
Hello.
283
00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:28,170 要去洗衣服吗
Time to do your laundry, huh?
284
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,170 周六晚嘛
It's Saturday night.
285
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:32,140 周六是洗衣之夜
Saturday is laundry night.
286
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:33,970 我知道
I know.
287
00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:36,740 每个周六的8点15分
Every Saturday at 8:15.
288
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:39,040 老少咸宜
Easy to anticipate.
289
00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:43,270 你这是什么意思
What are you implying?
- 29 -
290
00:13:43,340 --> 00:13:46,270
我在说你是一个有生活习惯的人
I'm implying that you're a creature of habit.
291
00:13:46,340 --> 00:13:49,070
如果因为某些事 周六晚上8点15分
And if something were to prevent you from doing your laundry
292
00:13:49,140 --> 00:13:50,640
不能洗衣服
on Saturday at 8:15,
293
00:13:50,700 --> 00:13:53,000
你会觉得
you might find it...
294
00:13:53,070 --> 00:13:55,400
不爽
unpleasant.
295
00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:02,840
甘拜下风吧
Knuckle under? My ass.
296
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:14,700
不是吧 所有的机器都有人用
Oh, no, are all the machines taken?
297
00:14:16,140 --> 00:14:18,600
你该怎么办呢
What are you gonna do?
298
00:14:18,670 --> 00:14:20,740
没问题
No problem.
299
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:24,440
换一个晚上再洗好了
I'll just do my laundry another night.
- 30 -
300
00:14:25,570 --> 00:14:26,570
换一个晚上
Another night?
301
00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:28,670
好吧 尽管试试
Well, I guess you can try,
302
00:14:28,740 --> 00:14:30,400
但你内心深处
but deep inside your heart,
303
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:34,570
你知道洗衣之夜永远是周六晚上
you'll know that laundry night is always Saturday night.
304
00:14:38,770 --> 00:14:42,640
女人 你在和一个智慧比你高的多的人较劲
Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
305
00:14:42,700 --> 00:14:45,900
让你那高人一等的智慧见鬼去吧
Yeah, well, your ken can kiss my Barbie.
306
00:14:50,970 --> 00:14:52,170
谢尔顿 谢尔顿
Sheldon. Sheldon!
307
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:53,840
谢尔顿
Sheldon.
308
00:14:57,540 --> 00:14:59,600
怎么啦
Yes?
309
00:14:59,670 --> 00:15:01,200
我的衣服都去哪儿了
Where are my clothes?
- 31 -
310
00:15:01,270 --> 00:15:05,100
-你的衣服 -对 我把它们放在滚筒里洗
Your clothes? Yes, I left them in the washers
311
00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:07,700
后来我再下去拿的时候它们就不见了
and when I went down to get them, they were gone.
312
00:15:07,770 --> 00:15:08,270
真的吗
Really?
313
00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:11,770
你没见那块牌子上写"不要远离在洗的衣物"么
Despite the sign that says "Do not leave laundry unattended"?
314
00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:13,740
谢尔顿 我的衣服在哪儿
Sheldon, where are my clothes?
315
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:18,040
好像我是记得看到过一些女式内衣什么的
You know, I do recall seeing some female undergarments.
316
00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:19,400
在哪儿呢
Where was that?
317
00:15:19,470 --> 00:15:21,000
哦对
Oh, yes...
318
00:15:21,070 --> 00:15:22,940
就是没多久之前
Earlier this evening,
319
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,940
我碰巧在眺望窗外的景色
I happened to gaze out the window
- 32 -
320
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,570
居然看到了一副罩罩
and a brassiere caught my eye.
321
00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:30,240
你看看那个是不是呢
Do those look familiar?
322
00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:33,500
你他娘的怎么把我衣服弄到电话线上去了
How the hell did you get them up on that telephone wire?
323
00:15:33,570 --> 00:15:36,070
当你领悟到物理学的真谛之后 佩妮
When you understand the laws of physics, Penny,
324
00:15:36,140 --> 00:15:37,840
一切皆有可能
anything is possible.
325
00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:43,400
我能不能再加一句 木哈哈
And may I add: mwuh-ha-ha.
326
00:15:43,470 --> 00:15:45,170
拿回来
Get them down.
327
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:46,440
-道歉 -绝不
Apologize. Never.
328
00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:48,540
那你就去准备一根长棍子
Well, then may I suggest you get a very long stick
329
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:49,970
然后开始玩"挑裤衩"吧
and play panty pinata.
- 33 -
330
00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:54,640
等等 谢尔顿 我们做得过头了
Look, wait, Sheldon, this has gotten out of hand, okay?
331
00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:56,000
我干了一些蠢事
I've done some stupid things.
332
00:15:56,070 --> 00:15:57,300
你也干了一些蠢事
You've done some stupid things.
333
00:15:57,370 --> 00:15:59,940
我们就算扯平 大家平安度日 怎么样啊
How about we just call it even and move on with our lives?
334
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,600
我才没做蠢事
I've done no stupid things.
335
00:16:01,670 --> 00:16:03,370
我已经作出让步了 你也应该有所表示
Look, you've got to meet me halfway here.
336
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:04,940
我有表示的
I am meeting you halfway.
337
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,140
我非常愿意承认 你做了一些蠢事
I'm willing to concede that you've done stupid things.
338
00:16:08,670 --> 00:16:12,740
你们又开始说话了啊 太好了
Hey, you guys are talking again. Good.
339
00:16:14,670 --> 00:16:17,000
又咋了
What happened?
- 34 -
340
00:16:17,070 --> 00:16:19,640
莱纳德 记得我说我跟他较上了吗
Leonard, remember when I said it was on?
341
00:16:19,700 --> 00:16:21,800
现在看来我要跟他没完了
Well, now it's junior rodeo on.
342
00:16:21,870 --> 00:16:26,040
不是吧
Oh, not junior rodeo.
343
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,570
你干啥了
What did you do?
344
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:30,340
是她逼我的 莱纳德
I had no choice, Leonard.
345
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,340
她毁了我的洗衣之夜
She ruined laundry night.
346
00:16:36,770 --> 00:16:39,070
木哈哈
Mwuh-ha-ha.
347
00:16:47,900 --> 00:16:52,000
电话线不会把我电死的 对吧
Telephone wires can't electrocute you, can they?
348
00:16:52,070 --> 00:16:54,770
不会 你是不是该收手了
No. Look, this has to stop.
349
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:57,840
不不不 这才刚开始呢
Oh, no, no, no. It is just beginning.
- 35 -
350
00:16:57,900 --> 00:17:02,640
好吧 我实在是不想这么干 不过
All right, I really didn't want to do this, but...
351
00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:04,340
给
here.
352
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,170
这是什么
What's this?
353
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:09,370
谢尔顿的致命弱点[超人剧集里的物质] Sheldon's Kryptonite.
354
00:17:11,100 --> 00:17:14,340
我的天
Oh, my God.
355
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:17,540
绝对不能告诉他是我给你的
He can never know that I gave that to you.
356
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:20,640
我是说过要给他点颜色瞧瞧
Look, I said I wanted to hurt him, but...
357
00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:23,000
但这也太
but this?
358
00:17:23,070 --> 00:17:26,170
用这个办法能大大缩短你们的战争耗时 It'll shorten the war by five years
359
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:28,500
从而拯救千百万人民
and save millions of lives.
- 36 -
360
00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:34,200
停下 对了 就是这里
Oh, pause it. That's it. Confirmed.
361
00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:38,500
我们找到超模们的地址了
We now have the address of the Top Model house.
362
00:17:38,570 --> 00:17:42,040
上帝保佑你 谷歌街景注册商标
God bless you, Google Street View registered trademark.
363
00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:45,040
你们两个
Okay, for the record,
364
00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:46,940
这么做也太恶心了吧
what you're doing is really creepy.
365
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,600
告诉你 如果使用互联网
You know what? If it's "creepy"
366
00:17:48,670 --> 00:17:52,500
还有军用卫星和机器飞艇
to use the Internet, military satellites, and robot aircraft
367
00:17:52,570 --> 00:17:54,800
来定位一幢装满了火辣模特的房子
to find a house full of gorgeous young models
368
00:17:54,870 --> 00:17:56,840
好让我不时去访问一下她们能叫"恶心"的话 so that I can drop in on them unexpectedly,
369
00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:58,940
就好吧 就算我"恶心"好了
then fine, I'm "creepy."
- 37 -
370
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,300
喂
Hello.
371
00:18:05,370 --> 00:18:07,540
你好 好的 稍等一下 我去叫他
Oh, hi. Yeah, hold on a second. I'll get him.
372
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:08,640
谢尔顿 你的电话
Sheldon, it's for you.
373
00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:10,500
-谁打来的 -你妈妈
Who is it? Your mother.
374
00:18:10,570 --> 00:18:12,640
好的
Oh, good.
375
00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:15,000
妈妈 你好吗
Hi, Mom. How are you?
376
00:18:16,100 --> 00:18:17,800
但 妈妈
But, Mom...
377
00:18:20,170 --> 00:18:23,270
她老是坐我的专座
she keeps sitting in my spot.
378
00:18:23,340 --> 00:18:27,200
还碰我的食物
And-and she touched my food.
379
00:18:27,270 --> 00:18:31,200
是的 我是拿了她衣服 不过是她先挑拨我的Okay, yes, I took her clothes, but she started it...
- 38 -
380
00:18:31,270 --> 00:18:34,800
这太不公平了
No, that's not fair.
381
00:18:34,870 --> 00:18:37,370
为什么我要去道歉
Why should I have to apologize?
382
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:39,800
我认为这点小事
Yeah, I really don't think this is the kind of thing
383
00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:41,840
耶稣是不会来关心的
Jesus concerns himself with.
384
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,270
好吧我错了
No, you're right.
385
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:46,800
我不可能知道耶稣在想什么
I don't really know what Jesus thinks about.
386
00:18:46,870 --> 00:18:49,500
好吧 再见
All right, good-bye.
387
00:18:51,470 --> 00:18:54,070
是你告发我的吗
Did you tell on me?
388
00:18:54,140 --> 00:18:55,540
开什么玩笑
Are you kidding me?
389
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:57,100
我已经被两振了
I already have two strikes.
- 39 -
390
00:19:03,900 --> 00:19:06,500 佩妮 佩妮
Penny. Penny.
391
00:19:06,570 --> 00:19:08,300 佩妮
Penny.
392
00:19:10,470 --> 00:19:13,370 我非常非常抱歉 我错了
I am very, very sorry for what I have done.
393
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:14,600 这是你的衣服
Here's your laundry.
394
00:19:14,670 --> 00:19:16,340 我把你被振的次数清零了
I rescind your strikes
395
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:19,270 同样还取消对你的驱逐令
and you are no longer banished.
396
00:19:19,340 --> 00:19:21,700 我能随便坐哪儿吗
Can I sit wherever I want?
397
00:19:24,740 --> 00:19:25,870 算了 算了
Never mind, never mind.
398
00:19:25,940 --> 00:19:27,540 那个不重要
That's, that's not important.
399
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,470 谢尔顿 你的气量很大
Sheldon, this was big of you.
- 40 -
400
00:19:29,540 --> 00:19:31,100
谢谢 我非常感谢你
Thank you. I really appreciate it.
401
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,340
谢谢
Thank you.
402
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:33,840
晚安 谢尔顿
Good night, Sheldon.
403
00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:35,300
佩妮
Penny...
404
00:19:35,370 --> 00:19:36,540
怎么
Yes?
405
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,500
你够狠
Well played.
406
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:42,900
谢谢
Thank you.
407
00:19:42,970 --> 00:19:48,300
记住 能力越大 责任越大[蜘蛛侠经典台词]
Just remember: with great power comes great responsibility.
408
00:19:50,540 --> 00:19:51,540
了解了
Understood.
409
00:20:06,300 --> 00:20:07,620
请问有事吗
Can I help you
- 41 -
410
00:20:08,260 --> 00:20:10,090
有 我们是来修有线电视的
Yes, we here to fix the cable.
411
00:20:11,660 --> 00:20:13,930
我们这里不是卫星电视吗
I think we have satellite.
412
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:16,810
我就是说卫星电视
That's what I meant.
413
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,900
好吧 请进
Oh. Okay, come on in.
414
00:20:26,090 --> 00:20:29,820
她比我全家女人加起来都高
She's taller than all the women in my family combined.
415
00:20:31,670 --> 00:20:32,590
现在我们干嘛
What do we do now?
416
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,150
跟着沃罗威茨夫人走
Follow Mrs. Wolowitz.
-Sheldon:Worst renaissance fair ever.
-Leonard:Please let it go, Sheldon.
-Sheldon:It was rife with historical inaccuracies.For example, the tavern girl serving flagons of mead. Her costume was obviously Germanic. But in 1487, the Bavarian purity laws, Or "Reinheitsgebot," Severely limited the availability of mead. At best, they would have had some sort of spiced wine.
-Leonard:You're nitpicking.
-Sheldon:Oh, really?Well here is another nit for you. The flagons would not have been made of polypropylene.
-Howard:Renaissance fairs aren't about historical accuracy. They're about taking chubby girls who work at Kinko's and lacing them up in corsets so tight their bosom jumps out and says, "howdy."
-Sheldon:Bosoms would not have said "howdy" in the 15th century. If anything, they would've said, "huzzah."
-Howard:I don't care what the bosoms say, Sheldon. I just want to be part of the conversation.
-Penny:Hi, guys.Looks like you've been to the renaissance fair... I'm hoping.
- 42 -
-Sheldon:Renaissance fair? More of a medieval, slash, age of enlightenment, slash, any-excuse- to-wear-a-codpiece fair.
-Penny:Okay, fine, whatever. You guys, this is my friend Eric.
-Leonard:So, yeah, good to see you.
-Penny:It's good to see you, too.We should probably go.Bye, guys.
-Man:I like your hat.
-Howard:Thanks, my mom made it.Penny with a new guy, tri-awkward.
-Leonard:It wasn't awkward. It wasn't fun.Besides, what's the big deal?We dated, we stopped dating, and now we're both moving on.
-Raj:By moving on, Do you mean she's going out with other men and you spent the afternoon making 15th-century soap with Wolowitz?
-Sheldon:That was not 15th century soap.My god, those people need to learn.You can't just put "ye olde" in front of anything you want and expect to get away with it.
-Leonard:Can we please just go in?My chain mail's stuck in my underwear.
-Sheldon:You're wearing modern underwear?
-Leonard:Relatively modern. Why, what are you wearing?
-Sheldon:I fashioned historically accurate undergarments out of linen.
-Leonard:You went out and bought linen?
-Sheldon:Don't be silly-- I borrowed one of your pillowcases.
-Leonard:Borrowed?You know what, I'm happy that Penny's moving on.It gives me the freedom to move on myself.
-Howard:Are you saying that you've been holding back?
-Leonard:Of course. Out of respect.
-Howard:So, how do you explain the ten years before Penny?
-Raj:Who were you respecting then?
-Leonard:Well, I've dated plenty of women. There was Joyce Kim... Leslie Winkle...
-Sheldon:Notify the editors of the Oxford English dictionary. The word "plenty" has been redefined to mean "two."
-Leonard:What about that girl last year at comic-con?
-Raj:Doesn't count.
-Leonard:Why not?
-Raj:What happens in costume at comic-con stays at comic-con.
-Howard:You're only saying that because of what happened to you.
-Leonard:What happened to you?
-Raj:Nothing happened to me.
-Howard:It wasn't your fault, Raj.He was dressed as a green Orion slave girl.
-Raj:How did we get on me?!We were mocking Leonard for not moving on.Dude, you have totally not moved on.
-Leonard:Yes, I have.It's just a matter of actually making a date with someone.
-Howard:like who?
-Leonard:Well... There's Joyce Kim. But she defected back to North Korea, So that's a little geographically undesirable.
-Raj:What about Leslie Winkle?
-Sheldon:Oh, no.
-Raj:why?
-Sheldon:Her research methodology is sloppy, She's unjustifiably arrogant about loop quantum gravity, and to make matters worse, she's often mean to me.
-Raj:I think she's smoking hot.
-Howard:I'd hit that.
-Sheldon:You'd hit particulate soil in a colloidal suspension. Mud.
-Leonard:Look, I like Leslie, but she's not interested in dating as much as using men as tools for stress release.
-Howard:Yeah, so? Be a tool.Go get yourself a little rebound "stress release."
-Raj:Technically, it would only be rebound if he and Penny had actually engaged in physical intimacy.
-Howard:You mean like you and Richard the slave girl?
-Raj:I bought him dinner and we kissed once! That was it.And he told me his name was Kimberly.
-Sheldon:You know how I know we're not in the matrix?
-Leonard:How?
-Sheldon:If we were, the food would be better.
-Leslie:Hey, Leonard.
-Leonard:Hey, Leslie.
-Leslie:Hey, dummy.
-Sheldon:Hello, to you... insufficiently intelligent person.
-Leslie:Ooh, rush me to the burn unit. Hey, Leonard, do you have a second? I need to ask you something.
-Leonard:sure.
-Sheldon:Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go do work that promises significant results, as opposed to what you do... which does not. Yeah, you heard me.
-Leslie:So, I heard your relationship with Penny crashed to the ground like blue ice falling out of an airplane lavatory.
-Leonard:Where did you hear that?
-Leslie:Actually, I read it. Wolowitz texted me.
-Leonard:like blue ice falling out of an airplane lavatory, yeah.
-Leslie:I thought it was a pretty good one. I gave him an LOL.Anyway, it got me thinking. Now that you're unattached, maybe we can revisit our previous attachment.
-Leonard:Are you suggesting another bout of stress release?
-Leslie:No, I'm all done with casual sex.From now on, I'm fully committed to the traditional relationship paradigm.
-Leonard:Really? what changed?
-Leslie:It's hard to say.I guess there's just a time in every woman's life when she gets tired of waking up on a strange futon with a bunch of people she doesn't know
-Leonard:Yeah, I can see how that would-- a bunch of people?
- 43 -
-Leslie:Anyway, I figure it's time to slow things down。And who better to slow things down with than you?
-Leonard:Oh... I'm flattered.So how do you suggest we proceed?
-Leslie:Your place, we'll order Chinese, you'll rent a movie-- artsy, but accessible-- then light petting, no coitus.
-Leonard:Sounds fun.
-Leslie:I'll leave the details up to you. I think it's better if you assume the male role.
-Leonard:Thank you, that's very thoughtful.
-Leslie:Great. Call me.
-Sheldon:Great news. My mom sent me my old Nintendo 64.
-Leonard:Terrific
-Sheldon:You know what this means, don't you? Break out the red bull, It's time to rock Mario, old school.
-Leonard:I kind of have other plans tonight.
-Sheldon:But it's Friday. Friday's always vintage game night.Look, mom included the memory card. We can pick up right where I left off in 1999 when I had pernicious anemia.
-Leonard:Well, the thing is, someone's coming over.
-Sheldon:Okay, no problem. I have three controllers. The more the merrier.
-Leonard:Sheldon, it's a date. I have a date coming over.
-Sheldon:Well, you can't blame me for not jumping to that conclusion.
-Leonard:Why? what's so unusual about me having a date?
-Sheldon:Well, statistically speaking...
-Leonard:All right, all right. Well, nevertheless, I have one now.And I'd appreciate it if you would, you know, make yourself scarce.
-Sheldon:Leonard, I'm a published theoretical physicist with two doctorates and an IQ which can't be accurately measured by normal tests. How much scarcer could I be?
-Leonard:You know what I mean. Could you just give us a little privacy?
-Sheldon:You want me to leave the apartment?
-Leonard:yes.
-Sheldon:You mean, just go someplace else and be... someplace else?
-Leonard:Yes.
-Sheldon:Well, why should I leave? This is my apartment, too.
-Leonard:I know it is, and if science ever discovers a second member of your species and you two would like some privacy, I'd be more than happy to get out of your way.
-Sheldon:Well, all right then.
-Penny:Sheldon, what are you doing?
-Sheldon:Playing super Mario on a poorly coded Nintendo 64 emulator.
-Penny:Yeah, but why are you doing it on the stairs?
-Sheldon:I am a modern day Napoleon exiled to the Elba of the staircase because Leonard, get this, has a date.
-Penny:Oh. well, good for him.Yeah, but why are you sitting here? Why don't you just go to a movie or something?
-Sheldon:Alone?
-Penny:Yeah, why not?
-Sheldon:What if I choke on my popcorn? Who will administer the heimlich maneuver?
-Penny:Well, then don't order popcorn.
-Sheldon:No popcorn at the mov... listen to yourself.
-Penny:Why don't you go to a coffee shop?
-Sheldon:I don't drink coffee.
-Penny:They have other things.
-Sheldon:What do they have?
-Penny:I don't know. you know, cookies, pastries...
-Sheldon:Pastries such as bear claws?
-Penny:Yeah, sure.
-Sheldon:I don't like bear claws.
-Leslie:Hey, penny. Dumbass.。
-Sheldon:Leslie winkle. Of all the overrated physicists in all the labs in all the world, Why does it have to be Leslie winkle?
-Penny:Well, they have a lot in common. I mean, they're both scientists.
-Sheldon:Oh, please. The only way she could make a contribution to science would be if they resumed sending chimps into space.
-Penny:Okay, well, I have a date, too, So I'll see ya.
-Sheldon:Everybody has a date. Even you, Mario, going after princess Peach. and what am I doing? I'm just enabling you.
-Leslie:This is pretty orange chicken.
-Leonard:Yeah, it's from chang's.
-Leslie:Not chow's?
-Leonard:no, chang's.
-Leslie:What happened to chow's?
-Leonard:It changed.
-Leslie:So, how many children do you think we should have? I'm sorry. That was a little abrupt.
-Leonard:A little?
-Leslie:I mean, there are so many things to talk about before we discuss reproduction.
-Leonard:I sure hope so.
-Leslie:Besides shortness, What genetic weaknesses run in your family?
-Sheldon:Sorry to interrupt. Battery's dying. continue.
-Leonard:Uh, genetic weakness, right. Uh, there's the lactose intolerance.
-Sheldon:Don't forget the male-pattern baldness. When his uncles sit around the dinner table, they look like a half carton of eggs.
-Leonard:Okay, yeah, my uncles are bald, but my aunt Edna is one of the hairiest women you'll ever meet, so... sweet lady. Always tickles when she hugs me.What now?
- 44 -
-Sheldon:I have to make pee-pee.
-Leonard:Listen, I'm sorry about all of Sheldon's interruptions.He can be a bit of an eccentric.
-Leslie:If by "eccentric" you mean passive-aggressive East Texas blowhole, I agree.
-Leonard:I think tonight was a very good start.
-Leslie:Me, too. Are you sure you're okay postponing intercourse until our relationship is past the initial viability test?
-Leonard:No, problem. I'm very skilled at postponing intercourse.I guess I'll call you and we'll arrange another evening.
-Leslie:Yes, I believe protocol dictates that you wait a minimum of 18 hours before you call so I'm not repulsed by your cloying eagerness. -Leonard:Sure.
-Leslie:Again, it's your decision. you're the man.
-Penny:It wasn't my cat. It was an experiment designed by this guy named Schroedinger.
-Man:From the Charlie Brown cartoons?
-Penny:No, he was some kind of scientist. Let me start again.Oh, hey, Leonard.
-Leonard:Hello.
-Penny:Leslie.
-Leslie:Hi.
-Leonard:Okay, well, good night.
-Penny:Okay, well, good night.
-Leslie:That ain't gonna make your point.That's enough. Call me.
-Leonard:Right.
-Penny:Okay, good night.
-Man:Uh, what?
-Penny:Had a great time. ciao.
-Sheldon:I'm sorry, I am not going back to the renaissance fair.
-Howard:Come on, Sheldon. There're so few places I can wear my jester costume.
-Sheldon:I don't care. There are far too many historical anomalies for my comfort.
-Raj:Okay, how about this?You can go dressed as a star trek science officer exploring a planet similar to earth in the 1500s.
-Sheldon:You mean, like Spock?
-Raj:Sure.
-Sheldon:Fascinating.
-Leslie:Hey, fellow scientists... Sheldon.
-Leonard:Why don't we all move over there so Leslie can join us?
-Howard:Yeah, let's do it.
-Sheldon:If you're having trouble deciding where to sit, may I suggest one potato, two potato? Or as I call it, the Leslie Winkle experimental methodology.
-Leonard:Don't make this hard for me.
-Sheldon:It's not hard. It's simple. You can either sit with me, your friend, colleague and roommate or you can sit with an overrated scientist you might have sex with.
-Leonard:You're right, it is simple.
-Penny:Hey, Sheldon.
-Sheldon:Penny.
-Penny:Third floor tonight-- mixing it up? I still don't understand why you don't just go to dinner or something.
-Sheldon:All right, Let's say I go to dinner alone, And during the meal, I have to use the restroom. How do I know someone's not touching my food? -Penny:Good night, Sheldon.
-Sheldon:Penny, hold on.Are you sure things can't work out with you and Leonard?
-Penny:Excuse me?
-Sheldon:I'm just wondering if you really gave it the old college try. Or in your case, the old community college try.
-Penny:Okay, where is this coming from?
-Sheldon:Leonard is upstairs right now with my archenemy.
-Penny:Your archenemy?
-Sheldon:Yes, the Dr. Doom to my Mr. Fantastic.Dr. Octopus to my Spider-Man,The Dr. Divana to my Captain Marvel.
-Penny:I get it, I get it, I get it.
-Sheldon:Do you know, it's amazing how many super-villains have advanced degrees.Graduate school should probably do a better job of screening those people out.
-Penny:Sheldon, come back. you're losing me.
-Sheldon:It's Leslie winkle, penny. She belittles my research.
-Penny:Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry.
-Sheldon:She called me "dumbass."
-Penny:I know. I heard.
-Sheldon:Given this situation, I have no choice but to withdraw my previous objections to your ill-considered relationship with Leonard. -Penny:Oh, gee, well, thank you for that.But I think for now, Leonard and I are just gonna stay friends.
-Sheldon:No, that response is unacceptable to me.
-Penny:Sheldon, you are a smart guy. You must know...
-Sheldon:I'm "smart"? I'd have to lose 60 IQ points to be classified as "smart."
-Penny:Are you gonna let me talk?
-Sheldon:I'm sorry.
-Penny:You must know that if Leonard and Leslie want to be together, nothing you can do is gonna stop it.
-Sheldon:You continue to underestimate my capabilities, madam.
-Penny:Okay, let me put it this way.If you're really Leonard's friend, you will support him no matter who he wants to be with.
-Sheldon:Wait a minute.Why am I doing all the giving here?If Leonard's really my friend, why doesn't he have to support me and my hatred of Leslie winkle?
-Penny:Because love trumps hate.
- 45 -
-Sheldon:Oh, now you're just making stuff up.
-Penny:Okay, good night, Sheldon.
-Sheldon:Oh, Mario, if only I could control everyone the way I control you.Hop, you little plumber, hop, hop, hop.
-Sheldon:When the two of you reach a natural stopping point, I'd like to have a word.
-Leonard:If your word is "pee-pee." just do it.
-Sheldon:Leonard, you're my friend, And friends support their friends... Apparently.So I'm withdrawing my objection to your desire to have a relationship with Leslie.
-Leonard:Thank you.
-Sheldon:I will graciously overlook the fact that she is an arrogant, subpar scientist who actually believes loop quantum gravity better unites quantum mechanics with generally relativity than does string theory.You kids have fun.
-Leslie:Hang on a second.Loop quantum gravity clearly offers more testable predictions than string theory.
-Sheldon:I'm listening. amuse me.
-Leslie:Okay, well, for one thing, we expect quantized space-time to manifest itself as minute differences in the speed of light for different colors. -Sheldon:Balderdash. matter clearly consists of tiny strings.
-Leslie:Are you gonna let him talk to me like that?
-Leonard:Okay, well, there is a lot of merit to both theories.
-Leslie:No, there isn't. Only loop quantum gravity calculates the entropy of black holes.
-Leonard:Sheldon, don't make that noise. it's disrespectful.
-Sheldon:I should hope so.It was a snort of derision.
-Leslie:You agree with me, right?Loop quantum gravity is the future of physics.
-Leonard:Sorry, Leslie, I guess I prefer my space stringy, not loopy.
-Leslie:I'm glad I found out the truth about you before this went any further.
-Leonard:Truth? what truth?We're talking about untested hypotheses.It's no big deal.
-Leslie:It isn't? really?Tell me, Leonard, how will we raise the children?
-Leonard:I... I guess we wait until they're old enough and let them choose their own theory.
-Leslie:We can't let them choose, Leonard. They're children!
-Leonard:Wait. where are you going?
-Leslie:I'm sorry. I could have accepted our kids being genetically unable to eat ice cream or ever get a good view of a parade.But this? This is a deal breaker.
-Sheldon:Look on the bright side.
-Leonard:What's the bright side?
-Sheldon:Only nine more months to comic-con.
-Leonard:Oh, yeah.
-Sheldon:Captain, I'm getting an unusual reading.
-Leonard:Yeah, that's great.You guys want a corn dog?
-Howard:Yeah.
-Sheldon:That's a temporal anomaly. Corn dog's didn't come into existence till the first half of the 20th century.
- 46 -
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